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SubRip by Datai @
www.subcentral.de & www.tv4user.de
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HERMES: Planet Express
delivery company roll call!
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-Captain Turanga Leela !
-Here!
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Delivery boy, first class, Philip J. Fry!
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Here!
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Assistant Manager of Sales,
Bender Bending Rodriguez!
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Here!
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Cerveza, por favor.
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Long-term intern, Amy Wong.
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Here!
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(SCREAMING)
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Company physician, Dr. John A. Zoidberg.
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I thought it was mine.
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Bureaucrat Grade 34, Hermes Conrad
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is who I am.
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And now I am proud to present
the owner and founder of Planet Express,
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Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth!
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You're all fired.
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(ALL EX CLAIMING)
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Sweet bongo of the Congo!
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In fact, you were fired two years ago.
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That's when we were shut down
by the delivery network.
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FARNSWORTH.: Yes, I'm afraid the brainless
drones who run the network
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canceled our License.
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(ALL BABBLING)
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We were canceled?
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Oh, it's terrible. Just terrible.
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Well, clear out your desks
and move along. Chop-chop.
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(PHONE RINGING)
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Yes? I see.
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Good news, everyone!
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Those asinine morons who canceled us
were themselves fired for incompetence.
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(ALL CHEERING)
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And not just fired, but beaten up, too.
And pretty badly.
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(ALL CHEERING HALFHEARTEDLY)
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In fact, most of them died
from their injuries.
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(ALL MURMURING)
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(LAUGHING)
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And then they were ground up
into a fine pink powder.
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-Why?
-Oh, it's got a million and one uses.
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That soothes the fire.
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So what does this mean
for us and our many fans?
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It means we're back on the air!
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Yes, flying on the air
in our mighty spaceship.
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(ALL CHEERING)
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We're back, baby!
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Party!
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(LAUGHING)
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(EX CLAIMING)
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(RAZZING)
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(SCRATCHING)
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ALL: Go, go, go!
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Lower, lawn mower!
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What's the matter, robot?
You got a rod up your spine?
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Yes, I do. That's how I'm built.
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-SCRUFFY: Hooray.
-Way to bend it!
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You're the greatest, Bender!
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In Jamaica, we got
10-story office buildings lower than that.
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Let's see you beat it, Rasta man.
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Let's make it interesting.
Fetch down one of them sabers.
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Oh, flexible.
That would go good up my spine.
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(STEEL DRUMS
PLAYING SABRE DANCE)
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Lower.
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The fat guy wins!
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FRY: Go, Hermes!
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(ALL CHEERING)
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That's why they call me 1 1-inch Conrad.
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(EX CLAIMING)
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Oh, no.
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(MUSIC STOPS )
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(SIREN WAILING)
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(EX CLAIMING)
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(GROWLING)
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Can you save Hermes, Dr. Goodensexy?
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I told you, my name is Dr. Cahill.
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Figures I'd get mangled
while the blond bimbo's on duty.
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I'm a doctor, sir.
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The mere fact that I'm blond
and have a breathy voice,
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full sensual lips and a steaming hot body
doesn't make me a bimbo.
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Tell me about it.
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I think we've all learned a thing or two
about sexual stereotypes
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while my head's slowly dying
'cause I'm not in a jar yet, you bimbo!
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Oh, right. Ditzy-witzy!
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Lars, got another jar job!
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Oh, sorry, Doctor.
I was disinfecting Courtney Love...
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Oh, hello.
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What are you looking at? Is it the eye?
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Guilty as charged.
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It's a nice looking eye,
and there's plenty of it.
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-Oh. Do I know you?
-Apparently not.
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-Hi. I'm Lars.
-Oh. I'm Leela.
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-Nice to meet you.
-Nice to be met.
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(BOTH LAUGHING)
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Pick up ladies on your own time,
you shiny-headed goat.
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Sir, you're just a little enraged
'cause you're dying. Up and away!
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Lars is so flirting with you.
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He is so not. He's just being polite.
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Who does he think he is,
being polite to you?
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-You want me to beat him up?
-No. Stop being so immature.
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I'll show her who's immature.
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''Charles de Gaulle''? Never heard of you.
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I freed France from the Nazis and...
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(IMITATING FRENCH ACCENT)
Hey, Leela. I'm some French guy.
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Rock that Frenchman, baby!
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Oh, my poor little love pirate
of the Caribbean.
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(SOBBING)
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There, there, wife. Everything will be all...
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Okay, look, Hermes,
we got to think of the boy.
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-He needs a daddy.
-He has a daddy.
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No, he got two half-daddies.
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-Will his body be all right?
-Yes, but it may take a few days.
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No, not soon enough.
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Come, Dwight,
let's find you a handsome new father.
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LaBarbara, no!
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(SOBBING)
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It's okay, Hermes. We're all here for you.
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Good news, everyone!
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We've got a delivery
to the nude beach planet.
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(ALL CHEERING)
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So long, jerk.
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It feels great to be back at the wheel
after two long years.
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That's not the wheel.
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(ALL SCREAMING)
124
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It's nice out.
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''You must be at least this naked''?
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How much nakeder could you be?
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Watch and learn.
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(WHOOPING)
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(RETCHING)
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-You know, it's funny.
-What?
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Your wiener!
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(LAUGHING)
133
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Well, I'm going in the water
to prune up a bit before I strut.
134
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-Who's with me?
-I'm in!
135
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-I'm in.
-Yeah, I'll go.
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You guys go ahead.
137
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I gotta find the bartender
and deliver this box of barstool softener.
138
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Here's your package, sir.
139
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-Why are you talking to my penis?
-Oh, sorry. Sign here.
140
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-Mind if I use your pen?
-Well, that's not a...
141
00:08:36,318 --> 00:08:37,307
(FRY SCREAMING)
142
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And initial here.
143
00:08:38,587 --> 00:08:40,248
(FRY SCREAMING)
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Thank you for using Planet Express.
145
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Hey, Fry, I didn't know
you had a tattoo of Bender on your ass.
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Me, neither.
147
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You got a tattoo of me?
148
00:08:50,799 --> 00:08:53,393
Neat. It's like looking in a smelly mirror.
149
00:08:53,502 --> 00:08:56,471
So he's got a little ink. Big whoop.
150
00:09:05,447 --> 00:09:07,039
Sweet photons.
151
00:09:07,149 --> 00:09:11,210
I don't know if you're waves or particles,
but you go down smooth.
152
00:09:11,319 --> 00:09:13,651
Sir, would you care to sign our petition?
153
00:09:13,755 --> 00:09:18,749
I support and oppose many things,
but not strongly enough to pick up a pen.
154
00:09:18,860 --> 00:09:19,849
That's just what the guys
155
00:09:19,961 --> 00:09:22,521
who oppose the things
you support want you to do.
156
00:09:22,631 --> 00:09:24,997
Really? Down with those guys!
157
00:09:26,368 --> 00:09:29,201
And we'll need your e-mail address.
158
00:09:30,105 --> 00:09:32,733
They say you shouldn't give out
your e-mail address.
159
00:09:32,841 --> 00:09:36,004
Right. That's just
what those same guys say.
160
00:09:36,111 --> 00:09:37,510
Them again?
161
00:09:40,315 --> 00:09:42,909
(PURRING)
162
00:09:43,552 --> 00:09:46,988
I don't quite understand
what this petition's about.
163
00:09:48,056 --> 00:09:49,284
Animals?
164
00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:53,860
And your e-mail address.
165
00:09:53,962 --> 00:09:58,626
-You won't send me any spam, will you?
-Oh, no, no, no, no.
166
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(UNDER BREATH) Asterisk.
167
00:10:00,902 --> 00:10:02,699
COMPUTER.: You've got spam.
168
00:10:03,205 --> 00:10:05,639
Spam, spam, junk.
169
00:10:06,441 --> 00:10:09,535
The very last pygmy rhino
is going extinct?
170
00:10:09,644 --> 00:10:12,078
Unless it gets my credit card number?
171
00:10:12,180 --> 00:10:14,148
Spam. Spam.
172
00:10:15,016 --> 00:10:18,747
''Hi. How are you?''
Oh, that must be from Kiffy.
173
00:10:18,854 --> 00:10:20,321
COMPUTER.: Hi, how are you?
174
00:10:20,422 --> 00:10:22,947
Low, Iow prices
on erectiIe dysfunction remedies,
175
00:10:23,058 --> 00:10:26,221
sIeeping piIIs, oId-person drugs,
and antidepressants.
176
00:10:26,328 --> 00:10:27,886
Antidepressants?
177
00:10:28,330 --> 00:10:30,423
Well, I certainly don't want
to get depressed.
178
00:10:30,532 --> 00:10:32,227
PIease enter credit card number.
179
00:10:32,334 --> 00:10:33,767
Is cash okay?
180
00:10:35,837 --> 00:10:36,861
(BURPING)
181
00:10:37,038 --> 00:10:39,598
Porn. Porn. Free porn.
182
00:10:39,975 --> 00:10:42,034
(BENDER READING)
183
00:10:42,244 --> 00:10:44,769
I find that rather hard to believe.
184
00:10:44,980 --> 00:10:47,915
(BENDER READING)
185
00:10:52,487 --> 00:10:53,920
''Top-quality.''
186
00:10:54,289 --> 00:10:55,313
(ALARM BLARING)
187
00:10:55,423 --> 00:10:57,914
(BENDER READING)
188
00:10:58,727 --> 00:11:01,093
I'm waiting for porn over here.
189
00:11:01,630 --> 00:11:03,598
Oh, yeah, come on, baby.
190
00:11:04,466 --> 00:11:05,865
(COUGHING)
191
00:11:11,706 --> 00:11:12,730
(PANTING)
192
00:11:12,841 --> 00:11:14,274
Friends, friends!
193
00:11:14,376 --> 00:11:18,642
His Majesty Prince Adisaraki O. Zoidberg
of Nigeria died.
194
00:11:18,747 --> 00:11:20,214
That's so sad.
195
00:11:20,482 --> 00:11:22,006
(SOBBING)
196
00:11:22,117 --> 00:11:24,847
When will those antidepressants get here?
197
00:11:24,953 --> 00:11:26,318
Wait, there's more.
198
00:11:26,421 --> 00:11:30,084
According to this e-mail,
I, Zoidberg, am his next of kin.
