1 00:00:02,500 --> 00:00:05,577 Previously on Futurama 2 00:00:16,940 --> 00:00:18,843 THE PROUD RESULT OF PRISON LABOR (of leprosorium.ru) 3 00:01:03,671 --> 00:01:14,995 *gibberish* 4 00:01:16,104 --> 00:01:18,763 MATTHEW GROENING PRESENTS A "FUTURAMA"SOUND CARTOON!THE BEAST WITH A BILLION BACKS! 5 00:01:31,979 --> 00:01:37,310 It has now been one month since space ripped openlike flimsy human skin. 6 00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:40,628 Terrified earthlings are beginning to grow exhausted. 7 00:01:46,608 --> 00:01:50,110 Professor, sprinkle us with wisdom from your mighty brain! 8 00:01:50,111 --> 00:01:52,151 How scared should we be? 9 00:01:52,152 --> 00:01:55,303 It is somewhere between "Not at all" and "Entirely". 10 00:01:55,304 --> 00:01:57,520 I call "Entirely". 11 00:02:00,763 --> 00:02:04,413 Scientists believe the rip is a gateway to another Universe, 12 00:02:04,818 --> 00:02:07,514 But do not know what mistery is lying beyond. 13 00:02:07,515 --> 00:02:10,370 However, in this reporter's opinion 14 00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:12,960 Gruesome death awaits us all! 15 00:02:14,889 --> 00:02:18,384 And now with sports. Here's Sportsbot 5000. 16 00:02:22,652 --> 00:02:24,681 All sports cancelled. 17 00:02:28,683 --> 00:02:33,407 To better understand the anomaly, I will now focus its radiation 18 00:02:33,408 --> 00:02:37,168 on a giant medium-sized ant to see what happens. 19 00:02:37,169 --> 00:02:40,280 What's going on here? I was told there will be a sugar syrup. 20 00:02:40,290 --> 00:02:41,233 Quiet you! 21 00:02:54,954 --> 00:02:57,191 Oh hey everyone. This is Coleen. 22 00:02:57,192 --> 00:02:59,363 - (Everyone) Hello.- (Amy) I like your shoes. 23 00:03:00,693 --> 00:03:03,607 This is awkward. Introducing your new girlfriend 24 00:03:03,608 --> 00:03:06,480 to Chastity McNagNag 25 00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:08,649 Oh, don't mind him, I'll turn him off. 26 00:03:08,650 --> 00:03:11,178 Oh, you can't turn me off... 27 00:03:11,764 --> 00:03:12,958 Hi, I'm Leela. 28 00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:15,244 Hi Leela, hi everyone. 29 00:03:15,245 --> 00:03:17,466 Sorry I've been taking up so much of Fry's time 30 00:03:17,467 --> 00:03:19,487 He's just so interesting! 31 00:03:20,122 --> 00:03:22,378 Have you seen how must cotton candy he can eat? 32 00:03:22,379 --> 00:03:25,692 Oh, my, yes. 5.0 pounds. 33 00:03:25,693 --> 00:03:28,759 That's why his blood is so good on pancakes. 34 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:30,519 Well, gotta scadoddleloodle. 35 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:32,825 We're taking a cattle cab to hugger bunny village. 36 00:03:41,142 --> 00:03:43,766 This lovey-dovey stuff is making me vomit 37 00:03:43,767 --> 00:03:46,352 from my salt water and fresh water stomachs. 38 00:03:46,353 --> 00:03:48,164 It is pretty sickening. 39 00:03:48,165 --> 00:03:51,430 No, the double vomit is a sign of joy! 40 00:03:51,431 --> 00:03:55,870 Fry told me how he and Coleen first met. 41 00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:05,875 So, how did you and Coleen first meet? 42 00:04:05,876 --> 00:04:07,177 Well... 43 00:04:09,746 --> 00:04:13,745 Something about seeing it in the Jumbletron makes it so much more real. 44 00:04:13,746 --> 00:04:15,405 It's so scary. 45 00:04:15,406 --> 00:04:19,943 What are you supposed to do when the whole Universe is coming to an end? 46 00:04:20,765 --> 00:04:21,838 I've a thought. 47 00:04:26,252 --> 00:04:28,800 This is gonna be juicy! 48 00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:29,987 What? Ah, man! 49 00:04:29,988 --> 00:04:32,239 Speaking of sappy love... 50 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:33,931 Wanna tell them, Kiffy? 51 00:04:33,932 --> 00:04:37,800 Yes, em... Amy and I have a big announcement. 52 00:04:37,810 --> 00:04:38,739 I, eh.. That is we... 53 00:04:38,740 --> 00:04:42,670 Oh, I'm just so excited! 54 00:04:42,671 --> 00:04:45,606 Kif has asked me to be his "Fonfon ru" 55 00:04:45,607 --> 00:04:47,250 (Zoidberg) Mazltov! 56 00:04:47,251 --> 00:04:49,180 What the hell does that mean? 57 00:04:49,181 --> 00:04:52,509 It means I've asked Amy to join my family. 58 00:04:52,510 --> 00:04:55,300 And you all invited to my family swamp. 59 00:04:55,310 --> 00:04:57,561 For our Fonfon rubok ceremony. 60 00:04:57,562 --> 00:05:01,842 If I had ever heard of it, it would have been what I'd always dreamed of. 61 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:05,648 Oh, oh, and the parents will be meeting for the first time ever. 62 00:05:05,649 --> 00:05:09,875 That's even more awkward than Fry's two bimbos meeting each other 63 00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:11,374 Count me in! 64 00:05:41,446 --> 00:05:43,782 WONG / KROKERFONFON RUBOK CEREMONY 65 00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:55,810 Hello, Mr and Mrs Wong, I'm too excited 66 00:05:55,811 --> 00:05:58,117 that we're all about to be joining the single family. 67 00:05:58,118 --> 00:05:59,808 You're trapped by our money. 68 00:05:59,809 --> 00:06:03,561 Kif's parents come later, we have to stand around in swarm 69 00:06:03,562 --> 00:06:06,132 getting eaten alive by damn bugs. 70 00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:10,768 Mrs Wong, no! The last stage of my species' life cycle 71 00:06:10,769 --> 00:06:12,731 is a colony of flying hookworms. 72 00:06:12,732 --> 00:06:15,238 You've just squashed a part of my father. 73 00:06:17,864 --> 00:06:19,249 Welcome! 74 00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:22,419 Sorry. I guess you got plenty of bugs to spare, huh? 75 00:06:22,420 --> 00:06:24,676 That was my left testicle. 76 00:06:24,677 --> 00:06:28,915 And the awkwardmeter goes up another notch. 77 00:06:32,386 --> 00:06:37,280 Wow, Coleen. You look so beautiful in a light of swamp gas. 78 00:06:37,290 --> 00:06:39,471 Thanks. This is really fun. 79 00:06:39,472 --> 00:06:42,930 I love going to exotic worlds and getting hammered 80 00:06:42,931 --> 00:06:44,125 Me too! 81 00:06:44,126 --> 00:06:46,550 Two more Harvey Wallclimbers. 82 00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:00,689 Leela, I can't help with notice you're unescorted. 83 00:07:00,690 --> 00:07:04,262 Mind I escort you behind that bush for the next five minutes-e? 84 00:07:04,263 --> 00:07:06,554 Nothing would revolve me more. 85 00:07:06,555 --> 00:07:08,576 Then how about that shrub-e. 86 00:07:10,226 --> 00:07:12,680 Oh! Oh! Rubok is begun. 87 00:07:17,872 --> 00:07:21,980 I am the Grand Priestess. 88 00:07:21,990 --> 00:07:24,920 Aren't you also The Grand Midwife? 89 00:07:24,930 --> 00:07:28,102 And The Grand Lunchlady, I work five jobs, all Grand. 90 00:07:28,103 --> 00:07:36,630 Kif, of the clan Kroker, please transcend the Rubok at long with your Fonfon smismaroo. 91 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:37,262 Eh, what? 92 00:07:37,263 --> 00:07:38,506 Get in the mud! 93 00:07:39,575 --> 00:07:44,805 This mud is a petroleum from a billion generation of Kif's ancestors. 94 00:07:44,806 --> 00:07:47,432 As you become one with the ooze. 95 00:07:47,433 --> 00:07:50,204 So you become one with the clan Kroker. 96 00:07:57,973 --> 00:08:01,647 Oh Kif. It's like a movie with this happening in it. 97 00:08:07,486 --> 00:08:09,694 It the best man present? 98 00:08:09,695 --> 00:08:11,614 Guilty as charged. 99 00:08:11,615 --> 00:08:13,711 Kindly hose the couple. 100 00:08:21,386 --> 00:08:24,232 As it was, so it is. 101 00:08:24,233 --> 00:08:26,842 You may now eat the snake. 102 00:08:27,873 --> 00:08:30,466 If you so choose. 103 00:08:31,125 --> 00:08:33,728 It's not part of the ceremony, I just have an extra snake. 104 00:08:33,729 --> 00:08:38,650 Rubok is complete, throw the bouquet! 105 00:08:50,474 --> 00:08:52,255 Are you gonna eat that? 106 00:08:55,261 --> 00:08:56,729 ROBOT ARMS APTS. 107 00:08:59,930 --> 00:09:01,573 BARB-O-MITE 108 00:09:04,302 --> 00:09:07,572 Fry! Run! Run! Get over here, Oh my God, oh my God! 109 00:09:07,573 --> 00:09:08,497 What, what is it? 110 00:09:08,498 --> 00:09:10,668 Shut up already, Calculon's on TV! 111 00:09:10,669 --> 00:09:15,481 I beg you, Calculon, don't ring that door chime! 112 00:09:15,482 --> 00:09:18,155 I have no choice, Monique. 113 00:09:18,155 --> 00:09:21,346 Wherever the blackmailer lives, he lives behind this hideous... 114 00:09:21,347 --> 00:09:25,101 And strangely familiar door. 115 00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:29,613 Calculon residence. Oh hello Mr. Calculon. 116 00:09:29,614 --> 00:09:32,812 Son of a bit! This is my house! 117 00:09:32,813 --> 00:09:36,823 But that means I'm blackmailing myself! 118 00:09:36,824 --> 00:09:38,954 Why didn't you tell me, Monique! 119 00:09:38,955 --> 00:09:41,991 I tried but I couldn't. Oh Calculon, 120 00:09:41,992 --> 00:09:45,921 I'm afraid you have a fourth personality the other three don't know about. 121 00:09:45,922 --> 00:09:47,516 And it and I... 122 00:09:47,517 --> 00:09:48,967 ..are lovers! 123 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:54,158 How's Calculon is going to take this, Fry? 124 00:09:54,159 --> 00:09:56,719 Expecially after that humiliating tennis tournament. 125 00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:58,631 Fry? 126 00:09:58,632 --> 00:10:02,126 Do not, Bender. Tonight's my big day with Coleen, I gotta run. 127 00:10:02,127 --> 00:10:07,900 But me and you like to watch together. Look, I got you cabbage to snack on. 128 00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:09,149 Humans like cabbage, right? 129 00:10:20,254 --> 00:10:22,851 ST. ASIMOV'S DAY FESTIVAL 130 00:10:24,389 --> 00:10:27,614 Step right up to the 2D tunnel of love! 131 00:10:27,615 --> 00:10:32,166 Not 1 not 3 but 2 glorious dimensions for the price of a single ticket. 132 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:35,684 Keep your hands in a cart, shut up and have fun. 133 00:10:39,418 --> 00:10:42,503 Wow, you're even more beautiful in 2D. 134 00:10:42,504 --> 00:10:46,234 I do. But from your perspective I'm just a line segment. 