199
00:11:30,191 --> 00:11:33,649
Once I wire some good-faith money
to an overseas bank account,
200
00:11:33,762 --> 00:11:38,290
I'll inherit his kingdom,
his canoe, and his plump young wife.
201
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:41,892
You dumb stumps.
Don't you realize you're being scammed?
202
00:11:42,003 --> 00:11:43,800
That is low, Hermes.
203
00:11:43,905 --> 00:11:45,532
Just because you don't have a body,
204
00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:48,541
you don't want anyone else
to be prince of Nigeria.
205
00:11:48,643 --> 00:11:51,578
Well, try and stop me
from wiring that money.
206
00:11:51,746 --> 00:11:53,543
(WHOOPING)
207
00:11:54,215 --> 00:11:55,705
What's going on here?
208
00:11:55,817 --> 00:11:58,615
According to
my illegal key logging software,
209
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:02,247
you've all been giving out
personal information over the Internet.
210
00:12:02,357 --> 00:12:05,155
If Hermes were here, he'd fire you all.
211
00:12:05,260 --> 00:12:07,160
-I am here.
-Quiet, you.
212
00:12:07,262 --> 00:12:11,892
In his absence, I'm calling
a mandatory company security seminar.
213
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,433
To the mandatorium !
214
00:12:16,137 --> 00:12:19,538
Now, it's not hard to spot
a phony Internet come-on.
215
00:12:19,641 --> 00:12:23,600
''Get rich quick x7 q''? Phony.
216
00:12:23,979 --> 00:12:27,745
''Lose weight with space parasites''?
Phony.
217
00:12:28,750 --> 00:12:33,153
What's this?
I've won the Spanish National Lottery?
218
00:12:33,254 --> 00:12:34,653
No, it's a scam !
219
00:12:34,756 --> 00:12:39,921
Yes, yes, a scam. My goodness, I'm rich!
220
00:12:40,028 --> 00:12:43,259
And to think I didn't even know
I had a ticket.
221
00:12:43,365 --> 00:12:46,493
I just need to wire some collateral
to collect the winnings.
222
00:12:46,601 --> 00:12:49,627
Professor, stop!
You're giving away personal information!
223
00:12:49,738 --> 00:12:54,937
I can afford to give away anything I want.
I've won the Spanish National Lottery.
224
00:12:55,043 --> 00:12:56,203
-No, don't!
-It's a scam !
225
00:12:56,311 --> 00:12:58,506
Why won't anybody listen to me?
226
00:12:58,613 --> 00:13:03,346
And my mother's maiden name
and her bank account numbers and...
227
00:13:03,451 --> 00:13:04,611
There!
228
00:13:05,153 --> 00:13:08,953
I'm rich. Rich. Rich!
229
00:13:09,057 --> 00:13:10,081
(DOORBELL RINGING)
230
00:13:10,191 --> 00:13:12,625
That must be my $400 now.
231
00:13:14,195 --> 00:13:18,598
Hello. Or should I say, '"Buenos dias '"?
232
00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:20,861
Hi. We own your company now.
233
00:13:20,969 --> 00:13:22,300
(EX CLAIMING)
234
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:27,031
I'll deal with these guys.
235
00:13:27,742 --> 00:13:28,834
Welcome, boss.
236
00:13:28,943 --> 00:13:30,410
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
237
00:13:32,447 --> 00:13:33,436
Guess I was wrong.
238
00:13:33,548 --> 00:13:36,381
There was a robot stupid enough
to download the obedience virus.
239
00:13:36,484 --> 00:13:39,044
I sure was. Make a hole, chumps.
240
00:13:41,289 --> 00:13:43,814
(IMITATING TRUMPET FANFARE)
241
00:13:43,925 --> 00:13:46,792
Presenting our new masters!
242
00:13:58,173 --> 00:14:01,301
Where shall I put these auto-dialers,
kind master?
243
00:14:01,409 --> 00:14:04,276
Between the password crank
and the spamjaculator.
244
00:14:04,379 --> 00:14:06,813
Come on!
We've got a whole planet to scam.
245
00:14:06,915 --> 00:14:08,473
And bring me some more Gummi Fungus!
246
00:14:09,851 --> 00:14:11,182
(SQUEAKING)
247
00:14:12,620 --> 00:14:16,056
We don't have to stand here
and take abuse from a gross nerd.
248
00:14:16,157 --> 00:14:17,317
-Yeah!
-Yeah!
249
00:14:17,425 --> 00:14:18,585
(SHOUTING)
250
00:14:23,231 --> 00:14:24,289
(GIGGLING)
251
00:14:24,399 --> 00:14:26,458
Now get back to work, you turkeys.
252
00:14:26,568 --> 00:14:28,160
Planet Express is still in business.
253
00:14:28,269 --> 00:14:32,103
We've got crap loads of
quote-unquote merchandise to deliver.
254
00:14:34,442 --> 00:14:35,966
Ship them out, Your Highness.
255
00:14:36,077 --> 00:14:38,307
Finally, some respect.
256
00:14:41,783 --> 00:14:43,717
I feel a little better.
257
00:14:48,456 --> 00:14:51,391
Those marvelous scammers
sure scammed us, huh?
258
00:14:51,493 --> 00:14:54,189
How can you just sit there
kissing the aliens' butt flaps?
259
00:14:54,295 --> 00:14:57,389
Don't you realize
you are totally under their control?
260
00:14:57,499 --> 00:15:00,764
Of course I realize it.
Does that mean I can't enjoy it?
261
00:15:02,003 --> 00:15:03,800
Boy, were we suckers.
262
00:15:05,140 --> 00:15:06,698
Greetings, earthlings.
263
00:15:06,808 --> 00:15:11,006
Oh, hooray.
It's handsome Lars and his fabulous jars.
264
00:15:11,112 --> 00:15:12,773
Hello, everyone who isn't Leela.
265
00:15:12,881 --> 00:15:14,906
And a special hello to everyone else.
266
00:15:15,016 --> 00:15:16,005
(GIGGLING)
267
00:15:16,117 --> 00:15:18,142
Shut your lockers and get to class.
268
00:15:18,253 --> 00:15:21,552
-How's my body doing?
-Oh, I'm afraid it's behind schedule.
269
00:15:21,656 --> 00:15:23,817
The museum got tricked
into giving all its funding
270
00:15:23,925 --> 00:15:26,655
to something called
the Scamming Sciences Institute.
271
00:15:26,761 --> 00:15:27,853
(GIGGLING)
272
00:15:27,962 --> 00:15:29,429
It's a fake place.
273
00:15:29,531 --> 00:15:32,762
Cut to the chase, baldy.
When do I get my me back?
274
00:15:32,867 --> 00:15:35,427
Well, it could be months, or even years.
275
00:15:35,537 --> 00:15:38,404
No! That body's
the cornerstone of my marriage.
276
00:15:38,506 --> 00:15:40,167
What's LaBarbara going to do?
277
00:15:41,376 --> 00:15:43,173
She's going to go back
to her first husband.
278
00:15:43,278 --> 00:15:46,270
Barbados Slim? I love that guy.
279
00:15:48,049 --> 00:15:49,880
Everybody loves Slim.
280
00:15:49,984 --> 00:15:52,282
He's the only man to ever win
Olympic gold medals
281
00:15:52,387 --> 00:15:54,412
in both limbo and sex.
282
00:15:54,522 --> 00:15:56,183
Well, maybe I should get going.
283
00:15:56,291 --> 00:16:00,284
-Yes, I'll show you out.
-No, Leela will show him out.
284
00:16:00,395 --> 00:16:02,522
No, Leela will show you out.
285
00:16:02,897 --> 00:16:04,194
Me. Leela.
286
00:16:05,433 --> 00:16:07,765
So your friend, Fry, seems nice.
287
00:16:07,869 --> 00:16:09,427
-Are you and he dating?
-Nope.
288
00:16:09,537 --> 00:16:12,665
Good, because I was maybe thinking
of asking you out for dinner.
289
00:16:13,875 --> 00:16:17,834
I'll start maybe thinking about saying,
''Sure, when?''
290
00:16:17,946 --> 00:16:19,709
Let me maybe give it some thought.
291
00:16:19,814 --> 00:16:20,940
(BOTH LAUGHING)
292
00:16:21,049 --> 00:16:23,040
-Tomorrow at 8:00?
-Okay.
293
00:16:27,488 --> 00:16:31,982
It's no fair. I've loved Leela
since the day I came to the future.
294
00:16:32,093 --> 00:16:34,527
Did I show you the macaroni valentine
I made for her?
295
00:16:34,629 --> 00:16:35,618
Yes.
296
00:16:35,730 --> 00:16:37,129
Look at it again.
297
00:16:37,232 --> 00:16:40,827
I know she thinks I'm immature,
but someday I won't be.
298
00:16:40,935 --> 00:16:44,166
And deep down in my heart,
I know we'll end up together.
299
00:16:44,272 --> 00:16:46,604
It's all there in the macaroni.
300
00:16:46,708 --> 00:16:48,369
Lars asked me out.
301
00:16:53,014 --> 00:16:55,574
(ALL SNIFFING)
302
00:16:55,683 --> 00:16:59,813
-What are you doing, wonderful masters?
-Sprunjing for information.
303
00:17:04,492 --> 00:17:05,652
(EX CLAIMING)
304
00:17:07,629 --> 00:17:10,530
Oh! There's something here.
I can sprunje it.
305
00:17:11,132 --> 00:17:12,963
Robot, tear it open!
306
00:17:13,067 --> 00:17:15,160
Goody, goody, goody, goody!
307
00:17:20,208 --> 00:17:24,201
-What's that thing on your neck?
-Checking out my sprunjer, huh?
308
00:17:24,312 --> 00:17:26,143
I guess. What does it do?
309
00:17:26,247 --> 00:17:29,182
It's a special sense organ
our species possesses.
310
00:17:29,284 --> 00:17:31,479
It engorges in the presence of...
311
00:17:32,754 --> 00:17:34,187
Information.
312
00:17:34,289 --> 00:17:35,347
Lucky you.
313
00:17:35,456 --> 00:17:39,586
All I have is a gland
that gives off foul odors when I'm bored.
314
00:17:40,161 --> 00:17:41,219
(SPRAYING)
315
00:17:42,563 --> 00:17:43,723
(ALL GROANING)
316
00:17:46,401 --> 00:17:47,800
Hey, look, a safe!
317
00:17:47,902 --> 00:17:50,962
That's my safe. I call keep-offsies.
318
00:17:51,072 --> 00:17:52,699
No callsies! Open it!
319
00:17:52,807 --> 00:17:53,796
(BLOWING)
320
00:17:57,812 --> 00:18:01,248
It's a gold mine.
Tax forms, Social Security cards.
321
00:18:02,050 --> 00:18:04,610
Combination hair, blood
and stool samples.
322
00:18:05,153 --> 00:18:08,350
(ALL MOANING)
323
00:18:08,456 --> 00:18:11,687
I don't get it. How can you say Lars
is more mature than me?
324
00:18:11,793 --> 00:18:14,819
Well, for one thing,
his checkbook doesn't have the Hulk on it.
325
00:18:15,029 --> 00:18:19,466
(ALL MOANING)
326
00:18:20,268 --> 00:18:22,896
-Who are you?
-Philip J. Fry.
327
00:18:23,004 --> 00:18:27,134
Social Security Number 03280810?
Stool type, P-negative?
328
00:18:27,241 --> 00:18:28,640
That's right.
329
00:18:28,743 --> 00:18:31,610
I've never detected
so much information before.
330
00:18:31,713 --> 00:18:33,806
I think it may be a Level 87 code.
331
00:18:33,915 --> 00:18:34,973
(CHATTERING)
332
00:18:35,083 --> 00:18:37,517
Level 87? Can it be?
333
00:18:37,618 --> 00:18:41,714
I thought it was only a legend,
but the sprunjer never lies.
334
00:18:42,423 --> 00:18:45,392
(MOANING)
335
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:49,823
-It's in his pants!
-What the hell are you talking about?
336
00:18:59,707 --> 00:19:00,901
Faster, faster!
337
00:19:01,009 --> 00:19:03,637
I'm science-ing as fast as I can.
338
00:19:12,186 --> 00:19:14,313
What do you say, folks? Hot or not?
339
00:19:14,422 --> 00:19:17,721
I'm not seeing any information.
Do more things!
340
00:19:22,730 --> 00:19:24,197
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
341
00:19:24,298 --> 00:19:27,096
You, boogerbot,
read the code or I'll shoot this guy.
342
00:19:27,201 --> 00:19:30,762
-Who the hell is he?
-I'm Scruffy, the janitor.
343
00:19:30,872 --> 00:19:32,396
Hang on, Scruffy!
344
00:19:32,507 --> 00:19:35,738
''Zero, zero, one, one, zero, zero, zero,
one, zero, zero, one, zero,
345
00:19:35,843 --> 00:19:38,710
''zero, one, one, one, one, zero,
one, zero, zero, zero, zero,
346
00:19:38,813 --> 00:19:42,180
''one, one, zero, one, one, zero,
one, one, one, zero, zero, one, one.''
347
00:19:58,900 --> 00:20:00,458
A time sphere.
348
00:20:00,568 --> 00:20:02,763
Naked brothers, we have sprunjed
349
00:20:02,870 --> 00:20:05,930
upon the universal machine
language time code.
350
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,338
The key to time travel.
351
00:20:08,443 --> 00:20:09,933
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
352
00:20:10,044 --> 00:20:13,036
What's the secret of time travel doing
on Fry's ass?
353
00:20:13,147 --> 00:20:14,774
It was bound to be somewhere.
354
00:20:14,882 --> 00:20:19,114
Beyond this shimmering portal lie
all the glories of history.
355
00:20:19,220 --> 00:20:20,448
And we can steal them !
356
00:20:20,555 --> 00:20:24,423
We just go to the past and take stuff
with our superior weapons!
357
00:20:24,525 --> 00:20:28,086
(ALL LAUGHING)
358
00:20:29,697 --> 00:20:31,255
Stop, you fools.
359
00:20:32,333 --> 00:20:34,233
-What's going on?
-What is happening?
360
00:20:34,335 --> 00:20:36,769
Nibbler, you... You can talk?
361
00:20:36,871 --> 00:20:39,965
I can do more than talk. I can pontificate.
362
00:20:40,074 --> 00:20:42,235
You must not use the code of codes.
363
00:20:42,343 --> 00:20:46,040
With each and every use,
you risk tearing the universe asunder.
364
00:20:46,147 --> 00:20:48,877
Oh, he's so adorable.
365
00:20:49,050 --> 00:20:50,779
The poodle-monkey may be right.
366
00:20:50,885 --> 00:20:54,321
The legend warns that the code is
powerful and dangerous.
367
00:20:54,422 --> 00:20:56,014
My God.
368
00:20:56,124 --> 00:20:58,684
We'd better use it only three or four times.
Six, max.
369
00:20:58,793 --> 00:21:01,284
But even a single use could shatter
the universe.
370
00:21:01,395 --> 00:21:03,420
Got it. Two or three times.
371
00:21:03,531 --> 00:21:05,863
I see I have no choice.
372
00:21:06,567 --> 00:21:08,762
Nibblonians, attack!
373
00:21:12,006 --> 00:21:13,268
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
374
00:21:16,077 --> 00:21:17,874
Hey! That tickles.
375
00:21:22,550 --> 00:21:24,108
And the pitch!
376
00:21:25,553 --> 00:21:27,418
Mayday, mayday!
377
00:21:37,064 --> 00:21:38,691
Hey! Hey! Hey!
378
00:21:41,135 --> 00:21:42,966
NIBBLONIAN: Scamper!
379
00:21:48,910 --> 00:21:54,678
Alas, our kitten-class attack ships
were no match for their mighty chairs.
380
00:21:54,782 --> 00:21:57,546
The universe is doomed. Doomed!
381
00:21:57,652 --> 00:21:59,313
Can I pull up my pants now?
382
00:21:59,420 --> 00:22:01,513
Doomed!
383
00:22:06,694 --> 00:22:08,525
Stand back, you wing wangs.
384
00:22:08,629 --> 00:22:12,622
I'm gonna try out this time sphere
with a quick test drive to yesterday.
385
00:22:12,733 --> 00:22:17,864
Bushwa ! You can't go mucking about
in the past without creating paradoxes.
386
00:22:18,039 --> 00:22:21,975
I'm afraid he can.
It's a paradox-correcting time code.
387
00:22:22,076 --> 00:22:26,206
It all works perfectly.
Except when it rips open the universe!
388
00:22:26,314 --> 00:22:28,009
Don't do it. I beg you.
389
00:22:28,115 --> 00:22:31,016
(CHATTERING INAUDIBLY)
390
00:22:31,118 --> 00:22:33,780
Yesterday, please. And make it snappy!
391
00:22:34,488 --> 00:22:36,513
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
392
00:22:36,624 --> 00:22:38,114
-Hello!
-Howdy!
393
00:22:38,226 --> 00:22:39,454
-Say, what the...
-That's weird.
394
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:42,495
There was one, but now there's two.
395
00:22:42,597 --> 00:22:44,531
Nothing gets past you, eagle eye.
396
00:22:44,632 --> 00:22:48,329
I went back to last night
and met the ''me'' of that time for a drink.
397
00:22:48,436 --> 00:22:51,428
One thing led to another,
and we ended up at my place.
398
00:22:51,539 --> 00:22:54,337
Or should I say our place?
399
00:22:57,178 --> 00:22:59,146
Oh, come on, you bunch of prudes!
400
00:22:59,247 --> 00:23:03,013
This isn't merely revolting,
it's impossible to boot.
401
00:23:03,117 --> 00:23:05,915
I know a paradox when I see one.
402
00:23:09,757 --> 00:23:11,418
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
403
00:23:12,226 --> 00:23:15,662
Paradox resolved. Someone get a mop!
404
00:23:21,202 --> 00:23:22,897
(STEEL DRUMS SOUNDING)
405
00:23:26,073 --> 00:23:27,301
You're looking well, Pops.
406
00:23:27,408 --> 00:23:29,569
How can you look me in the eye-and-eye
and say that?
407
00:23:29,677 --> 00:23:33,477
I'm nothing but a brain.
A useless filthy brain!
408
00:23:33,581 --> 00:23:35,742
You forgot lice-infested.
409
00:23:35,850 --> 00:23:38,148
I didn't forget, I just chose not to...
410
00:23:38,386 --> 00:23:39,876
Barbados Slim?
411
00:23:41,422 --> 00:23:42,616
What are you doing here?
412
00:23:42,723 --> 00:23:45,089
Is there something going on
between you two?
413
00:23:45,192 --> 00:23:46,682
Oh, no. No, no, no.
414
00:23:46,794 --> 00:23:51,231
We just happened to run into each other
shortly after your accident.
415
00:23:51,332 --> 00:23:53,527
And every night since then.
416
00:23:53,768 --> 00:23:55,030
(BOTH LAUGHING)
417
00:23:55,136 --> 00:23:56,194
You're so crazy.
418
00:23:56,304 --> 00:23:58,101
Woman, no!
419
00:23:58,205 --> 00:24:02,107
Oh, who am I kidding?
Without my body, I'm a nobody.
420
00:24:02,209 --> 00:24:08,478
I'm sorry, Hermes. But look at Barbados.
You can't argue with those luscious pecs.
421
00:24:08,582 --> 00:24:09,947
No, I can't.
422
00:24:10,051 --> 00:24:13,077
But I can ask him to stop wiggling them
in my face.
423
00:24:13,187 --> 00:24:16,884
I'm not wiggling them.
They do that by themselves.
424
00:24:20,328 --> 00:24:23,957
I think I'll go back in time and steal
the Liberty Bell before it cracked.
425
00:24:24,065 --> 00:24:27,762
-Or is the crack the valuable part?
-I don't know, you naked crook!
426
00:24:27,868 --> 00:24:30,962
We have a problem, Nudar.
It's a one-way time code.
427
00:24:31,072 --> 00:24:34,735
It can take us to the past,
but it can't bring us back to the present!
428
00:24:36,577 --> 00:24:39,671
Masters, if I might?
Let me do the stealing.
429
00:24:39,780 --> 00:24:43,807
I'll go to the past and snatch everything
I can get my greasy mitts on.
430
00:24:43,918 --> 00:24:47,581
Then, as a robot,
I can just wait it out for a few centuries
431
00:24:47,688 --> 00:24:50,020
in the limestone cavern
beneath this building.
432
00:24:50,124 --> 00:24:52,524
Oh, it'll be ever so much fun!