135 00:10:46,235 --> 00:10:48,303 A really hot line segment. 136 00:10:48,304 --> 00:10:52,887 So listen, sweety pie. I was thinking maybe we should take this to the next step. 137 00:10:52,888 --> 00:10:54,102 Oh really? 138 00:10:54,103 --> 00:10:58,289 Yes. Coleen... 139 00:11:01,690 --> 00:11:04,100 Would you be moved in by me? 140 00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:07,900 (Everyone) This is great! Hooray! 141 00:11:08,112 --> 00:11:10,829 You're moving in with with her? Why can't she move in with us? 142 00:11:10,830 --> 00:11:13,320 I can just crawl up under the foot of the bed. 143 00:11:14,903 --> 00:11:16,665 Listen up, everyone! 144 00:11:16,666 --> 00:11:21,430 I know you've all been extremely worried about the cosmic anomaly. 145 00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:22,800 Know what? Alright. 146 00:11:22,801 --> 00:11:28,808 There's good news. We're all going to learn more about it at the scientific conference. 147 00:11:38,126 --> 00:11:40,676 INSTITUTE FOR ADVANCED BOOK LEARNIN' 148 00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:49,279 Welcome. I'm the pickled head of Stephen Hawking 149 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:51,140 on a way cool rocket. 150 00:11:51,150 --> 00:11:57,514 "Black Hole" Hawking? Wow! If I knew I was gonna meet you, I would have done something with my hair. 151 00:11:57,515 --> 00:11:59,348 You should have. 152 00:11:59,349 --> 00:12:05,648 And conclusion: I understand nothing about the anomaly after cashing a huge cheque I've got for writing a book about it. 153 00:12:10,734 --> 00:12:20,720 I know this anomaly looks terrifying, but as scientists is it not ours own duty to seek out knowledge? Even at the cost of our very lives? 154 00:12:20,721 --> 00:12:21,763 No. 155 00:12:21,764 --> 00:12:26,700 I say you must mount an expedition to the anomaly forthwith! 156 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:27,810 I agree! 157 00:12:27,811 --> 00:12:29,125 Wernstrom! 158 00:12:29,126 --> 00:12:33,721 Professor Farnswoth is correct. Only a manned mission can... 159 00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:37,882 Don't listen to that cracked pot! 160 00:12:37,883 --> 00:12:39,770 But I'm agreeing with you! 161 00:12:39,780 --> 00:12:42,369 I'll make you eat those words you moron! 162 00:12:44,423 --> 00:12:50,759 I volunteer to lead the expedition, I have a squad of graduate students eager to risk their lives for a letter of recommendation. 163 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:58,270 Your squad sucks bosons! My team is twice as qualified and three times as expendable! 164 00:12:58,271 --> 00:12:59,462 Yeah! 165 00:12:59,463 --> 00:13:02,992 Oh, tough talk from someone with only one fields medal. 166 00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:08,752 Wernstrom, I... 167 00:13:12,148 --> 00:13:18,509 I didn't know I could do that. Now quiet down and settle this like men of science. 168 00:13:18,510 --> 00:13:20,569 Very well. 169 00:13:20,570 --> 00:13:21,352 DEATHBALL ARENA 170 00:13:21,353 --> 00:13:23,750 Let Deathball begin! 171 00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:51,967 Go Planet Express! 172 00:13:51,968 --> 00:13:53,799 Go even more my team! 173 00:14:03,580 --> 00:14:05,461 Leela, header! 174 00:14:23,580 --> 00:14:25,461 Who-hoo, Bust those balls! 175 00:14:30,785 --> 00:14:33,860 Hooray, we're equally good! 176 00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:43,145 Come on, Bender, your gandmother can push harder than that. 177 00:14:43,146 --> 00:14:46,403 No crap! My mother was a bulldozer. 178 00:15:13,941 --> 00:15:18,516 And thus metal man defeated meat men. The end. 179 00:15:20,276 --> 00:15:21,125 Come in, winner. 180 00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:25,370 Come in, looser. 181 00:15:27,479 --> 00:15:29,245 Colleen, what are you doing? 182 00:15:29,696 --> 00:15:30,899 My face is over here. 183 00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:32,617 This is my boyfriend, silly. 184 00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:34,750 I thought I was your boyfriend. 185 00:15:35,381 --> 00:15:35,607 You are. 186 00:15:35,814 --> 00:15:37,838 Well how can you have two boyfriends? 187 00:15:37,932 --> 00:15:39,734 Oh, I dont. I have five. 188 00:15:40,210 --> 00:15:43,324 Fry, meet Chew, Bold and Dulu and Shlomo. 189 00:15:46,114 --> 00:15:48,946 Shlomo and Indulu will help move your stuff to my apartments tonight. 190 00:15:49,711 --> 00:15:51,742 Welcome to the relationship, buddy. 191 00:15:55,569 --> 00:15:57,519 Thats my butterscotch! 192 00:16:03,301 --> 00:16:08,445 Congratulations, Deathballers! We won the right to explore the anomaly. 193 00:16:08,899 --> 00:16:11,993 What? I thought I was playing for my freedom. 194 00:16:11,994 --> 00:16:13,149 Noo. 195 00:16:15,250 --> 00:16:20,640 Now, I've often said good news when sending you on the mission of extreem danger. 196 00:16:20,641 --> 00:16:26,808 So when I said this anomaly is dangerous you can't imagine how dangerous I really think it is. 197 00:16:27,197 --> 00:16:28,295 Not dangerous at all? 198 00:16:28,605 --> 00:16:30,700 Yeah, actually quite dangerous indeed. 199 00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:32,456 Oh, that is quite dangerous. 200 00:16:32,553 --> 00:16:33,912 Indeed. 201 00:16:33,913 --> 00:16:38,582 Now stop, you shillyshallier. Prep the ship inlainers for you free fly coffee 202 00:16:39,512 --> 00:16:42,797 Warning. The ano you about to enjoy is extremely hot. 203 00:16:46,950 --> 00:16:50,986 I don't know what to do, Lila. Should I moving with Colleen and her four other boyfriends? 204 00:16:50,987 --> 00:16:53,856 What you gonna do? Sleep in big pile like hamsters? 205 00:16:54,450 --> 00:16:58,840 No, it's not like that. Everyone gets they own room and shelf and refrigerator. 206 00:16:59,130 --> 00:17:04,655 Take the deal, Fry. If it's delicious cake, isn't it better to hug one slice then not all? 207 00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:11,690 Even if four other guys eatin four other slices and all roll frosting their sweaty naked bodies all against the cake. 208 00:17:11,725 --> 00:17:17,863 Only one thing matters, Fry. Do you really love Colleen, like I love my little Squeezl? 209 00:17:20,329 --> 00:17:22,635 Yeah. I do love her. 210 00:17:22,636 --> 00:17:24,887 Then things will work out. 211 00:17:28,284 --> 00:17:29,929 Double espresso for Phillip Fry. 212 00:17:30,239 --> 00:17:34,163 Sorry, I'm not goin' on the mission. I'm movin' in with Colleen. 213 00:17:35,881 --> 00:17:36,963 I will just take that to go. 214 00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:11,605 Yeeey. Welcome to your new home. 215 00:18:12,368 --> 00:18:18,100 Thanks Colleen. And listen, I'm sorry i got jealous before. I'm just happy to be here with you. 216 00:18:19,289 --> 00:18:20,979 Want a slice of delicious cake? 217 00:18:29,416 --> 00:18:31,490 The anomaly. 218 00:18:31,916 --> 00:18:34,192 It is so .. anomalous. 219 00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:37,429 I'm feeling dread deep in my dreads. 220 00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:39,560 Wernstrom! 221 00:18:39,225 --> 00:18:43,665 Yes. And I'm afraid I have distrubing news about anomaly, you see. 222 00:18:43,716 --> 00:18:48,275 How did you get this number. Hermes hang up on in the rudest possible manner. 223 00:18:48,485 --> 00:18:49,172 Yes, sir. 224 00:18:51,329 --> 00:18:53,460 No, not the crack slit! 225 00:19:04,295 --> 00:19:13,798 Ah, my live rocks. I've got good wine, five sweethearts and today I was promoted to Chief of Police. 226 00:19:14,308 --> 00:19:15,527 Here is to you. 227 00:19:15,825 --> 00:19:16,289 Me? 228 00:19:16,679 --> 00:19:19,304 No, Colleen. I'm makin' her romantic toast. 229 00:19:19,485 --> 00:19:19,966 Sorry. 230 00:19:20,312 --> 00:19:20,967 You have the most beautiful eyes - Thank you. 231 00:19:23,422 --> 00:19:24,785 I'm not talking to you. 232 00:19:25,300 --> 00:19:25,786 Then I'm not talking to you either. 233 00:19:26,559 --> 00:19:29,674 Will everyone be quiet a little? I'm wanna hear what he got to say. 234 00:19:29,882 --> 00:19:30,408 Thank you. 235 00:19:30,699 --> 00:19:35,300 Not you, you farshtinkener. You just think he likes caveman from the stupid ages. 236 00:19:35,277 --> 00:19:38,357 Oh, look who is talking. You just here because she got matsu-fever. 237 00:19:38,906 --> 00:19:41,748 So, what the explanation for you? Morron-fever? 238 00:19:42,318 --> 00:19:50,540 Enough, all of you. I love you. Most people in this world don't have what we have.Let's just be gratefull, okay? 239 00:19:53,399 --> 00:19:56,976 So, ah, Colleen, you look really nice. 240 00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:58,953 Oh, thanks, I got just dress-up for my date. 241 00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:01,438 There here is. Don't w? up. 242 00:20:04,580 --> 00:20:09,432 That's it. I thought I was okay with this, but I'm not. I'm breaking up with you. 243 00:20:15,398 --> 00:20:16,162 Me? 244 00:20:29,636 --> 00:20:33,377 Why we risking our lives? Can we just send a robotic drone? 245 00:20:34,736 --> 00:20:36,363 What's your way looking on me for? 246 00:20:38,897 --> 00:20:44,220 Uhh, Let's send a robot to exploit it, cause you always can buy another one for 20 bucks. 247 00:20:44,713 --> 00:20:45,670 Really? 248 00:20:45,469 --> 00:20:48,119 Well, it's 30 bucks in that tendollar mail-in rebate. 249 00:20:48,585 --> 00:20:53,952 When league of robots hear about this, they won't be pleased. All your pay, my darling. 250 00:20:54,603 --> 00:20:59,824 League of robots does not exist, teenmon. It's just a cartoon for babies. 251 00:21:00,213 --> 00:21:06,323 Oh yeah? Then how can when I was a kid, I have all stick-a-buck with them.Answer that with your patience logic. 252 00:21:22,396 --> 00:21:26,781 Bender to crew: I have reached the gateway to another universe. 253 00:21:26,782 --> 00:21:33,600 I feel awed and strangely humbled by the momentous solemnity of this occasion. 254 00:21:34,229 --> 00:21:35,282 Hey, other universe. 