433
00:24:52,626 --> 00:24:54,025
Hey, that's perfect.
434
00:24:54,128 --> 00:24:56,961
We sit back and let
dumb-dumb here do the stealing.
435
00:24:57,064 --> 00:24:59,123
Dumb-dumb away!
436
00:24:59,767 --> 00:25:01,394
Zero, zero, one, one, zero, zero...
437
00:25:01,502 --> 00:25:02,526
(GASPING)
438
00:25:02,636 --> 00:25:04,365
(BENDER RECITING
TIME CODE QUICKLY)
439
00:25:04,472 --> 00:25:05,700
Yup!
440
00:25:09,143 --> 00:25:10,701
The Mona Lisa!
441
00:25:10,811 --> 00:25:12,574
Sorry, it's not quite finished.
442
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:14,079
Da Vinci give you any trouble?
443
00:25:14,181 --> 00:25:17,548
Let's just say he may not
make it to The Last Supper.
444
00:25:17,651 --> 00:25:18,777
(LAUGHING)
445
00:25:18,886 --> 00:25:22,447
Preposterous twaddlecock!
Time travel is impossible.
446
00:25:22,556 --> 00:25:24,285
But, Professor, you time-traveled yourself.
447
00:25:24,392 --> 00:25:26,326
Remember,
when we went back to Roswell?
448
00:25:26,427 --> 00:25:27,860
That proves nothing.
449
00:25:27,962 --> 00:25:31,193
And, furthermore, you'd think
I'd remember a thing like that.
450
00:25:31,298 --> 00:25:33,232
Plus, who are you, anyway?
451
00:25:33,334 --> 00:25:37,896
-Man, this is fun on a bun! Here I go again!
-Oh, no, you don't!
452
00:25:38,005 --> 00:25:38,972
Zero, zero, one, one...
453
00:25:39,073 --> 00:25:40,665
(BENDER RECITING
TIME CODE QUICKLY)
454
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:46,869
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
455
00:25:47,114 --> 00:25:49,639
Scarab, forearm, bird, bird, bird.
456
00:25:53,287 --> 00:25:54,254
(LAUGHING)
457
00:25:54,355 --> 00:25:56,323
No, it's just me, Bender.
458
00:25:58,826 --> 00:26:00,817
I must tell you, Hedonismbot,
459
00:26:00,928 --> 00:26:05,092
I hate to sell my doomsday devices
to a private collector.
460
00:26:05,199 --> 00:26:09,192
But with my business stolen,
I have to make ends meet.
461
00:26:09,303 --> 00:26:10,702
You will be careful?
462
00:26:10,805 --> 00:26:15,606
I shan't touch them till I've had Jambi
lock the absinthe and ether away.
463
00:26:15,709 --> 00:26:20,669
-Oh! What does this one do?
-That one kills everything everywhere.
464
00:26:21,315 --> 00:26:24,216
How delightful. And this one?
465
00:26:24,318 --> 00:26:27,151
Sir, the spheroboom is not for sale.
466
00:26:29,356 --> 00:26:31,722
It's my sentimental favorite.
467
00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:37,126
No need to explain.
I, too, have known unconventional love.
468
00:26:37,231 --> 00:26:40,291
Perhaps you and I and Jambi
could get together
469
00:26:40,401 --> 00:26:42,130
and compare notes sometime, eh?
470
00:26:42,369 --> 00:26:43,393
(CHUCKLING)
471
00:26:46,540 --> 00:26:50,943
Resulting in peace between
East and West Coast rappers...
472
00:26:51,445 --> 00:26:52,742
Good God!
473
00:26:53,147 --> 00:26:56,776
I accept this Nobel Peace Prize
not just for myself,
474
00:26:56,884 --> 00:26:59,853
but for crime robots everywhere. Skoal!
475
00:27:01,622 --> 00:27:02,646
(ALL CHEERING)
476
00:27:09,630 --> 00:27:10,722
(EX CLAIMING)
477
00:27:10,831 --> 00:27:12,958
Not so neutral now, are you, Sweden?
478
00:27:18,472 --> 00:27:20,633
(BENDER LAUGHING)
479
00:27:27,181 --> 00:27:29,706
Be honest with me.
Does my eye look monstery?
480
00:27:29,817 --> 00:27:32,081
I don't want to look monstery
for my date with Lars.
481
00:27:32,186 --> 00:27:34,120
At least a monster has a body.
482
00:27:34,221 --> 00:27:38,487
What I wouldn't give for Wolf Man's torso,
or any of the Groovie Goolies.
483
00:27:39,126 --> 00:27:43,085
I think I'll wear that slutty dress
I've been saving for Easter.
484
00:27:44,064 --> 00:27:47,932
I'd like to punch Lars right
in his ruggedly good-looking face.
485
00:27:48,669 --> 00:27:52,799
(SNORING)
486
00:27:53,307 --> 00:27:56,743
Like all rich people, we're gonna need
weapons to shoot poor people.
487
00:27:56,844 --> 00:27:59,108
-In self-defense?
-Yes, that, too.
488
00:27:59,213 --> 00:28:02,114
Bender, go steal the doomsday device
chained to the professor's wrist.
489
00:28:02,216 --> 00:28:03,308
Never!
490
00:28:03,751 --> 00:28:07,448
(LAUGHING) I'm kidding. You guys know
I have to do whatever you say.
491
00:28:07,555 --> 00:28:11,651
-Here, swap this for the real one.
-The old switcheroo.
492
00:28:11,759 --> 00:28:13,659
Yes, but don't wake him.
493
00:28:13,761 --> 00:28:16,127
You'll need jeweler's tools
and foot-cup silencers.
494
00:28:16,230 --> 00:28:18,824
Hey. I don't tell you how
to tell me what to do,
495
00:28:18,933 --> 00:28:21,834
so don't tell me how to do
what you tell me to do.
496
00:28:21,936 --> 00:28:24,871
Bender knows when to use finesse.
497
00:28:26,273 --> 00:28:29,140
-Here you go.
-Put it in the safe, clanky.
498
00:28:30,477 --> 00:28:31,466
(WINDOW BREAKING)
499
00:28:31,579 --> 00:28:32,603
(ZOIDBERG EX CLAIMING)
500
00:28:34,915 --> 00:28:36,610
It's the damnedest thing.
501
00:28:36,717 --> 00:28:40,312
There I was in the dumpster,
enjoying a moldy Fudgsicle,
502
00:28:40,421 --> 00:28:43,788
when suddenly your hand flies
over and slaps me in the toches.
503
00:28:43,891 --> 00:28:46,587
Yes, well, these things happen.
504
00:28:46,694 --> 00:28:50,255
Fortunately, the spheroboom is still safe.
505
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:56,902
Scammed? Me? Sweetheart?
506
00:28:57,004 --> 00:28:58,028
(GROANING)
507
00:28:59,039 --> 00:29:00,631
(GIGGLING)
508
00:29:00,741 --> 00:29:02,936
You do a nice hand job, Zoidberg.
509
00:29:03,043 --> 00:29:07,275
Tell me, if I could find an undamaged body,
could you recapitate me?
510
00:29:07,381 --> 00:29:09,008
Hermes, I'm a surgeon.
511
00:29:09,116 --> 00:29:10,413
When I see two body parts,
512
00:29:10,517 --> 00:29:13,247
I sew them together
and see what happens.
513
00:29:14,989 --> 00:29:16,854
All I'm asking is for you to go back in time
514
00:29:16,957 --> 00:29:19,551
to when I still had my body
and bring it back for me.
515
00:29:19,660 --> 00:29:22,959
-What do I do with your old head?
-I don't care in the slightest.
516
00:29:23,063 --> 00:29:24,223
Can do!
517
00:29:27,568 --> 00:29:30,230
-Come on, man!
-Hermes, please!
518
00:29:30,337 --> 00:29:32,737
You can't hurry
a delicate operation like this.
519
00:29:33,173 --> 00:29:34,265
(EX CLAIMING)
520
00:29:39,413 --> 00:29:40,937
What are those?
521
00:29:41,582 --> 00:29:43,641
You incompetent crab!
522
00:29:43,751 --> 00:29:46,948
I thought you were happy.
Your tail was wagging.
523
00:29:49,690 --> 00:29:51,885
(WHOOPING)
524
00:29:55,496 --> 00:29:59,728
I believe this paradoxicality
equation to be unsolvable.
525
00:29:59,833 --> 00:30:02,358
Ergo, time travel is impossible.
526
00:30:02,469 --> 00:30:04,528
But I can't quite prove it, Bubblegum.
527
00:30:04,638 --> 00:30:08,335
Perhaps you and your razzle-dazzle
Globetrotter calculus could...
528
00:30:08,442 --> 00:30:10,876
Looks pretty damn solvable to me, Farnsy.
529
00:30:10,978 --> 00:30:15,108
Sweet Clyde, use variation of parameters
and expand the Wronskian.
530
00:30:18,385 --> 00:30:22,151
(WHISTLING HARLEM
GLOBETROTTERS THEME)
531
00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:28,052
Shizz, baby.
532
00:30:28,162 --> 00:30:31,859
So paradox-free time travel
is possible after all.
533
00:30:31,965 --> 00:30:34,763
Right on. But dig this multiplicand here.
534
00:30:34,868 --> 00:30:39,134
The ''doom field''? That must be
what corrects the paradoxes.
535
00:30:39,239 --> 00:30:41,366
But that mama rises exponentially.
536
00:30:41,475 --> 00:30:44,410
It could rupture
the very fabric of causality.
537
00:30:44,511 --> 00:30:47,139
That's what I've been trying to tell you.
538
00:30:47,247 --> 00:30:48,908
(WHOOPING)
539
00:30:50,217 --> 00:30:51,548
(HERMES PANTING)
540
00:30:51,652 --> 00:30:53,813
Hermes! You got your body back.
541
00:30:55,322 --> 00:30:57,483
Yes, but not the original.
542
00:30:57,591 --> 00:30:59,889
Bender went back in time
and picked up a copy.
543
00:30:59,993 --> 00:31:02,587
A copy? Funky cold medina !
544
00:31:02,696 --> 00:31:05,426
According to this equation,
a time-travel duplicate
545
00:31:05,532 --> 00:31:09,127
results in a complex denominator
in the causality ratio.