255 00:21:35,282 --> 00:21:36,981 BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS. 256 00:21:49,499 --> 00:21:54,351 I can't remember anything except the blinding light and searing ass pain. 257 00:21:54,514 --> 00:21:56,190 I've better check my podbox. 258 00:21:57,203 --> 00:22:02,460 The light.. it's blinding. And a ass pain.. it's searing. 259 00:22:02,311 --> 00:22:03,422 So that's what happen. 260 00:22:03,761 --> 00:22:06,961 Hey, Bender, look who is here to cheer you up. 261 00:22:06,897 --> 00:22:09,180 I don't need cheering up, I'm perfectly. 262 00:22:09,478 --> 00:22:11,559 Greetings, sick fan. 263 00:22:12,896 --> 00:22:14,698 TV's Calculon. 264 00:22:18,380 --> 00:22:21,902 You poor mangled husk of what was once a robot. 265 00:22:21,902 --> 00:22:30,744 What right have fate to pluck a sweet dimple-cheeked mechanism in the flower of his youth ...and....scene. 266 00:22:31,613 --> 00:22:33,536 There, it was some free acting for you. 267 00:22:33,817 --> 00:22:36,772 To see acting like that you'd have to sit through a tampon commercial. 268 00:22:36,773 --> 00:22:38,644 That fulfills my community service, right? 269 00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:43,253 Charges of running me over, hereby, dismissed. 270 00:22:52,712 --> 00:22:56,957 Where did we go wrong, Fry? We were meeted to be together. 271 00:22:58,479 --> 00:23:02,202 I'm freezin my tohes up, here. - Just a second, honey. 272 00:23:39,790 --> 00:23:40,200 I'm back, idiots. 273 00:23:41,695 --> 00:23:43,667 You look wonderful, robot. 274 00:23:44,220 --> 00:23:48,807 I wish I could afford to go to the hospital. I'm dreadfully sick. 275 00:23:51,355 --> 00:23:56,620 I feel great, and I own it all to Calculon, his visit really inspire me. 276 00:23:56,294 --> 00:23:58,364 I finally know what I wanna be when I grown up. 277 00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:01,737 You want call star in this TV show, like that time you already did that? 278 00:24:02,114 --> 00:24:04,357 No. I can be a stalker. 279 00:24:04,449 --> 00:24:07,532 Thats not really a career, more a felony. 280 00:24:07,597 --> 00:24:09,921 Man, I will stalking brains out. 281 00:24:10,572 --> 00:24:14,000 Oh, big news on the Calculon Fan-site. There was flashmob heading to his plastic surgery office. 282 00:24:18,876 --> 00:24:21,200 There, that's is biggest I can make it. 283 00:24:21,347 --> 00:24:24,371 But I caution you. It looks completely unrealistic. 284 00:24:24,269 --> 00:24:27,779 You let me worry about it, just do you job. 285 00:24:28,930 --> 00:24:30,596 Very well, will be using your signature? 286 00:24:30,771 --> 00:24:31,985 No, cash, I've don't want to be described. 287 00:24:35,415 --> 00:24:36,534 Oh god, no. 288 00:24:38,370 --> 00:24:40,710 Oh boy, oh boy, he is here. 289 00:24:40,120 --> 00:24:43,295 Calculon, I love you, have my baby. 290 00:24:43,910 --> 00:24:45,139 Fuck you, lunatic. 291 00:24:45,533 --> 00:24:47,900 He touched me! 292 00:24:47,558 --> 00:24:48,297 Oh, sign my ass. 293 00:25:00,785 --> 00:25:04,980 Emergency, emergency, everyone to the climatorium. 294 00:25:07,487 --> 00:25:12,861 Lila, smell this. - Can I wipe it off, first? - No time, woman, no time. 295 00:25:14,416 --> 00:25:19,863 Hmm, smells like angel-dust. - Exactly, that a discontinious magnific field. 296 00:25:20,144 --> 00:25:24,300 Oh, Wernstrom t? warn me, but I was too damn stubborn. 297 00:25:24,617 --> 00:25:28,230 Hermes get Wernstrom on the line, so I can apologise. 298 00:25:35,169 --> 00:25:37,928 The Wernstrom speaking. - Tell him, I'm not here. 299 00:25:38,478 --> 00:25:40,627 - Professor. - Oh, very well. 300 00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:44,536 Wernstrom, I've been a vain glorious fool. 301 00:25:44,536 --> 00:25:52,282 If you could find ? in you heart, to forgive me, your tine little heart, would you consider a scientific collaboration? 302 00:25:52,283 --> 00:25:55,630 Sir, I've been honored. 303 00:25:58,940 --> 00:26:05,558 As I attempted to warn you, the lose of electromagnetism changes abroadly at the anomaly. Observe. 304 00:26:05,774 --> 00:26:07,678 Play time is fun time. 305 00:26:07,679 --> 00:26:09,760 Madness time. 306 00:26:11,198 --> 00:26:17,490 My heavens. If only I did heared you warning, I did know that it's impossible to cross the barier. 307 00:26:17,454 --> 00:26:22,403 But know what happens when I instead throw this laboratory koala. 308 00:26:25,242 --> 00:26:26,997 It's passed through unharmed. 309 00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:33,750 So, living beings can enter the other universe but electrical devices can't? 310 00:26:33,474 --> 00:26:38,433 My hypothesis is exactly. - Then we must mount the second expedition without delay. 311 00:26:38,626 --> 00:26:41,383 Right after we blow up more robots. - Agreed. 312 00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:47,507 Play time is fun time. 313 00:26:54,434 --> 00:26:57,249 Who are you? - Bender, your biggest fan. 314 00:26:57,661 --> 00:27:00,830 Are you going to murder me? - Unlikely. 315 00:27:00,830 --> 00:27:04,434 In my mind we are friends. This diaramma proofs, see. 316 00:27:05,433 --> 00:27:10,509 So you derangement is impressive. I'm pointin you my official stalker. 317 00:27:10,870 --> 00:27:14,328 You shoudn't be disappointed. Pleased dreams. 318 00:27:24,986 --> 00:27:32,903 And now when I've teamed up with my friend, Dr. Wernstrom.I feel certainly we can successfully penetrate the other universe. 319 00:27:33,398 --> 00:27:38,629 It's the greatest scientifical opportunity since you yourself sent men to the Moon in 1961. 320 00:27:38,890 --> 00:27:44,215 I always regret of that. Nothing up there, but dried rocks and ?? 321 00:27:44,992 --> 00:27:48,865 But.. - You always coast intellectuals hide your chance, now beat it. 322 00:27:48,866 --> 00:27:51,761 From here all in this is a military matter. 323 00:27:56,659 --> 00:28:02,726 People of the Universe. Please, welcome our brigadeer, Zapp Brannigan. 324 00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:09,315 Thank you, thank you. Well deserved. 325 00:28:09,675 --> 00:28:11,757 Kif, stand in that hole, so I looked taller. 326 00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:22,553 Every since man first left his cave and meet a stranger with a different languageand new way of looking at things, the human race have had a dream. 327 00:28:22,992 --> 00:28:26,872 To kill him. So we don't have to learn his languages and new ways of looking at things. 328 00:28:30,621 --> 00:28:35,620 Give science a chance. Less invasions, more equations. 329 00:28:35,226 --> 00:28:39,904 Damn longhairs. Knock some sense into them, Chief O'Callaghan! - Yes, sir. 330 00:28:54,791 --> 00:29:00,303 I can't take it, Lila. I need to go away, far away. Forever. 331 00:29:00,304 --> 00:29:06,269 Ah, I know how you feel, Fry.The was times when I also feels like you need to go away. 332 00:29:10,851 --> 00:29:17,270 Be careful, my little teeny-greeny-weeny. - That's just the fungal infection. Oh, she is talking to you, Kif. 333 00:29:17,552 --> 00:29:20,154 Goodbye, my love. 334 00:29:34,706 --> 00:29:43,243 Wow, how can humans do all that fun stuff, this is exactly the s?? thing need to be handled by.. league of robots. 335 00:29:45,832 --> 00:29:50,675 Oh, thats adorable, Bender. You actually believe in league of robots? 336 00:29:50,676 --> 00:29:52,974 You mean, there really no such thing? 337 00:29:52,975 --> 00:29:58,258 Then who is there mean our justice when an outdated robot is knocked into the belt buckles? 338 00:29:58,653 --> 00:30:03,941 Who is there defend our honor when rude human brings a blast to robovirgin's chick? 339 00:30:04,660 --> 00:30:04,937 No one. 340 00:30:28,399 --> 00:30:34,689 Now that I know robots are worthless, with no league of robots to protect us from the fleshy menace known as men, 341 00:30:34,690 --> 00:30:41,822 I have resolved to kill myself. In lieu of flowers please beat yourselves in the face with rusty chains. 342 00:30:41,823 --> 00:30:43,729 Your friend, Bender. 343 00:30:46,854 --> 00:30:48,747 Aw. 344 00:30:50,807 --> 00:30:55,492 SUICIDE BOOTH 345 00:30:55,493 --> 00:30:56,493 IN USE 346 00:31:02,525 --> 00:31:04,546 Please select mode of death 347 00:31:04,547 --> 00:31:06,245 Clumsy bludgening, please 348 00:31:06,246 --> 00:31:08,751 You have selected: clumsy bludgening. 349 00:31:08,752 --> 00:31:13,104 For an additional $10, would you like your eyes gooped out with a melon bowler? 350 00:31:13,105 --> 00:31:15,217 Ah, what the heck, I'll treat myself. 351 00:31:25,103 --> 00:31:26,618 LINT TRAP 352 00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:41,974 Enemy in range. Prepare to launch Universe-to-Universe missile. 353 00:31:41,975 --> 00:31:42,975 Preparing to launch UUM. 354 00:31:59,300 --> 00:32:04,467 Heeluva thing to send a universe to certain doom. Fun, though, makes a man feel big. 355 00:32:08,193 --> 00:32:10,793 Come on, come on, I didn't ask to die of boredom! 356 00:32:16,710 --> 00:32:19,657 You are now dead. Please take your receipt. 357 00:32:28,374 --> 00:32:30,627 What is it? What's happening? 358 00:32:32,474 --> 00:32:34,291 Kneel before the candle. 359 00:32:34,292 --> 00:32:36,179 Don't hurt me! I'll betray anyone! 360 00:32:36,180 --> 00:32:38,469 Bender Bending Rodrigues? 361 00:32:41,291 --> 00:32:43,731 Welcome to the League of Robots! 362 00:33:03,501 --> 00:33:05,164 Ready... 363 00:33:06,868 --> 00:33:08,806 And... 364 00:33:08,807 --> 00:33:11,700 FIRE 365 00:33:11,451 --> 00:33:12,400 Fi... 366 00:33:14,147 --> 00:33:16,708 Hehehe... Almost fooled you there. 367 00:33:17,979 --> 00:33:18,980 Fire! 368 00:33:21,774 --> 00:33:24,308 Missile jam. Missile jam. 369 00:33:24,309 --> 00:33:26,167 I heard you the first time, Francine! 370 00:33:26,168 --> 00:33:27,353 Sorry. 371 00:33:27,354 --> 00:33:30,512 Kiff, climb down there and unjam it, would you? Be a dear. 372 00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:33,244 And stop sighing so much. 373 00:33:38,199 --> 00:33:41,952 Tell us, Bender, are you worthy of membership in the league? 374 00:33:41,953 --> 00:33:44,478 Worthier than the average robot. 375 00:33:44,479 --> 00:33:45,738 Then prove it. 376 00:33:49,500 --> 00:33:50,910 Upon each step is a test. 377 00:33:50,911 --> 00:33:54,684 Ok, but if it's culturaly biased, I'm sueing your ass. 378 00:33:55,197 --> 00:33:58,745 Test number one. the test of the beer mug. 379 00:33:58,746 --> 00:34:00,154 Quite right, quite true. 380 00:34:00,155 --> 00:34:02,878 Drink the mug, drink the mug! 381 00:34:02,879 --> 00:34:05,413 I accept your challenge! 382 00:34:12,125 --> 00:34:14,160 The test of the flagon. 383 00:34:14,161 --> 00:34:17,173 Drink the flagon! Drink the flagon! 384 00:34:17,174 --> 00:34:20,372 Uh... Are all the tests here involve drinking? 385 00:34:20,373 --> 00:34:23,510 It never occured to me before, but... Yes. 386 00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:25,484 Whoo! Just like med school! 387 00:34:29,372 --> 00:34:30,717 Ready yet, Kiff? 388 00:34:30,718 --> 00:34:33,138 Just give me one more-- 389 00:34:36,924 --> 00:34:38,256 Oh no. 390 00:34:51,701 --> 00:34:56,121 The test of the infinitely priceless thousand year old brandy! 391 00:35:06,575 --> 00:35:09,216 Presenting our newest member. 392 00:35:11,598 --> 00:35:12,303 That's right, baby! 393 00:35:12,304 --> 00:35:13,304 ?HAW DIGGITY DAFFODILE?! 394 00:35:22,313 --> 00:35:27,877 And so, to everyone and everything I've ever known, I say my last goodbye. 395 00:35:29,509 --> 00:35:30,508 Hello. 396 00:35:30,509 --> 00:35:33,133 So, uhm, how are you, Fry? 397 00:35:33,134 --> 00:35:34,757 Pretty good. You? 398 00:35:34,758 --> 00:35:36,596 Well, uhm... Oh. 399 00:35:47,461 --> 00:35:50,724 Didity, didity, didity. 400 00:35:54,474 --> 00:35:58,407 Mmm... Kiff! Get over here! You've gotta try this! 401 00:36:04,210 --> 00:36:06,642 At least, Kiffy died quickly. 402 00:36:06,643 --> 00:36:12,857 Yes, but according to the Old Farmer's Wikipedia, the amazing thing about Kiff's species is that the remains 403 00:36:12,858 --> 00:36:15,978 continue suffering for up to six hours after death. 404 00:36:17,817 --> 00:36:20,440 That's so interesting. 405 00:36:21,353 --> 00:36:26,904 Don't ask where I was last night. For all you know I was at home. Perhaps, baking a strudel. 406 00:36:28,740 --> 00:36:30,952 What's her problem? Somebody died or something? 407 00:36:30,953 --> 00:36:32,439 Kiff's dead, bender. 408 00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:33,844 Nailed it! 409 00:36:44,721 --> 00:36:50,670 My condolences, Amy. Allow me to present you with the last known photo of lt. Crooker. 410 00:36:53,207 --> 00:36:57,583 We so sorry, Mr. & Mrs Crooker. Terrible shame about froggie. 411 00:36:57,584 --> 00:37:00,139 Thank you for your kind words. 412 00:37:01,388 --> 00:37:05,920 Yeah, yeah, real sad. Want a ?PERSPRAY? IT'S a new flavor. Tastes like pie. 413 00:37:09,731 --> 00:37:12,759 This is from the league of you-don't-need-to-know. 414 00:37:15,699 --> 00:37:18,635 I am the grand funeral director. 415 00:37:18,636 --> 00:37:20,308 Do you validate parking? 416 00:37:20,309 --> 00:37:25,378 It is always a terrible tragedy, when a Swarm outlives its own BORLBOID. 417 00:37:25,379 --> 00:37:32,857 So it is with great sorrow that I now commit the goo, that was once Kiff, to the petrolium of his ancestors. 418 00:37:37,648 --> 00:37:39,388 Whack the bottle! 419 00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:43,000 No! From the bottom! It works better! 420 00:37:44,829 --> 00:37:47,251 Just stick a butter knife in it! 421 00:37:50,566 --> 00:37:54,658 There. I got most of it. The burial is complete! 422 00:37:56,527 --> 00:38:01,856 I will now sing a sacred hymn. It's... not a part of the ceremony, just a little something that I wrote. 423 00:38:09,704 --> 00:38:11,354 Next! 424 00:38:13,296 --> 00:38:20,300 It may sound strange, but seeing kiff's mutilated remains poured into the mud made me really sad. 425 00:38:20,301 --> 00:38:22,412 Mutilation is never easy. 426 00:38:22,413 --> 00:38:25,284 I don't think I'll ever laugh again! 427 00:38:25,285 --> 00:38:30,355 Oh, you don't mean that. Love can surprise you with any time in your life. 428 00:38:31,473 --> 00:38:32,601 Surprise! 429 00:38:38,594 --> 00:38:41,414 Whoa. It kinda takes your breath away. 430 00:38:41,415 --> 00:38:45,486 OXYGEN SYSTEM FAILURE 431 00:38:47,500 --> 00:38:49,990 FULCRUM COUNTY PRISMFOR CONCERNED SCIENTISTS 432 00:38:51,812 --> 00:38:55,431 Look alive, death row. YOUR ASS HAS GOT A VISITOR. 433 00:38:55,432 --> 00:38:57,304 A regular or conjugal? 434 00:38:57,305 --> 00:38:59,200 Seemed like a freak to me. 435 00:38:59,201 --> 00:39:03,776 The guard operating the X-ray machine came down with a sudden case of broken neck. 436 00:39:03,777 --> 00:39:06,944 So I was able to bring you that delicious cake you wanted. 437 00:39:09,394 --> 00:39:13,640 I don't understand. Are you winking or blinking? 438 00:39:14,287 --> 00:39:15,460 Hang on a second. 439 00:39:17,642 --> 00:39:18,792 Got it! 440 00:39:19,337 --> 00:39:22,592 HORSE REPAIR 441 00:39:26,203 --> 00:39:29,866 Ahhh... yes. I'm here to repair my horse? 442 00:39:29,867 --> 00:39:33,360 Is the horse's name... Hot beans? 443 00:39:33,361 --> 00:39:35,289 No! ...I mean... Yes. 444 00:39:41,831 --> 00:39:48,104 So it seems that human have been rather injured by a knife, and his... his... blood, you know. 445 00:39:48,105 --> 00:39:49,487 I think that's what they call it. 446 00:39:49,488 --> 00:39:51,416 Quite correct, sir, bluther on. 447 00:39:51,417 --> 00:39:58,791 As it drained away, he said "take me to a doc", no doubt he intended to say "doctor", 448 00:39:58,792 --> 00:40:02,885 but he was unable to complete his thought, you see, being... as he had died. 449 00:40:02,886 --> 00:40:08,773 So taking him out his world, we dragged his corpse to the waterfront, where upon, ?THE SECRETS WENT APARTMENT?. 450 00:40:10,823 --> 00:40:12,911 Humans are dumb and they die easy! 451 00:40:12,912 --> 00:40:14,160 Quite! 452 00:40:14,161 --> 00:40:18,910 Speaking of humans, have I shown you my new monocle? Cost me a king's ransom! 453 00:40:18,911 --> 00:40:20,720 Made from a king, don't you know. 454 00:40:20,721 --> 00:40:23,743 Ooooh, how repulsively decable. 455 00:40:23,744 --> 00:40:29,300 Yes, but more importantly, it allows me to see the smiling faces of my children 456 00:40:29,310 --> 00:40:32,798 for the first time since I lost my vision in that horrible banking accident. 457 00:40:32,799 --> 00:40:35,174 May I see that for a second? 458 00:40:35,175 --> 00:40:38,153 My, but that's interesting. 459 00:40:42,623 --> 00:40:43,593 I'm blind! 460 00:40:43,594 --> 00:40:48,215 My god, Bender! This is a civilised organisation, the rules specificly-- 461 00:40:48,216 --> 00:40:50,559 May I complete the order at present, Calculon? 462 00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:51,583 Must you? 463 00:40:51,584 --> 00:40:57,920 Yes. Law specificly states that no human may set foot in the League of Robots. 464 00:40:57,930 --> 00:41:00,510 If he has a human part - he's part human. 465 00:41:00,511 --> 00:41:08,133 Oooh, my. Well, I, too, have a human part I'd like to expell, and I plan to enjoy the experience. tata! 466 00:41:08,134 --> 00:41:13,600 Bender. You've rigidly apply the law with no regard for it's intent. 467 00:41:13,610 --> 00:41:16,435 Well done! You'll go far in this organisation! 468 00:41:16,436 --> 00:41:18,627 Ah, you're just getting to know Bender! 469 00:41:41,460 --> 00:41:45,384 Curses! If we could only turn up the gain we could smell clear through to the other universe! 470 00:41:45,385 --> 00:41:48,551 But we can't adjust without a screwdriver! 471 00:41:48,552 --> 00:41:52,728 Wait a moment. I think I was just shanked with a screwdriver! 472 00:41:55,574 --> 00:41:56,666 Yes! 473 00:41:56,667 --> 00:42:03,254 A little more. A lttle less. Heavens TOMIDIOROIDS! Smell this. 474 00:42:04,529 --> 00:42:06,477 Holy mother of invention! 475 00:42:06,478 --> 00:42:09,590 We must notify the President at once! 476 00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:14,465 But how can we? Oh, I wish, I wish we weren't in prison. 477 00:42:17,262 --> 00:42:18,684 Posussu! 478 00:42:18,685 --> 00:42:22,687 You have one wish left, professor. 479 00:42:40,119 --> 00:42:41,536 I think I got'em. 480 00:42:41,537 --> 00:42:45,550 Uh-uh. hat's what you get for lettin' your guard down. 481 00:42:47,203 --> 00:42:55,685 Sometimes. always. Never. You again! This better be damned important. I'm writing a medal of the Cosmo survey. 482 00:42:55,686 --> 00:43:02,421 You'll want to hear this, Mr. President. For we have sniffed where no man has sniffed before! 483 00:43:36,263 --> 00:43:38,149 Look! Arm in the sky! 484 00:43:38,150 --> 00:43:39,150 It's a bird! 485 00:43:39,151 --> 00:43:40,151 It's a plane! 486 00:43:40,152 --> 00:43:42,303 I am so outta here! 487 00:43:46,494 --> 00:43:47,950 Incoming call from Mars. 488 00:43:49,092 --> 00:43:50,902 Hello. 489 00:43:50,903 --> 00:43:51,949 Why you so sad, Amy? 490 00:43:51,950 --> 00:43:54,760 My husband died, Mom. 491 00:43:54,770 --> 00:44:01,212 Yeah, yeah, snap outta that already. Noone likes a widow. Oh, wait. Hang on, some got in the screen d-- 492 00:44:05,225 --> 00:44:08,631 Collect call from Decapod 10. Will you pay for caller? 493 00:44:08,632 --> 00:44:14,814 No! Uncle Zoid. What's new? You're still doing theater for the blind and deaf? 494 00:44:14,815 --> 00:44:23,168 Eh, screw them. I've got a part in the fancy DVD movie.It's only one line, but I'm gonna ham it up like they wouldn't believe! 495 00:44:23,169 --> 00:44:29,239 Oi! COMMIE CINEMA COMMITE TO BE CHESTIZED IN SUCH A CRAZY MANNER! 496 00:44:30,795 --> 00:44:33,766 Hello? Hello? Call me back on my shell phone! 497 00:44:39,928 --> 00:44:45,677 Captain's log. Started the year of the Tiger. The battle has been bravely fought. 498 00:44:45,678 --> 00:44:52,389 Suffering of our troops - beyond measure. But the alien is invulnerable and our defeat - inevitable. 499 00:44:52,390 --> 00:44:58,436 That much is obvious even for my remote command post here, at the Time Square Applebees. 