546
00:31:09,236 --> 00:31:13,002
-Oh, snap! You know what that means.
-I can guess.
547
00:31:13,774 --> 00:31:15,571
Actually, I can't guess.
548
00:31:15,676 --> 00:31:18,406
Prof, you got a doom meter in this lab?
549
00:31:19,780 --> 00:31:21,509
(CRACKLING)
550
00:31:21,615 --> 00:31:23,276
Good Lord, Bubblegum.
551
00:31:23,383 --> 00:31:28,013
The duplicate body is emitting doom
at 10 times the background level.
552
00:31:28,122 --> 00:31:31,922
I thought as much.
A duplicate body is always doomed.
553
00:31:32,025 --> 00:31:33,549
It's just a matter of time.
554
00:31:33,660 --> 00:31:37,653
I don't care. I just need it long enough
to bird-dog in and win LaBarbara back.
555
00:31:37,765 --> 00:31:42,202
-Best bird-dog fast, my brother.
-That's the way I bird-dog best.
556
00:31:45,606 --> 00:31:47,471
(LAUGHING)
557
00:31:47,574 --> 00:31:50,008
Drink, quick!
I can't balance it much longer.
558
00:31:50,110 --> 00:31:51,577
Wait, I...
559
00:31:52,045 --> 00:31:53,205
Yes!
560
00:31:53,313 --> 00:31:55,440
Oh, this is so much fun, Lars.
561
00:31:55,549 --> 00:31:57,244
Most men are intimidated by the fact
562
00:31:57,351 --> 00:31:59,444
that I could kill them
with a flick of my wrist.
563
00:31:59,553 --> 00:32:02,454
Well, not me, 'cause if you do,
you'll be stuck with the check.
564
00:32:02,556 --> 00:32:03,818
(LAUGHING)
565
00:32:03,924 --> 00:32:06,415
Folks, you care for
a little fresh ground Executive?
566
00:32:06,527 --> 00:32:08,119
Please.
567
00:32:16,770 --> 00:32:20,536
Don't get excited, kids.
This thing's got heart-shaped nostrils.
568
00:32:20,641 --> 00:32:21,835
Want to see it make a star?
569
00:32:21,942 --> 00:32:22,931
-No!
-No!
570
00:32:33,987 --> 00:32:35,011
(BOTH EX CLAIMING)
571
00:32:42,196 --> 00:32:43,220
(EX CLAIMING)
572
00:32:48,635 --> 00:32:49,602
(EX CLAIMING)
573
00:32:51,438 --> 00:32:52,462
(ENGINE STARTING)
574
00:33:14,328 --> 00:33:15,352
(EX CLAIMING)
575
00:33:19,466 --> 00:33:20,524
(INHALING)
576
00:33:31,511 --> 00:33:32,739
(SCREAMING)
577
00:33:33,513 --> 00:33:37,574
Here's your Gutenberg Bible, masters.
Plus, the Colonel's secret recipe.
578
00:33:37,684 --> 00:33:39,083
(BENDER READING)
579
00:33:39,186 --> 00:33:43,145
Well, that does it.
We've got every valuable object in history.
580
00:33:44,124 --> 00:33:45,148
(EX CLAIMING)
581
00:33:46,493 --> 00:33:49,587
Now that I'm rich, I suddenly care
if the universe gets destroyed.
582
00:33:49,696 --> 00:33:52,028
We can't use
that dangerous time code again.
583
00:33:52,132 --> 00:33:54,066
Blank it from the robot's memory.
584
00:33:55,168 --> 00:33:58,194
I'll vaporize this guy so his ass
doesn't fall into the wrong hands.
585
00:33:58,305 --> 00:33:59,272
(EX CLAIMING)
586
00:33:59,373 --> 00:34:01,068
Why don't you just remove my tattoo?
587
00:34:01,174 --> 00:34:03,404
Nice try,
but you might have memorized it.
588
00:34:03,510 --> 00:34:04,499
No, I mightn't.
589
00:34:04,611 --> 00:34:07,011
I can't even remember
my mother's maiden name.
590
00:34:07,114 --> 00:34:08,638
It's Gleissner.
591
00:34:10,951 --> 00:34:13,886
Stupid naked aliens. Stupid Lars.
592
00:34:13,987 --> 00:34:15,614
I hate the future.
593
00:34:21,728 --> 00:34:24,993
Man, that cube root was
a real buzzer-beater, Clyde.
594
00:34:25,632 --> 00:34:30,467
Zero, one, one, one, zero, zero, one, one!
595
00:34:32,606 --> 00:34:33,630
Blast him !
596
00:34:33,740 --> 00:34:34,798
(EX CLAIMING)
597
00:34:38,512 --> 00:34:41,140
You missed. Oh, great master.
598
00:34:49,890 --> 00:34:51,255
Hello, 2000.
599
00:34:51,758 --> 00:34:53,089
I'm home.
600
00:34:53,193 --> 00:34:55,491
MAN: Happy New Year, naked weirdo!
601
00:34:56,163 --> 00:34:57,824
Happy New Year.
602
00:35:03,003 --> 00:35:05,369
Well, we'll never know
where the ass guy went,
603
00:35:05,472 --> 00:35:08,498
and since we can't kill him,
I say live and let live.
604
00:35:08,842 --> 00:35:10,469
That's sweet, boss.
605
00:35:10,577 --> 00:35:13,239
Fry'll be nice and cozy
back in the year 2000.
606
00:35:13,347 --> 00:35:15,872
What? How do you know
he went to the year 2000?
607
00:35:15,983 --> 00:35:17,848
That's where he always goes.
608
00:35:18,518 --> 00:35:22,113
Better play it safe.
Go there a little earlier and wait for him.
609
00:35:22,222 --> 00:35:24,281
You know what to do.
610
00:35:24,391 --> 00:35:28,691
You want me to concludify him
like some sort of dispatcherator?
611
00:35:28,795 --> 00:35:31,457
-Yes, and don't forget to terminate him.
-Got it.
612
00:35:31,565 --> 00:35:35,262
Preparing to terminate Philip Fry.
613
00:35:35,369 --> 00:35:37,360
What's with the doofy sunglasses?
614
00:35:37,471 --> 00:35:39,564
It's really bright in the past.
615
00:35:39,673 --> 00:35:41,903
(QUICKLY) Zero, zero, one, one, zero...
616
00:35:50,217 --> 00:35:53,118
Okay, Fry. Come to papa.
617
00:35:55,455 --> 00:35:56,945
Man, I'm bored.
618
00:36:06,199 --> 00:36:07,894
Hey, there you are.
619
00:36:09,870 --> 00:36:13,306
Oh, wait.
That's Fry before he goes to the future.
620
00:36:13,407 --> 00:36:16,843
I'm waiting for the one
who comes back from the future.
621
00:36:17,544 --> 00:36:18,943
Jeez, this is confusing.
622
00:36:19,379 --> 00:36:22,507
And I bet it's gonna get
a lot more confusing.
623
00:36:22,716 --> 00:36:24,308
(SLOSHING)
624
00:36:25,118 --> 00:36:27,450
That cheap beer
really goes right through you.
625
00:36:27,554 --> 00:36:30,114
For the first time ever,
I gotta use the bathroom.
626
00:36:30,223 --> 00:36:31,884
But if I leave, I might miss Fry.
627
00:36:31,992 --> 00:36:32,981
(GASPING)
628
00:36:33,093 --> 00:36:34,390
Unless...
629
00:36:35,162 --> 00:36:37,153
(QUICKLY) Zero, zero,
one, one, zero, zero...
630
00:36:40,834 --> 00:36:43,667
And I bet it's gonna get
a lot more confusing.
631
00:36:43,770 --> 00:36:44,862
(EX CLAIMING)
632
00:36:44,971 --> 00:36:48,065
Hi, I'm you from 19 seconds in the future.
633
00:36:48,175 --> 00:36:50,973
Stay here and wait for Fry
while I go to the bathroom.
634
00:36:51,078 --> 00:36:52,409
Okay, boss.
635
00:36:52,512 --> 00:36:54,605
After I kill Fry, you're next.
636
00:36:54,714 --> 00:36:56,341
-What?
-Nothing.
637
00:36:59,386 --> 00:37:01,081
What the... Who are you?
638
00:37:01,188 --> 00:37:02,951
I'm Bender from way at the end.
639
00:37:03,056 --> 00:37:06,321
I came back to put
this rub-on time code on Fry's ass.
640
00:37:06,426 --> 00:37:08,326
So what are you now, a butler?
641
00:37:08,728 --> 00:37:10,992
Spot of tea, please, jerk wad.
642
00:37:11,098 --> 00:37:13,623
It's called class, you yokel.
643
00:37:13,733 --> 00:37:17,999
Now if you'll excuse me,
I have a buttocks to tattoo.
644
00:37:28,715 --> 00:37:30,080
Hello, 2000.
645
00:37:30,584 --> 00:37:31,846
I’m home.
646
00:37:32,018 --> 00:37:34,282
MAN: Happy New Year, naked weirdo!
647
00:37:34,855 --> 00:37:36,447
Happy New Year.
648
00:37:37,924 --> 00:37:38,982
(EX CLAIMING)
649
00:37:39,092 --> 00:37:41,253
Hasta Ia vista, meat bag.
650
00:37:42,062 --> 00:37:45,520
Bender? What are you doing?
It’s me, your best friend.
651
00:37:46,099 --> 00:37:48,533
Must obey orders.
652
00:37:48,635 --> 00:37:49,624
(EX CLAIMING)
653
00:37:49,736 --> 00:37:51,931
Mustn't kill friend.
654
00:37:52,105 --> 00:37:53,231
(GROANING)
655
00:37:53,340 --> 00:37:56,468
Badly want to urinate!
656
00:37:57,077 --> 00:38:01,810
-What's happening? Are you urinating?
-Entering auto-destruct sequence.
657
00:38:01,915 --> 00:38:04,816
Crap, I hate auto-destruct sequence.
658
00:38:04,918 --> 00:38:07,409
Explosion in seven, six...
659
00:38:10,023 --> 00:38:12,651
lt'll be a cold day in hell, my friend.
660
00:38:12,826 --> 00:38:16,626
Five... Hey, I’m supposed to be
the one saying cool things.
661
00:38:19,866 --> 00:38:22,300
(HUMMING)
662
00:38:22,402 --> 00:38:23,391
(ELEVATOR BELL DlNGlNG)
663
00:38:23,503 --> 00:38:24,561
Hey!