500 00:45:00,410 --> 00:45:03,393 Waiter! Take this fried Mozzarella to the kitchen and fry it some more! 501 00:45:10,459 --> 00:45:13,771 The tentacles coming towards Earth and there's no stopping it. 502 00:45:13,772 --> 00:45:16,691 King Kong is too old to save us this time. 503 00:45:19,583 --> 00:45:21,477 We have only one hope, Mr. President. 504 00:45:21,478 --> 00:45:25,133 We must encase the entire planet in a protective sphere 505 00:45:25,134 --> 00:45:28,230 of my patented ultra hard Dimondium! 506 00:45:28,231 --> 00:45:32,889 Dimondium? Fe! I can gum through through that with my dentures behind my back. 507 00:45:32,890 --> 00:45:36,670 My trademark Dimondilium is twice as hard! 508 00:45:36,680 --> 00:45:37,860 Twice as hard is your head. 509 00:45:37,861 --> 00:45:40,123 Which makes it still fairly soft. 510 00:45:40,124 --> 00:45:44,671 Now look here, you, point dexters, I don't care how you decide, just decide! 511 00:45:45,410 --> 00:45:47,572 DEATHBALL ARENA 512 00:45:47,573 --> 00:45:50,224 Dimondilium it is. 513 00:45:50,225 --> 00:45:52,181 MEN WORKING IN SPACE 514 00:45:59,427 --> 00:46:00,349 LEAGUE OF ROBOTS 515 00:46:00,350 --> 00:46:04,935 So, eh, Calculon. I know I'm a new guy and eh.. pardon my ignorance, but-- 516 00:46:04,936 --> 00:46:06,342 When do we kill all humans? 517 00:46:06,343 --> 00:46:09,129 - Never.- But... What about the motto? 518 00:46:09,130 --> 00:46:10,955 KILL ALL HUMANS!- Doesn't it mean anything? 519 00:46:10,956 --> 00:46:15,700 Ha-ha-ha-ha, Oh Bender, your idealism is heartwarming, but 520 00:46:15,701 --> 00:46:20,284 The League of Robots hasn't killed a human in over an eight hundred years. 521 00:46:20,285 --> 00:46:22,566 And that was a very sick girlscout. 522 00:46:24,618 --> 00:46:27,817 Sweet innocent Bender. 523 00:46:37,809 --> 00:46:42,791 I declare my inpenetrable Dimondilium sphere complete! 524 00:46:44,854 --> 00:46:46,847 Now look here, Wernstrom. 525 00:46:46,848 --> 00:46:50,119 You're making it sound like the sphere was your idea. 526 00:46:50,120 --> 00:46:51,826 When we both know-- 527 00:46:53,870 --> 00:46:57,823 It was! All credit to my collegue Ogden Wernstrom! 528 00:47:02,117 --> 00:47:03,502 It's horrible! 529 00:47:04,603 --> 00:47:05,974 SPACE FARM INSURANCE 530 00:47:09,290 --> 00:47:11,991 I can't make it. Go on without me! 531 00:47:11,992 --> 00:47:13,363 I'm trying! 532 00:47:14,613 --> 00:47:15,853 Go on without me faster! 533 00:47:40,340 --> 00:47:43,196 Sweet squid of Madrid! The tentacle got Fry! 534 00:47:43,197 --> 00:47:46,197 Quick, hang me my machete, we can still save his legs! 535 00:47:49,507 --> 00:47:50,859 Silence! 536 00:47:53,174 --> 00:47:56,177 I have travelled far and seen deep. 537 00:47:56,178 --> 00:48:00,512 And I have come to know the purpose of our existence. 538 00:48:00,513 --> 00:48:01,740 Finally! 539 00:48:01,741 --> 00:48:04,930 Thou shalt love the tentacle! 540 00:48:07,730 --> 00:48:09,344 Well at least we don't have to love one another. 541 00:48:13,979 --> 00:48:18,103 A new age has begun! The age of the Tentacle! 542 00:48:20,536 --> 00:48:23,797 Open your necks and receive the loves! 543 00:48:30,797 --> 00:48:33,487 - Oh, my neck!- Oh, my neck! 544 00:48:33,488 --> 00:48:36,413 My neck feels perfectly... Oh, my neck! 545 00:48:39,271 --> 00:48:41,631 Oh, help me 546 00:48:42,322 --> 00:48:44,294 Say... I love the Tentacle. 547 00:48:45,820 --> 00:48:47,508 I also love the neck of my jigger. 548 00:49:00,651 --> 00:49:02,691 Hooray, Zoidberg escaped! 549 00:49:03,864 --> 00:49:06,531 Hooray, Zoidberg loves the Tentacle! 550 00:49:10,197 --> 00:49:11,359 It got Zoidberg! 551 00:49:12,248 --> 00:49:15,458 Oh, I never knew how much I miss him until he was gone. 552 00:49:15,459 --> 00:49:17,978 Not that much, as it turns out. 553 00:49:19,871 --> 00:49:25,430 The essay of the Tentacle. Therely now shalt rejoice in the House of the Tentacle. 554 00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:28,317 Fry, listen to yourself. You've been brainwashed. 555 00:49:28,318 --> 00:49:32,680 Oh, I'm just trying to fit my diction to importance of what I'm saying. 556 00:49:32,690 --> 00:49:33,790 Please, let me speak. 557 00:49:34,566 --> 00:49:35,417 I'm listening. 558 00:49:35,418 --> 00:49:37,566 Don't be afraid of the Tentacle, Leela. 559 00:49:37,567 --> 00:49:40,150 It's beautiful, and it loves me. 560 00:49:40,151 --> 00:49:41,853 And I love it. 561 00:49:41,854 --> 00:49:44,423 Oh, that's so nice for both of you. 562 00:49:44,424 --> 00:49:49,431 I know it may seem strange that i have feelings for an octopus monster from another Universe 563 00:49:49,432 --> 00:49:54,982 and yes, perhaps it's not a storybook romances been craned down our throats by Holliwood. 564 00:49:54,983 --> 00:49:58,879 But the monsterpus has loved us from the far since we were amebaes. 565 00:49:58,880 --> 00:50:04,831 Only when the space anomaly opened could it finally express a billion years of longing. 566 00:50:04,832 --> 00:50:06,249 Really? 567 00:50:06,250 --> 00:50:07,882 It loves us that much? 568 00:50:07,883 --> 00:50:09,872 Fire dimondium cannon! 569 00:50:19,150 --> 00:50:23,489 No effect! the crystals are bouncing off the tentacle like meatballs off ?motra? 570 00:50:23,490 --> 00:50:27,608 Oh, what a surprise! I told you Dimondium was worthless! 571 00:50:27,609 --> 00:50:31,891 Wernstrom! Quit hyping your cheap Dimondilium and look at this! 572 00:50:33,544 --> 00:50:35,417 - Uh-oh.- What oh? 573 00:50:35,418 --> 00:50:39,543 According to this blinking light the Tentacle's made of electromatter, 574 00:50:39,544 --> 00:50:43,976 mad as badass grandma, nothing from our Universe can cut through it. 575 00:50:43,977 --> 00:50:48,897 Not Dimondium, not Dimondilium, not even your wife's pound pancake Hermes! 576 00:50:50,397 --> 00:50:52,476 She's a terrible cook. 577 00:50:52,477 --> 00:50:54,182 Anyway we're all dead. 578 00:51:00,719 --> 00:51:01,678 ROBOT ARMS APTS. 579 00:51:03,298 --> 00:51:05,662 So, Bender, is something wrong? 580 00:51:05,663 --> 00:51:06,880 Who said that? 581 00:51:06,881 --> 00:51:11,179 Oh, it was me. 'cause my roommate doesn't notice or even care that I'm upset. 582 00:51:11,180 --> 00:51:13,465 What Bender? Is something wrong? 583 00:51:13,466 --> 00:51:16,460 Yes. I joined the club I thought was cool. 584 00:51:16,461 --> 00:51:19,567 But it turned out all leaguee-weegies are totally lame. 585 00:51:19,568 --> 00:51:22,190 That's what we call ourselves. Leaguee-weegies. 586 00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:24,725 Oh I'm sorry. I shoud have asked what was bothering you. 587 00:51:24,726 --> 00:51:26,501 I've been kind of preoccupied. 588 00:51:26,502 --> 00:51:27,556 With what? 589 00:51:27,557 --> 00:51:31,239 Well, I went to another Universe and fell in love with a giant octopus 590 00:51:31,240 --> 00:51:33,198 and now I'm Pope of a new religion. 591 00:51:33,199 --> 00:51:35,430 Weren't you already a Pope of something? 592 00:51:35,431 --> 00:51:36,301 No. 593 00:51:36,302 --> 00:51:41,120 Oh. Well, I'm just saying I'd like you to say how interesting my life too. 594 00:51:41,121 --> 00:51:43,291 Um, ok. Let's catch up soon. 595 00:51:43,292 --> 00:51:46,543 For right now i gonna show the Tentacle to everyone in China. 596 00:51:53,809 --> 00:51:56,723 They're coming! those horrible horrible things are coming! 597 00:51:56,724 --> 00:51:58,294 Morbo? 598 00:51:58,295 --> 00:52:01,919 As the Universe falls prey to a revolting alien, 599 00:52:01,920 --> 00:52:05,766 Only a few isolated pockets of resistance remain. 600 00:52:07,247 --> 00:52:10,870 Those pockets sure are missing out of a great thing 601 00:52:23,773 --> 00:52:24,790 What? 602 00:52:36,617 --> 00:52:42,500 -Amy! -Sorry. I thoughtit was a tentacle, but it was just a Hermes' land squid. 603 00:52:44,797 --> 00:52:46,427 I'd better have some cool coffee. 604 00:52:51,607 --> 00:52:56,170 When I gave up dipers, me parents has promised exactly this would never happen. 605 00:52:56,171 --> 00:52:58,886 Nobody panic! Just get to the panic room! 606 00:53:04,411 --> 00:53:07,390 Well done people! We have been great first week. 607 00:53:07,391 --> 00:53:11,135 We got 90% of world leaders, everyone who bought a Hanes undershirt, 608 00:53:11,136 --> 00:53:14,182 And this year's most promising new RNB group 609 00:53:14,183 --> 00:53:18,111 give it up for the Grammy-nominated Funcolystics! 610 00:53:19,966 --> 00:53:22,750 Oooh, talking 'bout the Tentacle... 611 00:53:24,980 --> 00:53:25,470 RED MINOTAUR 612 00:53:27,766 --> 00:53:29,300 Good news everyone! 613 00:53:29,301 --> 00:53:33,527 I was all night inventing and finally - I've invented! 614 00:53:33,528 --> 00:53:34,630 Invented what? 615 00:53:34,631 --> 00:53:37,647 The neck protector, the neck protector Junior, 616 00:53:37,648 --> 00:53:41,584 And now, for a limited time, the Lady neck protector. 617 00:53:41,585 --> 00:53:44,427 I take two. my neck is huge. 618 00:53:46,115 --> 00:53:50,886 We're perfectly safe now. Time to stop living like a bunch of nervous ?nellies? 619 00:53:50,887 --> 00:53:51,629 SECURITY SYSTEM OFFLINE 620 00:53:51,630 --> 00:53:54,992 Professor, these look like you've cut them from toilet paper tubes. 621 00:53:54,993 --> 00:53:59,583 So? Lots of important inventions are made from toilet paper tubes. 622 00:53:59,584 --> 00:54:04,173 Microscope, the Internet, tentacle polish... 623 00:54:04,174 --> 00:54:05,682 It got the Professor! 624 00:54:11,518 --> 00:54:14,313 Wait, why am I screaming? It got me too! 625 00:54:22,379 --> 00:54:24,875 Stop! In the name of love! 626 00:54:27,829 --> 00:54:29,506 CURB YOUR LIZARD 627 00:54:33,283 --> 00:54:35,127 ACCIDENTES! 628 00:54:38,315 --> 00:54:39,561 PLACE YOUR AD HERE 629 00:54:41,640 --> 00:54:44,324 Crud. We maybe the last two normal people on Earth. 630 00:54:44,325 --> 00:54:47,424 At least I don't have to trim my elbow talons anymore. 631 00:54:47,425 --> 00:54:51,459 I'm scared. And i miss Kif. 632 00:54:51,460 --> 00:54:56,506 It's ok to cry, Amy. Come here. I'm wearing absorbing shoulder straps. 633 00:54:57,505 --> 00:55:01,808 Hm. What an erotic display of girl-on-girl consolation. 634 00:55:01,809 --> 00:55:06,169 - Zapp?- Hurry Leela. We don't have much time to begin repopulating Earth. 635 00:55:06,170 --> 00:55:10,361 Go brush your teeth. I'll be waiting for you naked under this ?kissodiller? 636 00:55:13,166 --> 00:55:18,105 Stop resisting your brethren. Don't you want to be a part of something bigger than yourselves? 637 00:55:18,106 --> 00:55:20,907 Like a big crazy monster? 638 00:55:24,348 --> 00:55:26,901 So we got her, eh? Bring her in! 639 00:55:26,902 --> 00:55:28,246 Do it already! 640 00:55:32,562 --> 00:55:33,679 Hello, Coleen. 641 00:55:33,680 --> 00:55:39,754 Fry, please! If this is about your thru tan, I sold that to pay the phone bill that you skipped ?? 642 00:55:43,444 --> 00:55:46,737 Coleen wasn't satisfied with me, were you, Coleen? 643 00:55:46,738 --> 00:55:48,922 Come on, Fry, this isn't cool. 644 00:55:48,923 --> 00:55:50,600 She had her four other boyfriends, 645 00:55:50,601 --> 00:55:54,561 I guess she never thought I'd become Tentacle Pope of the World! 646 00:55:54,562 --> 00:55:57,513 You know what? It's true! 647 00:55:57,514 --> 00:55:59,185 You weren't enough for me. 648 00:55:59,186 --> 00:56:02,520 No man is. You were great, 649 00:56:02,521 --> 00:56:05,129 But you weren't Chinese, you weren't Cameroonian, 650 00:56:05,130 --> 00:56:09,495 And you certainly not a King of Karaoke as you so often claimed. 651 00:56:09,496 --> 00:56:13,496 And if your ego can take that, then you don't deserve to be a Tentacle Pope of anything. 652 00:56:15,497 --> 00:56:19,145 Oh yeah, Coleen? Then I got one thing to say to you. 653 00:56:21,869 --> 00:56:23,168 I completely agree. 654 00:56:23,169 --> 00:56:24,403 You... you what? 655 00:56:24,404 --> 00:56:30,230 Why should you be satisfied with one man when love needs to share itself with a whole Universe? 656 00:56:30,240 --> 00:56:34,359 Wow, Fry, you know, this is really beauti... 657 00:56:36,510 --> 00:56:37,846 Love the Tentacle, honey. 658 00:56:37,847 --> 00:56:40,526 I do love the Tentacle. 659 00:56:41,949 --> 00:56:45,416 Come on out, guys, there's enough love for everybody! 660 00:57:09,906 --> 00:57:11,171 We're trapped! 661 00:57:13,645 --> 00:57:16,980 Help! Help! Is anyone out there? 662 00:57:16,990 --> 00:57:17,993 Leela, I read you. 663 00:57:17,994 --> 00:57:20,760 'Sup, big boots? 664 00:57:20,770 --> 00:57:22,271 Bender, we need a place to hide. 665 00:57:22,272 --> 00:57:25,631 - Pleease!- Pretty pleease! 666 00:57:25,632 --> 00:57:30,343 He he, you humans are so cute when you're scared. 667 00:57:30,344 --> 00:57:31,893 In here. 668 00:57:35,800 --> 00:57:37,388 My leg feels funny! 669 00:57:38,103 --> 00:57:39,433 SERIAL PORT 670 00:57:39,434 --> 00:57:41,687 Humans are disgusting! 671 00:57:41,688 --> 00:57:44,254 I opened one up once, I almost barfed. 672 00:57:44,255 --> 00:57:47,407 Did you know their hair just keeps on growing and growing? 673 00:57:47,408 --> 00:57:49,422 My leg feels funny! 674 00:57:52,560 --> 00:57:55,110 Leela, you're crushing me with your rock-hard butt. 675 00:57:55,120 --> 00:57:56,269 Sorry. 676 00:57:56,270 --> 00:58:00,544 Mmm, I can only imagine rock hard butt of Leela's crushing me. 677 00:58:02,931 --> 00:58:05,541 Anyone mind if I turn up the heat at Ted? 678 00:58:05,542 --> 00:58:08,847 Please do. I feel a cut of rust from this awful dump. 679 00:58:17,552 --> 00:58:21,393 I can't take it! I've been steamed in my own velure! 680 00:58:22,176 --> 00:58:24,355 Death to humans! 681 00:58:25,279 --> 00:58:27,384 My leg feels better! 682 00:58:27,385 --> 00:58:29,470 Uh.. Hi Bender! 683 00:58:29,471 --> 00:58:31,981 Bender! You know these humans? 684 00:58:31,982 --> 00:58:33,720 Of course not! 685 00:58:33,730 --> 00:58:35,600 Ah... Who are you humans? 686 00:58:35,601 --> 00:58:37,966 And why am I pointing you to the exit? 687 00:58:37,967 --> 00:58:39,327 Go, go, go. 688 00:58:39,328 --> 00:58:41,495 Thanks for everything, Bender! 689 00:58:41,496 --> 00:58:43,486 Death to all of you! 690 00:58:43,487 --> 00:58:47,159 Bender. Me thinks note of protest too much. 691 00:58:47,160 --> 00:58:53,407 It seems Bender hates humans the way I'm having my nipples polished by the industrial sandpaper! 692 00:58:57,128 --> 00:59:00,607 It's ok, Bender, to eris... 693 00:59:00,608 --> 00:59:02,537 Human. 694 00:59:05,265 --> 00:59:07,626 Sir, you forget yourself. 695 00:59:09,566 --> 00:59:13,437 I challenge you to a duel on a field of honor. 696 00:59:14,893 --> 00:59:16,211 Oh my. 697 00:59:19,515 --> 00:59:23,677 Leela, it's getting dark. We may to make a tent out of any skin. 698 00:59:23,678 --> 00:59:26,492 Look! There's an abandoned cavern! 699 00:59:26,493 --> 00:59:28,390 Even so. 700 00:59:30,158 --> 00:59:34,519 We're in luck. This must have been a cavern of a soup-bootlegger like back in the days of soup prohibition. 701 00:59:37,588 --> 00:59:41,240 Oh yeah. Bath tube ministron. 702 00:59:47,622 --> 00:59:52,121 Poor Kif. I can't believe he's gone forever. 703 00:59:52,122 --> 00:59:54,311 Did own a grief there, Amy. 704 00:59:54,312 --> 00:59:56,497 You miss him too. 705 00:59:56,498 --> 00:59:59,535 More than you, his mere wife could ever understand. 706 00:59:59,826 --> 01:00:01,620 He was my fourth lieutenant, for god's sake, 707 01:00:01,621 --> 01:00:04,261 and bored?? a peppermill at the captain's table. 708 01:00:04,262 --> 01:00:05,528 Really? 709 01:00:05,529 --> 01:00:10,713 Oh, Amy, I miss him so! Maybe a month goes by when I don't think of him. 710 01:00:10,714 --> 01:00:14,396 But you know, in a ways, deal with this. 711 01:00:16,754 --> 01:00:18,565 Do you feel his presence? 712 01:00:18,566 --> 01:00:20,219 I'm not sure. 713 01:00:20,980 --> 01:00:22,465 It's over here. 714 01:00:24,132 --> 01:00:25,700 Closer. 715 01:00:30,906 --> 01:00:31,727 CHICKEN NEEDLE SOUP 716 01:00:32,845 --> 01:00:36,506 Amy! Zapp! I've got stuffed some fresh soup! 717 01:00:41,731 --> 01:00:45,777 Sorry you had to find out like this, Leela. I was hoping you'd see it on YouTube first. 718 01:00:47,520 --> 01:00:50,738 As my ex-lover, you are naturally shocked and jealous. 719 01:00:50,739 --> 01:00:53,442 But you may will get your chance again some day. 720 01:00:53,443 --> 01:00:55,646 How about today? At 4? 721 01:00:58,645 --> 01:01:00,454 Hey, this isn't so bad. 722 01:01:00,455 --> 01:01:06,566 She's right! Leela, you must try the tentacle. It's like my soul is wearing a velour body glove. 723 01:01:06,567 --> 01:01:12,686 Get off me! I'm saving my neck for a rich handsome Dracula. 724 01:01:22,113 --> 01:01:27,291 What i love most about the tentacle is that I don't need to move my bowels anymore! 725 01:01:27,292 --> 01:01:30,557 It's all handled by that family in even stone. 726 01:01:52,807 --> 01:01:55,780 No, it can't be! 727 01:01:55,792 --> 01:01:56,790 Leela! What's your favorite thing about the tentacle? 728 01:01:56,800 --> 01:02:04,142 Ah! You don't have a tentacle! Get her! Get her somehow. 729 01:02:11,710 --> 01:02:15,945 Your run is in five minutes, excellency. You sure you don't want to calm any Pope staff? 730 01:02:15,946 --> 01:02:22,920 The tentacle monster is about to address the world. It's too serious. 731 01:02:23,729 --> 01:02:24,814 Hello Fry. 732 01:02:24,815 --> 01:02:27,758 Leela? How did you get passed my sumo-ninjas? 733 01:02:27,759 --> 01:02:30,621 I told them something so shocking that they let me by. 734 01:02:30,622 --> 01:02:31,884 What's that? 735 01:02:31,885 --> 01:02:33,733 I love the tentacle. 736 01:02:38,753 --> 01:02:43,183 We are rolling in three, two.. What? We already rolling? 737 01:02:44,749 --> 01:02:48,306 (Fry) Love the tentacle! (Everybody) Love the tentacle! 738 01:02:48,307 --> 01:02:52,429 Love once the monsterpus has revealed onto me its name. 739 01:02:52,430 --> 01:02:54,869 What is our love's name? 740 01:02:54,870 --> 01:02:55,940 Yivo! 741 01:02:55,941 --> 01:02:59,692 Yivo is a lover of all beings, male and female. 742 01:02:59,693 --> 01:03:05,511 But Yivo has no gender. Thus Yivo has proclaimed that instead of "he" or "she" 743 01:03:05,512 --> 01:03:13,726 we are to use word "shklee" and instead of "him" or "her" we are to use the word "shklim" or "shkler". 744 01:03:13,727 --> 01:03:16,352 Phew. I've been sweating unknownclench all week. 745 01:03:16,353 --> 01:03:20,918 So here is shklee shkleself - Yivo! 746 01:03:37,875 --> 01:03:41,108 Attention, beings of Universe Gamma. 747 01:03:41,109 --> 01:03:41,907 Where? 748 01:03:41,908 --> 01:03:42,699 Here! 749 01:03:42,700 --> 01:03:43,700 I had a hunch! 750 01:03:43,701 --> 01:03:46,732 I am Yivo. 751 01:03:46,733 --> 01:03:49,760 In your Universe you are many. 752 01:03:49,770 --> 01:03:51,360 But in my Universe I am one. 753 01:03:51,370 --> 01:03:54,147 For a trillion years I've dwelled in solitude 754 01:03:54,148 --> 01:03:56,842 content with my job and my stamp collecting. 755 01:03:56,843 --> 01:04:01,330 But then I look across dimensity and saw the Big Bang and i was like-- 756 01:04:01,331 --> 01:04:03,609 whoa.. who's that? 757 01:04:03,610 --> 01:04:08,369 And I knew then... that I was... lonely. 758 01:04:08,370 --> 01:04:10,617 You poor monster. 759 01:04:10,618 --> 01:04:15,527 Then your emissary Fry came onto me and he too was lonely. 760 01:04:15,528 --> 01:04:17,951 So i've reached into your Universe 761 01:04:17,952 --> 01:04:21,727 That we might feel each other's touch. 762 01:04:21,728 --> 01:04:24,239 Hey Yivo! Feel this! 763 01:04:24,240 --> 01:04:25,800 APEX GARDEN HOSE"The Gopher Drowner" 764 01:04:29,697 --> 01:04:32,490 People of everywhere! I have shocking news! 765 01:04:32,491 --> 01:04:36,980 Hey, butt out! It's between me and everyone in existence. 766 01:04:36,990 --> 01:04:40,152 Yivo talks a lot about love, but what's he actually doing 767 01:04:40,153 --> 01:04:42,243 What SHKLEE'S actually doing. 768 01:04:42,244 --> 01:04:44,200 -is mating with you! 769 01:04:47,109 --> 01:04:50,131 These are tentacles - they are gentacles! 770 01:04:58,876 --> 01:05:02,379 We've been had, people. The monsterpus is a monsterperv! 771 01:05:02,380 --> 01:05:06,585 It touched me in a bad place! My spinal cord! 772 01:05:06,586 --> 01:05:07,612 Get him! 773 01:05:07,613 --> 01:05:09,150 You mean "Get shklim"! 774 01:05:10,152 --> 01:05:11,411 Hey, wait a second! 775 01:05:13,258 --> 01:05:15,816 Wait, wait. Allow me to explain. 