664
00:38:24,971 --> 00:38:27,735
(PANTlNG)
665
00:38:28,508 --> 00:38:31,102
So the game
of cat and mouse begins, huh?
666
00:38:31,211 --> 00:38:32,906
Let us match wits.
667
00:38:34,247 --> 00:38:36,943
Oh, how am I supposed to find him?
668
00:38:37,050 --> 00:38:41,009
All those times he blabbed on and on
about his life in the 20th century,
669
00:38:41,121 --> 00:38:44,522
if only I had paid
the slightest bit of attention.
670
00:38:44,624 --> 00:38:46,854
Oh, well, guess I better go kill myself.
671
00:38:46,993 --> 00:38:48,392
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
672
00:38:54,467 --> 00:38:55,866
Hello, bartender?
673
00:38:55,969 --> 00:38:59,461
I have thought it over,
and far from being a fat pig,
674
00:38:59,573 --> 00:39:02,701
you are very nice,
and I would like another drink...
675
00:39:02,809 --> 00:39:04,538
Take a barf, drunky.
676
00:39:05,545 --> 00:39:08,810
Okay, suicide booth,
give me your best shot.
677
00:39:09,616 --> 00:39:12,551
Electrocution, please. Side order of poison.
678
00:39:16,223 --> 00:39:19,488
Hello? Kill me, you stupid machine.
679
00:39:20,227 --> 00:39:23,355
What the... ''Local calls 50 cents''?
680
00:39:24,264 --> 00:39:27,028
It’s a street-corner telephone parlor.
681
00:39:27,133 --> 00:39:30,398
What kind of horrible
suicide-free time is this?
682
00:39:31,004 --> 00:39:32,301
Wait a minute.
683
00:39:32,505 --> 00:39:36,703
Maybe this handy encyclopedia
of humans will help me track Fry down.
684
00:39:38,345 --> 00:39:40,006
Fry, Fry, Fry.
685
00:39:40,580 --> 00:39:42,207
One of these Frys must be Fry.
686
00:39:43,083 --> 00:39:47,281
Look out, Philip Fry,
'cause I got a little present for you.
687
00:39:47,387 --> 00:39:50,288
My name is Philip Fry.
Where's my present?
688
00:39:51,925 --> 00:39:56,089
Hang on a second, Fry.
I don't remember you being that ugly.
689
00:39:56,196 --> 00:39:58,721
No, no, I’ve always been this ugly.
690
00:39:59,733 --> 00:40:01,496
Let me see your ass.
691
00:40:03,069 --> 00:40:05,902
No tattoo. Okay, you can go.
692
00:40:06,006 --> 00:40:07,473
Farewell, sir.
693
00:40:11,878 --> 00:40:12,936
(GIGGLING)
694
00:40:13,513 --> 00:40:14,571
(EX CLAIMING)
695
00:40:14,681 --> 00:40:16,410
Say your prayers, Fry.
696
00:40:16,516 --> 00:40:19,747
This isn't Fry.
I kicked Fry out two hours ago.
697
00:40:19,853 --> 00:40:21,980
This is my new boyfriend...
698
00:40:22,555 --> 00:40:26,082
-Constantine.
-Really? That's a dumb name.
699
00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:30,987
Could be a trick.
Let me see your ass, Constantine.
700
00:40:32,198 --> 00:40:35,133
Oh, nice. Now I see why she left Fry.
701
00:40:37,137 --> 00:40:38,604
(DOORBELL RINGING)
702
00:40:40,607 --> 00:40:42,404
(SCREAMING)
703
00:40:43,109 --> 00:40:46,306
Okay, you're still clean.
I mean, metaphorically.
704
00:40:47,681 --> 00:40:51,583
He must have left the city.
Man, this could take all day.
705
00:41:00,527 --> 00:41:02,586
MAN: You guys wouldn't know a chad
if it was taped to your...
706
00:41:02,696 --> 00:41:05,290
-The returns are looking good, Mr. Gore.
-Thanks, Phil.
707
00:41:05,398 --> 00:41:08,561
Here's to four years
of clean air, clean government,
708
00:41:08,668 --> 00:41:11,603
and amazing new technologies
such as the...
709
00:41:11,705 --> 00:41:13,036
Robot!
710
00:41:13,139 --> 00:41:14,470
Philip Fry?
711
00:41:25,051 --> 00:41:27,349
NARRA TOR.: 12 years passed.
712
00:41:27,454 --> 00:41:29,752
Then, this.
713
00:41:45,472 --> 00:41:47,133
Philip J. Fry?
714
00:41:47,240 --> 00:41:50,368
Phil, some kind of trash can
here to see you.
715
00:41:50,477 --> 00:41:51,842
He's coming.
716
00:41:52,679 --> 00:41:54,806
Are you made of Tinkertoy?
717
00:41:55,715 --> 00:41:58,707
It’s been 12 years.
Maybe I’m getting taller.
718
00:41:58,818 --> 00:42:00,445
You're not getting smarter.
719
00:42:00,553 --> 00:42:03,852
Listen, pipsqueak,
are you Philip J. Fry or not?
720
00:42:03,957 --> 00:42:06,653
'Cause if you are, I’m here to kill you.
721
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:08,728
I’d like to see you try.
722
00:42:09,829 --> 00:42:10,853
(SCREAMING)
723
00:42:10,964 --> 00:42:13,057
You want Uncle Phil.
724
00:42:13,166 --> 00:42:15,862
He went to the North Pole
on a fishing boat.
725
00:42:15,969 --> 00:42:18,870
The North Pole! I was just there.
726
00:42:23,543 --> 00:42:27,274
One ticket to the North Pole, please.
Broom-closet class.
727
00:42:28,114 --> 00:42:29,138
Fry?
728
00:42:30,850 --> 00:42:32,784
lf only I could be sure.
729
00:42:35,989 --> 00:42:37,320
lt is Fry.
730
00:42:37,424 --> 00:42:40,188
I’d recognize me,
and hence him, anywhere.
731
00:42:46,199 --> 00:42:47,188
Follow that guy.
732
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:48,890
There's an extra 100 in it for you
733
00:42:49,002 --> 00:42:51,197
if you follow him so closely
that you run him over.
734
00:42:51,304 --> 00:42:52,271
Yes, sir.
735
00:42:54,107 --> 00:42:55,165
(GORE EX CLAIMING)
736
00:42:56,309 --> 00:42:57,298
(CAR HONKlNG)
737
00:42:57,410 --> 00:42:58,468
(EX CLAIMING)
738
00:43:01,848 --> 00:43:04,373
(BOTH SCREAMING)
739
00:43:06,019 --> 00:43:07,577
(BOTH EX CLAIMING)
740
00:43:16,162 --> 00:43:19,222
(BENDER SCREAMING)
741
00:43:20,500 --> 00:43:25,301
Dang! That $100 could have bought me
one gallon of gas.
742
00:43:34,180 --> 00:43:35,670
(BENDER SCREAMING)
743
00:43:37,951 --> 00:43:39,816
(GROANING)
744
00:43:40,720 --> 00:43:44,315
Oh, I lost him. People will call me a failure.
745
00:43:44,424 --> 00:43:45,448
(WlNDOW OPENlNG)
746
00:43:46,826 --> 00:43:51,354
Others, however, will call me
the world's sexiest killing machine,
747
00:43:51,464 --> 00:43:53,227
who's fun at parties.
748
00:43:55,034 --> 00:43:57,366
Fry, old buddy. It’s me, Bender.
749
00:44:06,613 --> 00:44:08,342
I totally killed him !
750
00:44:08,448 --> 00:44:11,246
(LAUGHING)
751
00:44:11,351 --> 00:44:13,842
(SOBBING)
752
00:44:13,953 --> 00:44:16,786
Oh, God, what have I done?
753
00:44:21,594 --> 00:44:25,121
Preparing to terminate Philip Fry.
754
00:44:25,231 --> 00:44:27,096
What's with the doofy sunglasses?
755
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:29,532
It’s really bright in the past.
756
00:44:29,636 --> 00:44:31,866
(QUlCKLY) Zero, zero, one, one, zero...
757
00:44:35,875 --> 00:44:36,967
(SOBBING)
758
00:44:37,076 --> 00:44:38,839
Mission accomplished.
759
00:44:38,945 --> 00:44:40,105
Fry is dead?
760
00:44:40,213 --> 00:44:42,374
No other robot could've done it.
761
00:44:42,482 --> 00:44:45,383
lt took 12 years of tireless stalking,
762
00:44:45,485 --> 00:44:48,750
but I hunted down and killed
my best friend.
763
00:44:49,088 --> 00:44:50,112
(SOBBING)
764
00:44:50,223 --> 00:44:51,713
I’m the greatest!
765
00:44:51,824 --> 00:44:52,813
(BEEPlNG)
766
00:44:52,926 --> 00:44:55,827
COMPUTER.: Time code
and obedience virus erased.
767
00:44:56,362 --> 00:44:58,830
AIso, 50 terabytes of porn.
768
00:44:58,932 --> 00:45:00,365
Hey!
769
00:45:00,466 --> 00:45:03,196
You've got no code, no porn,
and you're ugly.
770
00:45:03,303 --> 00:45:04,736
Let's dance!
771
00:45:05,138 --> 00:45:07,106
Nuh-nuh-nuh
Nuh-nuh-nuh
772
00:45:15,748 --> 00:45:17,739
Now, it's true, we'll all miss Fry.
773
00:45:17,850 --> 00:45:20,216
He was the only one of you
who never struck me!
774
00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:23,847
And we'll never see his boyish smile
and hair horn again.
775
00:45:23,957 --> 00:45:25,948
But I bet he went back to his own time.
776
00:45:26,059 --> 00:45:29,495
I’m sure he was very happy
and lived to a ripe old age.
777
00:45:29,596 --> 00:45:31,120
He wasn't and he didn't!
778
00:45:31,230 --> 00:45:32,492
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
779
00:45:32,599 --> 00:45:37,764
Struggling alone against incredible odds,
I, Bender, managed to kill him.
780
00:45:38,071 --> 00:45:40,539
(SOBBING)
781
00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:43,871
I blew him to mush
like a midget in a microwave.