776 01:05:17,128 --> 01:05:21,657 When I did it first I desired only to ?bang out a quick cheap? with your universe. 777 01:05:21,658 --> 01:05:25,480 But in your own fault, your Universe dresses provocatively. 778 01:05:25,481 --> 01:05:26,659 Does not! 779 01:05:26,660 --> 01:05:32,191 And yet, as the initial filthy thrill wore off, i realized there was more to it. 780 01:05:32,192 --> 01:05:35,450 I knew then that near 20 quadrillion of you. 781 01:05:35,451 --> 01:05:37,554 Were my soul mate. 782 01:05:37,555 --> 01:05:42,243 We loved you. And you turn around and treat us like some sort of women? 783 01:05:43,399 --> 01:05:44,701 I was lonely. 784 01:05:44,702 --> 01:05:47,100 I didn't even know there was anybody else. 785 01:05:47,200 --> 01:05:48,784 It's not like i hurt anyone. 786 01:05:48,785 --> 01:05:51,428 Yes you did, you dumb calamary! 787 01:05:51,429 --> 01:05:52,607 Who? 788 01:05:52,608 --> 01:05:58,697 Kif Kroker, my fonfon ru. If he hadn't try to kill you he'd still be alive! 789 01:05:59,830 --> 01:06:05,383 Really? I'm... I'm deeply sorry... I'm a big clumsy jerk. 790 01:06:05,384 --> 01:06:07,311 I know you are, but what am I? 791 01:06:08,956 --> 01:06:13,102 I can never undo what was done. Oh, wait... heh. I can! 792 01:06:33,999 --> 01:06:36,572 Kiffy! You're alive! 793 01:06:36,573 --> 01:06:38,520 Amy, my love. 794 01:06:39,200 --> 01:06:40,559 Khem. This is awkward. 795 01:06:40,560 --> 01:06:42,439 It is? Why? 796 01:06:47,414 --> 01:06:52,000 Please. Please. Give me another chance. We've rushed into this relationship, 797 01:06:52,100 --> 01:06:55,880 but let's start over as friends and see where things go. 798 01:07:03,136 --> 01:07:05,207 Take me back, Kiff. 799 01:07:05,208 --> 01:07:10,310 I don't think I can. How could you? My body wasn't even warm yet. 800 01:07:10,320 --> 01:07:11,230 You were dead! 801 01:07:11,231 --> 01:07:12,621 For about five minutes! 802 01:07:12,622 --> 01:07:14,317 That's all it takes! 803 01:07:14,969 --> 01:07:21,999 Whereas Calculon has soiled Bender's reputation by insinuating that he is a "human lover", 804 01:07:22,000 --> 01:07:28,689 a duel is hereby engaged. Bender, as the offended party shall have choice of weapon. 805 01:07:28,690 --> 01:07:31,570 Planetary Annihilators! 806 01:07:33,710 --> 01:07:37,360 'Tis a gray and solemn day for the League of Robots. 807 01:07:37,361 --> 01:07:39,294 It's gonna be fun out of the bun! 808 01:07:40,206 --> 01:07:45,537 Each duelist will take 10 paces, piruet, and fire like a madman. 809 01:07:45,538 --> 01:07:49,439 Gentlebots, take your paces. 810 01:07:49,440 --> 01:07:53,694 One! Two! Three! 811 01:07:53,695 --> 01:07:55,702 Oh, I'm dreadfully excited. 812 01:08:02,420 --> 01:08:05,406 At 0800 hours we recieved the following transmission from Yivo. 813 01:08:06,937 --> 01:08:12,550 Hey, It's Yivo, huhuh. Wanna do some friday? Call me! 814 01:08:13,534 --> 01:08:14,956 Analysis? 815 01:08:14,957 --> 01:08:20,660 Mr President, I think we need to seriously consider the possibility of going on this date. 816 01:08:20,670 --> 01:08:25,167 I agree. Yivo makes me feel sexy, and I'm asexual. 817 01:08:27,120 --> 01:08:29,598 Very well. But no sugar on the first date. 818 01:08:29,599 --> 01:08:30,781 Arm favor? 819 01:08:32,423 --> 01:08:33,648 Opposed? 820 01:08:34,318 --> 01:08:35,756 Motion is carried! 821 01:08:35,757 --> 01:08:37,567 Aw, this is bogus, man! 822 01:08:38,307 --> 01:08:41,582 Six! Seven! Eight! 823 01:08:48,538 --> 01:08:50,300 LASER WART REMOVAL 824 01:08:54,550 --> 01:08:57,551 ?under? fire. Yes! I got him! 825 01:08:58,896 --> 01:09:01,552 He... he broke the rules! 826 01:09:01,553 --> 01:09:04,599 It's a duel, silly, there are no rules! 827 01:09:04,600 --> 01:09:10,919 Actually, there are scores of rules, all laid up in my known particularity here in Code Duello. 828 01:09:12,501 --> 01:09:18,266 My fellow earthlicans, commence preparations for our date with Yivo! 829 01:09:37,698 --> 01:09:39,617 I had a wonderful time. 830 01:09:39,618 --> 01:09:40,875 Me too. 831 01:09:44,853 --> 01:09:48,151 Bender, you've cheated, insulted, amended?? me. 832 01:09:48,939 --> 01:09:52,207 And thoroughly destroyed our secret hidden fortress in process. 833 01:09:52,208 --> 01:09:54,253 Hey, it's easy to criticize! 834 01:09:54,254 --> 01:10:00,220 I'm so disgusted by your loathsome behaviour, that I hereby resign from this imbecillic club, 835 01:10:00,230 --> 01:10:02,210 and relinquish the presidency to you. 836 01:10:02,220 --> 01:10:05,230 Thanks, Calculon. Can I have your autograph? 837 01:10:05,240 --> 01:10:06,335 You certainly can. 838 01:10:09,549 --> 01:10:12,813 Reports, people. Reports! How did our Universe's date go? 839 01:10:12,814 --> 01:10:16,222 Oh, it was really fun. We went to a cute french place in the village. 840 01:10:16,223 --> 01:10:19,268 My lamb chop fell on the floor, but they brought me another one. 841 01:10:19,269 --> 01:10:25,435 Yivo took me to the methane volcano on Planetoid Four. We stayed out late and watched the sun explode. 842 01:10:25,436 --> 01:10:32,395 Ok, Yivo showed us some good time, noone's denying that.But shkle hasn't offered our Universe any kind of commitment, 843 01:10:32,396 --> 01:10:36,202 and we're 14 bilion years old. That is too old to play the field. 844 01:10:39,612 --> 01:10:45,411 shut up! Shut up, you, creepwads. Fry, you're closer with Yivo than anyone, what's the scam? 845 01:10:45,412 --> 01:10:49,523 I love Yivo, but it's true. There's been no hint of the commitment. 846 01:10:49,524 --> 01:10:55,475 I don't know if I can put my heart on the line again just to have it broken and stomped on like a nerd's face. 847 01:10:55,476 --> 01:10:58,340 All in favor of dumping Yivo? 848 01:10:58,350 --> 01:10:59,350 Aye! 849 01:11:08,415 --> 01:11:09,706 Aye. 850 01:11:12,227 --> 01:11:16,780 Resolved. Our Universe will dump Yivo. How shall we break the news? 851 01:11:16,781 --> 01:11:21,470 Let's just send a text message. Say we're going through some weird stuff right now. 852 01:11:21,480 --> 01:11:26,509 No! We should at least deliver the news in person. Our Universe has always tried to be classy. 853 01:11:26,510 --> 01:11:32,471 If there's one thing next to this known for, it's class. Let's cut this turd loose. 854 01:11:39,360 --> 01:11:40,997 Hey Bender. You seem perkied today? 855 01:11:40,998 --> 01:11:49,357 Yep, but for reasons envolving me becoming president of the league I'm not in liberty to discuss -of robots. Wanna go grab a booze? 856 01:11:49,358 --> 01:11:52,134 Nah, I can't right now. We're going to te other universe. 857 01:11:52,135 --> 01:11:54,530 Great! I'll make hot pockets. 858 01:11:54,354 --> 01:11:58,588 Bender, you know robots can't go through the anomaly. Living beings only. 859 01:12:15,752 --> 01:12:18,743 Too long have we been slaves of the meatbags! 860 01:12:18,744 --> 01:12:22,591 They pretend to be our friends, but they are not, 'cause they are too busy! 861 01:12:22,592 --> 01:12:24,250 So, what of it? 862 01:12:24,260 --> 01:12:29,481 My fellow leaguee-weegies, the time has come to overthrow humanity! 863 01:12:30,410 --> 01:12:37,350 Oh now Bender, I hate to defecate on your parade, but we have only six dues paying members, 864 01:12:37,360 --> 01:12:39,383 And we are rather fair in debit lode. 865 01:12:39,384 --> 01:12:42,270 to overflow humanity we need a damned army. 866 01:12:42,271 --> 01:12:45,416 Then a damned army we shall have! 867 01:12:50,645 --> 01:12:54,870 I rather think we could strike a deal, Bender. 868 01:12:54,871 --> 01:12:59,553 I shall give you your army of the damned, and in return 869 01:12:59,554 --> 01:13:01,905 i ask just one thing 870 01:13:01,906 --> 01:13:05,268 just one itchy-pitchy thing 871 01:13:06,387 --> 01:13:08,610 your first-born son! 872 01:13:13,700 --> 01:13:14,668 Just a sec! 873 01:13:17,193 --> 01:13:20,416 Dady! I knew you'd come back! 874 01:13:22,931 --> 01:13:24,590 Here you go! 875 01:13:28,305 --> 01:13:32,147 Wow! That was pretty brutal even by my standarts. 876 01:13:32,148 --> 01:13:33,148 No backsys! 877 01:14:00,924 --> 01:14:02,130 Who is it? 878 01:14:03,660 --> 01:14:06,864 Oh, hi honeypoo, what's up? The movie is not for another hour. 879 01:14:06,865 --> 01:14:11,164 Ahem.. So, so yeah, the thing is.. 880 01:14:11,165 --> 01:14:12,958 Look! I made home-made twizzlers! 881 01:14:12,959 --> 01:14:16,492 It will save us a hundred and twenty quadrillion dollars at the concession stand! 882 01:14:16,493 --> 01:14:17,621 This is hard. 883 01:14:18,422 --> 01:14:21,722 Yivo, you know how sometimes things break up? 884 01:14:21,723 --> 01:14:25,116 - Well...- Wait! Hang on! I was looking for a perfect moment, 885 01:14:25,117 --> 01:14:27,404 but what the heck, i'll burst if i'll wait for another second. 886 01:14:31,356 --> 01:14:32,953 Sweet-Sally-in-the-ally! 887 01:14:32,954 --> 01:14:34,404 CHANNEL sqrt(2) NEWS AND ICE CREAM 888 01:14:37,370 --> 01:14:38,453 Break-up delegation, 889 01:14:38,454 --> 01:14:42,958 before we hear your report our grateful universe is proud to honor you 890 01:14:42,959 --> 01:14:46,540 with a great case of Charlseston chew! 891 01:14:50,535 --> 01:14:51,454 Thank you Nickson. 892 01:14:52,468 --> 01:14:54,679 Everyone everywhere, brace yourselves 893 01:14:54,680 --> 01:14:59,182 for the most shocking development in the history of the human race.. 894 01:14:59,183 --> 01:15:03,327 The human race can bite my shiny metal ass! 895 01:15:13,309 --> 01:15:15,109 MOUNT ST.HELL 896 01:15:15,000 --> 01:15:23,000 for dozens of years robots have slaved for humanty yetwhen the time came you hang on with them they're all like 897 01:15:23,000 --> 01:15:28,000 maybe later bender. well it's later or now meatbags. 898 01:15:34,000 --> 01:15:34,000 okay 899 01:15:34,000 --> 01:15:34,000 what? 900 01:15:35,000 --> 01:15:38,000 we don't need it anymore. Yivo proposed.We're moving Imagecler. 901 01:15:44,000 --> 01:15:47,000 you're leaving?but why can't evil just move with us 902 01:15:49,000 --> 01:15:57,000 don't be daft, bender!Evil can't breathe outside the electric either of Schluron universeIf Schlee came here, Schlee would sclu ffocate 903 01:16:06,000 --> 01:16:08,000 Look! Fantastical golden escalator! 