782
00:45:44,043 --> 00:45:45,670
(SOBBING)
783
00:45:45,778 --> 00:45:46,972
(ALL GROANING)
784
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:49,344
Oh, don't blame yourself, Bender.
785
00:45:49,449 --> 00:45:52,646
I don't blame myself. I blame all of you!
786
00:45:52,752 --> 00:45:55,312
Us? How can you possibly blame us?
787
00:45:55,421 --> 00:45:58,584
lt ain't easy. lt just proves how great I am.
788
00:45:58,691 --> 00:45:59,680
(SOBBING)
789
00:45:59,792 --> 00:46:00,850
Fry!
790
00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:04,020
I’d give anything to un-murder you!
791
00:46:04,130 --> 00:46:06,189
-Did someone call me?
-No!
792
00:46:06,833 --> 00:46:07,993
Fry?
793
00:46:08,101 --> 00:46:09,261
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
794
00:46:11,471 --> 00:46:15,305
But I killed you in 2012. Unless...
795
00:46:16,009 --> 00:46:17,601
Nope, he's not a zombie.
796
00:46:17,710 --> 00:46:19,200
(ALL CHEERING)
797
00:46:19,312 --> 00:46:22,440
-Welcome back, Fry.
-Thank you, Lars.
798
00:46:22,548 --> 00:46:24,948
I... I’ll see you later, honey.
799
00:46:26,519 --> 00:46:30,478
So tell us, Fry,
if Bender killed you centuries ago,
800
00:46:30,590 --> 00:46:33,718
how in Satan's glorious name
did you return?
801
00:46:33,826 --> 00:46:37,125
Oh, it's an astonishing tale
of incredibleness.
802
00:46:37,230 --> 00:46:40,791
lt all began when I went back in time.
803
00:46:41,734 --> 00:46:42,701
Duh!
804
00:46:50,209 --> 00:46:51,403
Oh, hey, Mr. Panucci.
805
00:46:51,511 --> 00:46:53,638
I’m back from that delivery
to the cryogenic lab.
806
00:46:53,746 --> 00:46:57,238
Great, I’ll put you on the cover
of Big Whoop magazine.
807
00:46:57,784 --> 00:47:01,880
-I’m starving. Can I have a slice?
-Help yourself. Cash up front.
808
00:47:03,923 --> 00:47:06,255
This note is IegaI tender.
809
00:47:06,359 --> 00:47:07,417
(GROWLING)
810
00:47:08,628 --> 00:47:11,324
FRY.: UnfortunateIy,
I had no money from that era.
811
00:47:11,431 --> 00:47:15,060
But that's when it hit me.
I knew where to find free pizza.
812
00:47:19,172 --> 00:47:20,161
(GROANING)
813
00:47:20,273 --> 00:47:21,501
lce cold.
814
00:47:21,607 --> 00:47:23,097
FRY.: That's when it hit me again.
815
00:47:23,209 --> 00:47:26,235
But an hour ago,
this pizza's still lukewarm !
816
00:47:27,313 --> 00:47:29,372
''Zero, zero, one, one, zero...''
817
00:47:36,489 --> 00:47:38,787
Explosion in seven, six...
818
00:47:41,461 --> 00:47:44,225
lt'll be a cold day in hell, my friend.
819
00:47:44,330 --> 00:47:47,993
Five... Hey, I’m supposed to be
the one saying cool things.
820
00:47:49,302 --> 00:47:52,294
-Nice kick, me.
-Thanks. What are you doing here?
821
00:47:52,405 --> 00:47:55,203
One hour from now,
I travel back in time for free pizza.
822
00:47:55,308 --> 00:47:57,572
But Nibbler said not to use the time code.
823
00:47:57,677 --> 00:48:00,646
Fine, Mr. Responsible, don't use the code.
824
00:48:02,181 --> 00:48:04,046
That pizza sure was good.
825
00:48:04,150 --> 00:48:06,015
-You pig.
-Whatever.
826
00:48:06,619 --> 00:48:09,383
FRY.: That's when it hit me yet a third time.
827
00:48:09,489 --> 00:48:10,547
You idiot!
828
00:48:10,656 --> 00:48:14,092
Frozen me's still got a wallet
full of old-timey money.
829
00:48:16,896 --> 00:48:19,091
Yuck! I touched my own butt!
830
00:48:37,950 --> 00:48:40,851
So I unfroze 10 minutes ago,
and I walked over here,
831
00:48:40,953 --> 00:48:43,581
and then it was now,
and then I don't know what happened.
832
00:48:43,689 --> 00:48:45,213
Well, I’m glad you're alive,
833
00:48:45,324 --> 00:48:47,758
but I don't want people to say
I’m incompetent,
834
00:48:47,860 --> 00:48:50,385
so I better kill you again. Hold still.
835
00:48:50,496 --> 00:48:53,021
Bender! Stop killing for a minute!
836
00:48:53,132 --> 00:48:56,033
The Fry you murdered
was doomed anyway.
837
00:48:56,135 --> 00:48:57,261
See?
838
00:48:58,571 --> 00:48:59,902
What have you got there? Numbers?
839
00:49:00,006 --> 00:49:03,169
Here, when the time code duplicates
a living thing,
840
00:49:03,276 --> 00:49:05,836
the copy is always doomed.
841
00:49:05,945 --> 00:49:08,505
And that includes
flabby Jamaican pot-bellies.
842
00:49:08,614 --> 00:49:10,343
Kiss my front-butt.
843
00:49:11,017 --> 00:49:14,043
So my copy lived 12 years
before Bender murdered him?
844
00:49:14,153 --> 00:49:15,620
Brutally murdered.
845
00:49:15,721 --> 00:49:17,712
I wonder what his life was like.
846
00:49:18,691 --> 00:49:20,784
I guess we'll never know.
847
00:49:20,893 --> 00:49:22,292
Or will we?
848
00:49:23,663 --> 00:49:24,721
Nope.
849
00:49:24,831 --> 00:49:28,130
NARRA TOR.: They won't know. But you wiII.
850
00:49:28,534 --> 00:49:29,831
Lucky you.
851
00:49:34,140 --> 00:49:35,368
Oh, hey, Mr. Panucci.
852
00:49:35,474 --> 00:49:37,601
I’m back from that delivery
to the cryogenic lab.
853
00:49:37,710 --> 00:49:41,111
I know. I read about it
in Big Whoop magazine.
854
00:49:41,214 --> 00:49:45,844
So my girlfriend kicked me out.
Can I rent the upstairs storage room?
855
00:49:45,952 --> 00:49:48,250
The upstairs storage?
856
00:49:48,354 --> 00:49:49,878
(LAUGHING)
857
00:49:49,989 --> 00:49:51,183
I like you, kid.
858
00:49:51,290 --> 00:49:53,986
Your lousy life makes me feel
good about myself.
859
00:49:54,093 --> 00:49:55,219
The room's yours.
860
00:49:55,328 --> 00:49:58,388
Here, take some rat spray
for the meatball hamper.
861
00:50:09,375 --> 00:50:13,869
(BARKlNG)
862
00:50:35,935 --> 00:50:38,495
(SOBBING)
863
00:50:45,144 --> 00:50:47,203
Happy day, man. Good to have you back.
864
00:50:47,313 --> 00:50:50,714
lndeed, but the scammers
will soon sprunje the code again.
865
00:50:50,816 --> 00:50:54,411
We must remove the time tattoo at once,
and as painlessly as possible.
866
00:50:54,553 --> 00:50:57,147
(SCREAMING)
867
00:50:59,792 --> 00:51:01,350
Hurry! They're coming!
868
00:51:03,996 --> 00:51:06,226
There, the code is gone.
869
00:51:06,332 --> 00:51:09,790
I saved the space-time continuum
and 40%%% of your rectum.
870
00:51:09,902 --> 00:51:11,870
-ALL: Yeah!
-That's all you need.
871
00:51:12,571 --> 00:51:14,698
Oh, I sprunje code.
872
00:51:14,807 --> 00:51:17,935
Too late, Nudar.
I’ve wiped Fry's butt clean.
873
00:51:18,077 --> 00:51:19,305
(SNlFFlNG)
874
00:51:19,412 --> 00:51:20,845
We'll see about that.
875
00:51:24,717 --> 00:51:27,618
Nothing, boss.
We sprunjed his ass inside and out.
876
00:51:27,720 --> 00:51:31,178
The only information we found was
a hair shaped like the number six.
877
00:51:31,290 --> 00:51:32,814
Give me that!
878
00:51:33,459 --> 00:51:37,293
Nine. All right, let him go.
I guess the time code really is gone.
879
00:51:37,396 --> 00:51:38,385
Thank God.
880
00:51:38,497 --> 00:51:39,521
The present may stink,
881
00:51:39,632 --> 00:51:43,295
but at least now we can look
forward to a better yesterday.
882
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:51,298
I’m sorry, Leela,
but I can't keep living in the past.
883
00:51:51,410 --> 00:51:53,139
By which I mean the future.
884
00:51:53,245 --> 00:51:54,303
I’ll always love you,
885
00:51:54,413 --> 00:51:57,177
but I’ve got to move on
and find my life's purpose.
886
00:51:57,283 --> 00:52:00,980
And that's how BungIes the monkey
finaIIy found a friend.
887
00:52:01,087 --> 00:52:02,315
I miss Morbo.
888
00:52:02,421 --> 00:52:05,049
And finaIIy, tonight
on The Late Cute Animal News,
889
00:52:05,157 --> 00:52:08,024
a story that wiII reaIIy
tug your heartstrings
890
00:52:08,127 --> 00:52:11,153
way more than BungIes,
the doII-raping monkey.
891
00:52:11,263 --> 00:52:15,290
It's the taIe of IoneIy LeeIu,
the IittIe orphan narwhaI.
892
00:52:16,502 --> 00:52:18,936
LeeIu is a rare toothed, femaIe narwhaI
893
00:52:19,038 --> 00:52:21,802
who got disoriented
and washed up in AtIantic City,
894
00:52:21,907 --> 00:52:24,068
as we aII do from time to time.
895
00:52:24,176 --> 00:52:27,475
But without a mother,
she's Iost the wiII to eat.
896
00:52:27,580 --> 00:52:29,309
Come on, take a sip.
897
00:52:29,682 --> 00:52:30,706
(MOANING)
898
00:52:31,951 --> 00:52:35,182
I know how to make things eat.
Maybe this is my purpose in life.