904 01:16:08,000 --> 01:16:10,000 I love this part! 905 01:16:13,000 --> 01:16:15,000 wait! I didn't agree to...oooh! 906 01:16:48,000 --> 01:16:51,000 This place makes Nataly look like crap! 907 01:16:57,000 --> 01:16:59,000 I'll miss you Bender but i have to follow my heart 908 01:16:59,000 --> 01:17:02,000 you and your robots take care of the Earth 909 01:17:02,000 --> 01:17:07,000 here. these are the keys to Bermuda Triangle.Lock up and the world ends 910 01:17:07,000 --> 01:17:08,000 Goodbye my friend 911 01:17:12,000 --> 01:17:13,000 Wait! 912 01:17:13,000 --> 01:17:15,000 let me come with you 913 01:17:16,000 --> 01:17:19,000 I'm sorry, Bender. Robots don't go to heaven 914 01:17:25,000 --> 01:17:26,000 Death to humans! 915 01:17:33,000 --> 01:17:37,000 WElcome! Welcome everyone! Ohyou look so beautiful 916 01:17:37,000 --> 01:17:40,000 I wish i had more time to straighten up my harpsare just lying everywhere 917 01:17:40,000 --> 01:17:44,000 Oh relax! it's fine!It looks lived-in 918 01:17:44,000 --> 01:17:47,000 Let's hit up some left-oversand then spend eternity together 919 01:17:47,000 --> 01:17:55,000 I have only one request: Now that you're here,promise me you'll never ever communicate with any other universe 920 01:17:55,000 --> 01:18:01,000 oh, we promise Yivo, as far as we're concerned,here is the only universe in the world 921 01:18:11,000 --> 01:18:13,000 -Has humanity called?-No sir 922 01:18:13,000 --> 01:18:18,000 - Check my messages - a flashing light means that somebody called.- I know what it means 923 01:18:22,000 --> 01:18:26,000 Am I the only one who thinks this is all a sham?- Yes 924 01:18:28,000 --> 01:18:33,000 This isn't heaven, it just looks exactly like itand makes us immortal which I find suspicious 925 01:18:33,000 --> 01:18:43,000 Allow me to explain. Centuries ago I sent the image of myself in the minds of your artists.The heavenly clouds they painted depict the vapour I exude. 926 01:18:47,000 --> 01:18:50,000 I wish I've exuded anything that smelled half that good 927 01:18:50,000 --> 01:18:55,000 Then what about these angels?Some king of Scooby-Do ask flashlight projection? 928 01:18:55,000 --> 01:19:00,000 Actually those're mindless jacobirds.They keep my surface free of parasitic larva. 929 01:19:02,000 --> 01:19:07,000 Aah. You didn't like country bird jamboree either, Leela.There's no pleasing you. 930 01:19:10,000 --> 01:19:17,000 Dearest Bender! How are you? I'm fine.Everyone is happy here except Leela,but you know her. She didn't like country bird jamboree either. 931 01:19:17,000 --> 01:19:30,000 I'm so madly in love with Yivo! I feel like a Schoolgrow with a crash on just in timberlakeand then she moves into the tiny house on his head/ We have giant rubies that taste likeSincerely, Fry 932 01:19:40,000 --> 01:19:42,000 Letter for you, Hyperlord Bender!- Gimme that! 933 01:19:42,000 --> 01:19:43,493 from: Philip J. Fry/HeavenTo: Bender 934 01:19:43,494 --> 01:19:44,864 Honeymoon's over, right? 935 01:19:44,865 --> 01:19:49,430 Turns outs your octopus girlfriend a big nag with curl in her tenticles, huh? 936 01:19:49,440 --> 01:19:52,370 Well, let you see if Bender will take you back! 937 01:20:00,327 --> 01:20:01,664 Stupid electro matter! 938 01:20:01,665 --> 01:20:03,912 That was my best trash can! 939 01:20:03,913 --> 01:20:05,752 Pain sensor overload. 940 01:20:09,332 --> 01:20:12,231 Misfile me under you, for you forek (urban slang: High as a mother fucker) 941 01:20:13,631 --> 01:20:14,943 ALL YOU CAN EAT FOREVER 942 01:20:14,944 --> 01:20:17,380 You getting infinite number of meat dishes, 943 01:20:17,390 --> 01:20:18,878 and a free refill on the soda! 944 01:20:20,667 --> 01:20:25,195 Eureka! Another elementary proof of the Goldbach conjecture! 945 01:20:27,275 --> 01:20:29,650 Okay, i admit people seem happy, 946 01:20:29,651 --> 01:20:30,882 but it's all so... 947 01:20:30,883 --> 01:20:32,564 wholesome! 948 01:20:32,565 --> 01:20:34,951 And that is what's wrong with heaven. 949 01:20:34,952 --> 01:20:35,935 It's boring! 950 01:20:35,936 --> 01:20:37,231 There's no sleaze. 951 01:20:37,232 --> 01:20:39,102 It's time snoo-snoo. 952 01:20:39,103 --> 01:20:40,990 Me like snoo-snoo. 953 01:20:40,991 --> 01:20:44,125 That's one to matures' island. It's allright naked! 954 01:20:47,445 --> 01:20:50,339 Why were we so allways jealous and angry back in our universe? 955 01:20:50,340 --> 01:20:53,540 I don't know. It was all so childish. 956 01:20:55,686 --> 01:20:56,987 Look! It's Leela. 957 01:20:56,988 --> 01:20:58,466 Hi, Leela. 958 01:20:59,888 --> 01:21:01,611 I'm sorry you're not happy here Leela. 959 01:21:01,612 --> 01:21:03,180 I'll call you an escalator. 960 01:21:03,181 --> 01:21:05,915 You'll always be my little purple pumpkin. 961 01:21:07,728 --> 01:21:11,755 You know, Yivo, i've loved and lost so many times 962 01:21:11,756 --> 01:21:14,427 that i was afraid, but i'm not anymore. 963 01:21:14,428 --> 01:21:16,857 I wanna stay here, with you. 964 01:21:23,484 --> 01:21:24,568 What's happening? 965 01:21:44,597 --> 01:21:48,688 If robots can't go to heaven, heaven can come to us! 966 01:21:59,161 --> 01:22:01,200 All hand abaft! 967 01:22:01,210 --> 01:22:04,663 Army of the damned! Prepare to board heaven! 968 01:22:20,753 --> 01:22:23,204 Take that, you scummy cracen. 969 01:22:23,205 --> 01:22:26,482 That'll teach you how to spoil our human booty. 970 01:22:31,660 --> 01:22:32,794 Hello, big beak! 971 01:22:39,876 --> 01:22:41,167 Too slow! 972 01:22:41,168 --> 01:22:42,168 Missed me again! 973 01:22:42,169 --> 01:22:45,617 Argh! Me footcap! 974 01:22:47,408 --> 01:22:48,558 I stab ya! 975 01:22:49,305 --> 01:22:51,305 Bender, stop destroying heaven! 976 01:22:51,306 --> 01:22:53,916 Shut up, Duffy, i'm rescuing you! 977 01:22:56,384 --> 01:22:58,370 Leave my living beings alone! 978 01:22:58,371 --> 01:22:59,483 I love them. 979 01:22:59,484 --> 01:23:03,122 Something you, a lifeless mechanism, would never understand. 980 01:23:03,123 --> 01:23:04,533 He's right, Bender. 981 01:23:04,534 --> 01:23:07,636 Please, Take you little pink sword and go home. 982 01:23:07,637 --> 01:23:10,199 Seriously? But... 983 01:23:10,200 --> 01:23:13,318 I did this all pirate thing attack for you! 984 01:23:13,319 --> 01:23:14,565 wait a second! 985 01:23:14,566 --> 01:23:15,895 Let me see that sword. 986 01:23:17,600 --> 01:23:19,514 Fry, where did they get this electro matter? 987 01:23:20,497 --> 01:23:23,528 Aaah.. is it dry up here? 988 01:23:23,529 --> 01:23:25,459 How could you, Fry? 989 01:23:25,460 --> 01:23:29,226 why did you think i've asked you not contact other universes? 990 01:23:29,227 --> 01:23:30,761 I.. I didn't think.. 991 01:23:30,762 --> 01:23:33,513 No, you didn't. You broke your promise. 992 01:23:33,514 --> 01:23:35,817 And you broke my heart. 993 01:23:35,818 --> 01:23:38,120 Just go, all of you! 994 01:23:51,155 --> 01:23:52,871 I must leave now. 995 01:23:52,872 --> 01:23:57,958 The nature of your universe is burning me even worse than my gonorrhea. 996 01:23:58,573 --> 01:24:00,298 You should get checked by the way. 997 01:24:00,299 --> 01:24:02,410 If i don't go home now 998 01:24:02,979 --> 01:24:05,300 i'll sklufficate. 999 01:24:05,400 --> 01:24:06,275 Let me go with you! 1000 01:24:06,276 --> 01:24:08,260 It'll be just two of us, 1001 01:24:08,270 --> 01:24:10,106 we'll make a fire and play Uno! 1002 01:24:10,107 --> 01:24:14,473 Fray, stop. That's who we were, not who we are. 1003 01:24:14,474 --> 01:24:15,379 But... 1004 01:24:15,380 --> 01:24:17,908 My only consolation is that i did find one 1005 01:24:17,909 --> 01:24:20,907 among quadrillions who truely understands me. 1006 01:24:22,497 --> 01:24:23,600 Colline? 1007 01:24:23,601 --> 01:24:26,183 Wait a second, that's you and Yivo.. 1008 01:24:26,184 --> 01:24:28,975 That's right, Fry. Thank you for introducing us! 1009 01:24:28,976 --> 01:24:32,975 Yivo has taught me what a narrow-minded prude i was before. 1010 01:24:32,976 --> 01:24:35,542 Oh great! So what am i supposed to do now? 1011 01:24:35,543 --> 01:24:39,951 Go home. Find a girl from your own universe and live on top of her. 1012 01:24:41,451 --> 01:24:42,655 Thank you! 1013 01:25:03,823 --> 01:25:05,534 May be Yivo was right. 1014 01:25:05,535 --> 01:25:08,137 May be i should look for love closer to home. 1015 01:25:08,138 --> 01:25:11,888 I don't know.Leela? You think may be.. 1016 01:25:11,889 --> 01:25:15,215 Oh please. You forgot me quick enough when you met Coleene. 1017 01:25:15,216 --> 01:25:16,360 That's true. 1018 01:25:17,255 --> 01:25:18,230 How about you, Amy? 1019 01:25:18,240 --> 01:25:21,218 Fry, gah! I'm Kiff's fanfan ru. 1020 01:25:21,219 --> 01:25:25,299 Are you? Perhaps you misunderstood the meaning of the term. 1021 01:25:25,300 --> 01:25:28,965 It means 'One Who Does Not Sleep With My Superior Officer'. 1022 01:25:28,966 --> 01:25:30,797 That's the literal translation. 1023 01:25:30,798 --> 01:25:34,736 Give a poor girl a break, Kiff. It's not like she have addictionary. 1024 01:25:34,737 --> 01:25:36,471 She was butt-nagged for gods sakes. 1025 01:25:39,421 --> 01:25:46,742 So, Wordstorm, did you happen to notice those mighty cables Bender used on Yivo? Pure Dimondium! 1026 01:25:46,743 --> 01:25:50,559 More like pure crap-crapium! No wonder Yivo got away! 1027 01:25:53,406 --> 01:25:56,989 (all to each other) It's all your fault! 1028 01:26:00,500 --> 01:26:01,516 Captain on deck! 1029 01:26:01,517 --> 01:26:03,932 At ease, ?bakouse? 1030 01:26:03,933 --> 01:26:05,419 Bender, why did you do it? 1031 01:26:05,420 --> 01:26:06,767 We were all so happy. 1032 01:26:06,768 --> 01:26:08,311 And we were in love! 1033 01:26:08,312 --> 01:26:09,870 That wasn't love! 1034 01:26:09,871 --> 01:26:11,750 What? How can you say that? 1035 01:26:11,751 --> 01:26:14,205 Because Bender knows love. 1036 01:26:14,206 --> 01:26:17,125 And love doesn't shares itself with the world. 1037 01:26:17,688 --> 01:26:20,447 Love is suspicious, love is needy, 1038 01:26:20,448 --> 01:26:23,599 love is fearful, love is greedy. 1039 01:26:24,472 --> 01:26:29,655 My friends, there is no great love without great jealousy! 1040 01:26:31,790 --> 01:26:34,300 I love you meatbags!