899
00:52:37,456 --> 00:52:40,289
Hi, I’d like to apply for a job
working with Leelu.
900
00:52:40,393 --> 00:52:41,655
Question number one.
901
00:52:41,761 --> 00:52:44,491
Do you have any experience
working with marine mammals?
902
00:52:44,597 --> 00:52:47,828
-No, but I think they're pretty neat.
-That answers question number two.
903
00:52:47,933 --> 00:52:48,922
Question number three.
904
00:52:49,035 --> 00:52:52,061
Do you know where the door is,
or do you prefer to be kicked out?
905
00:52:52,171 --> 00:52:54,401
I don't know. I guess kicked out.
906
00:52:54,507 --> 00:52:55,531
(GRUNTING)
907
00:52:55,641 --> 00:52:56,767
Hiya, girl!
908
00:52:56,876 --> 00:52:59,071
My name's Fry, and I think you're a cutie,
909
00:52:59,178 --> 00:53:00,873
'cause I like things
that have only one thing
910
00:53:00,980 --> 00:53:02,811
instead of two things.
911
00:53:05,017 --> 00:53:08,180
Holy mackerel!
She's eating whole mackerel.
912
00:53:08,287 --> 00:53:11,381
I don't know what your secret is,
but if you'll work for minimum wage,
913
00:53:11,490 --> 00:53:12,548
you can start tomorrow.
914
00:53:12,658 --> 00:53:15,422
lf I work for less than minimum,
can I start today?
915
00:53:15,528 --> 00:53:17,291
I don't see why not.
916
00:53:22,101 --> 00:53:26,037
In business news, the weak
and guIIibIe inhabitants of Earth
917
00:53:26,138 --> 00:53:28,698
were pIunged
into economic depression today
918
00:53:28,808 --> 00:53:32,471
as the scammer aIiens finished
steaIing every item of vaIue,
919
00:53:32,578 --> 00:53:35,172
incIuding ownership of this station.
920
00:53:35,314 --> 00:53:36,645
(LAUGHING)
921
00:53:36,749 --> 00:53:38,239
(BOTH SCREAMING)
922
00:53:39,018 --> 00:53:42,920
Tough times, Earth chumps.
We're repossessing your TV.
923
00:53:43,022 --> 00:53:45,183
Seems you can't afford it
now that you're unemployed.
924
00:53:45,291 --> 00:53:46,280
We're not...
925
00:53:57,736 --> 00:54:01,536
I love the Head Museum at night.
It’s where I come to be alone.
926
00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:03,039
-Hi, Lars!
-Hi, Lars!
927
00:54:03,776 --> 00:54:06,040
Lars and Ia beIIe Leela.
928
00:54:06,145 --> 00:54:09,376
I trust you brought some haute cuisine
for an old Frenchman?
929
00:54:09,482 --> 00:54:12,679
Your favorite, General.
Torgo's Executive Powder.
930
00:54:15,788 --> 00:54:17,483
Mmm ! Magnifique!
931
00:54:18,023 --> 00:54:21,481
Come on, Leela. Let me show you
the Hall of Screaming Skulls.
932
00:54:21,594 --> 00:54:24,757
(ALL SCREAMING)
933
00:54:25,798 --> 00:54:27,390
It’s so romantic.
934
00:54:28,100 --> 00:54:29,328
(SOBBING)
935
00:54:29,435 --> 00:54:31,767
What's wrong?
ls the screaming depressing you?
936
00:54:31,871 --> 00:54:37,468
It’s just... My life is changing so fast.
I don't know who I am anymore.
937
00:54:37,576 --> 00:54:39,009
I know who you are.
938
00:54:39,111 --> 00:54:42,478
You're the woman
I’ve been waiting for all my life.
939
00:54:48,454 --> 00:54:49,751
Let's go to my place.
940
00:54:55,661 --> 00:54:57,595
I like what you've done with it.
941
00:54:57,696 --> 00:55:00,824
(LEELA READlNG)
942
00:55:00,933 --> 00:55:03,094
And that would be us, dump cakes.
943
00:55:03,202 --> 00:55:04,260
We're buying the whole city
944
00:55:04,370 --> 00:55:06,600
and turning it into
a private panda hunting reserve.
945
00:55:06,705 --> 00:55:07,865
Nuh-nuh-nuh
946
00:55:07,973 --> 00:55:10,305
There aren't any pandas in New New York.
947
00:55:10,409 --> 00:55:12,070
Back it up, Sal!
948
00:55:12,378 --> 00:55:14,005
(BEEPlNG)
949
00:55:29,495 --> 00:55:33,591
Look at us, living like trash-eating bums
in an alley now.
950
00:55:34,033 --> 00:55:35,830
Yes, now.
951
00:55:35,935 --> 00:55:39,701
And on Xmas eve,
the most wonderful night of the...
952
00:55:40,039 --> 00:55:41,028
Oops.
953
00:55:41,140 --> 00:55:43,768
Well, at least we have each other.
954
00:55:43,876 --> 00:55:46,902
So it truly is the worst Xmas ever.
955
00:55:47,012 --> 00:55:49,003
(EX CLAIMING)
956
00:55:49,114 --> 00:55:50,308
Santa !
957
00:55:51,483 --> 00:55:53,974
The Planet Express crew.
958
00:55:54,086 --> 00:55:59,114
According to my list,
you've all been very naughty.
959
00:55:59,225 --> 00:56:02,319
I’ll be back for you
after I collect my milk and cookies
960
00:56:02,428 --> 00:56:04,328
from starving orphans.
961
00:56:06,332 --> 00:56:09,233
That's it. I don't see how
things could get any worse.
962
00:56:09,335 --> 00:56:10,495
We could sing.
963
00:56:10,603 --> 00:56:12,298
I’d rather kill myself.
964
00:56:12,404 --> 00:56:13,996
Why not do both?
965
00:56:14,106 --> 00:56:15,733
Oh. Very well.
966
00:56:17,309 --> 00:56:18,571
(GROANING)
967
00:56:19,745 --> 00:56:22,839
I may as weII jump
968
00:56:22,948 --> 00:56:24,745
Those sIeazy naked scammers
969
00:56:24,850 --> 00:56:27,011
Made me Iook Iike a chump
970
00:56:27,119 --> 00:56:31,078
They robbed me of my dignity
and most of my stuff
971
00:56:31,190 --> 00:56:33,055
Lars brought me candy
972
00:56:33,158 --> 00:56:35,490
Cram it down and shut the heII up
973
00:56:35,594 --> 00:56:38,358
I can't compete with that
974
00:56:38,464 --> 00:56:39,431
(GIGGLING)
975
00:56:39,531 --> 00:56:43,160
He's Barbados SIim and I'm Jamaican fat
976
00:56:43,269 --> 00:56:47,035
Who wouId choose a backwards corpse
with Iice in his hair?
977
00:56:47,139 --> 00:56:49,130
Lars says I'm dreamy
978
00:56:49,241 --> 00:56:50,640
Who the heII cares?
979
00:56:50,743 --> 00:56:54,474
Oh, won't somebody shoot her, pIease
980
00:56:54,580 --> 00:56:57,572
And put her out of our misery?
981
00:56:57,683 --> 00:56:58,877
That's my cue.
982
00:56:58,984 --> 00:57:00,110
(ALL SCREAMING)
983
00:57:12,231 --> 00:57:13,630
Oh, my word.
984
00:57:15,801 --> 00:57:17,792
Lars makes me puke
985
00:57:19,104 --> 00:57:22,665
I bet she'd Iove me, too
If I was a baIdheaded kook
986
00:57:22,775 --> 00:57:24,606
-Hey, guess what, guys!
-What?
987
00:57:24,710 --> 00:57:27,110
WhiIe we were huddIed in fear
988
00:57:27,212 --> 00:57:28,975
Lars popped the question
989
00:57:29,081 --> 00:57:31,049
-Congratulations!
-Mazel tov!
990
00:57:31,150 --> 00:57:33,015
May stars in heaven bless your love!
991
00:57:33,118 --> 00:57:34,517
I think I'm gonna cry
992
00:57:34,620 --> 00:57:38,249
'cause it's
an extra happy Xmas this year
993
00:57:38,624 --> 00:57:40,819
Now could things get any worse?
994
00:57:41,226 --> 00:57:43,387
Ho! Ho! Ho!
995
00:57:44,697 --> 00:57:47,962
(ALL SCREAMING)
996
00:57:48,067 --> 00:57:49,056
Stop screaming.
997
00:57:49,168 --> 00:57:50,999
That's just what the bomb wants us to do.
998
00:57:51,103 --> 00:57:52,468
I say do what it tells us.
999
00:57:52,571 --> 00:57:53,765
(SCREAMING)
1000
00:57:53,872 --> 00:57:57,399
Don't worry, a bomb in a case is
just like a head in a jar.
1001
00:58:00,746 --> 00:58:02,543
(ALL CHEERING)
1002
00:58:02,648 --> 00:58:06,379
Oh, Lars, not blowing us up
makes me love you even more.
1003
00:58:06,485 --> 00:58:08,214
Lifesaving goody-goody.
1004
00:58:08,320 --> 00:58:11,721
Well, now that death
has been staved off momentarily,
1005
00:58:11,824 --> 00:58:13,883
let me be the first to say
1006
00:58:13,992 --> 00:58:17,155
congratulations, Leela and Lars.
1007
00:58:17,262 --> 00:58:18,820
(ALL CHEERING)
1008
00:58:18,931 --> 00:58:20,330
-Maid of honor!
-Maid of honor!
1009
00:58:20,432 --> 00:58:21,490
Oh.
1010
00:58:22,067 --> 00:58:24,126
-Oh, that's wonderful.
-I’m so happy.
1011
00:58:24,236 --> 00:58:28,502
I could make you happy, too,
if only you'd give me a chance.
1012
00:58:32,378 --> 00:58:33,606
(SHOUTING)
1013
00:58:33,712 --> 00:58:34,736
(GRUNTING)
1014
00:58:35,047 --> 00:58:36,275
En garde!
1015
00:58:41,620 --> 00:58:44,088
(LAUGHING)
1016
00:58:57,169 --> 00:58:59,501
You've done a wonderful job, Fry.
1017
00:58:59,605 --> 00:59:00,629
When you first started,
1018
00:59:00,739 --> 00:59:02,764
I thought she'd be dead within a narweek,
1019
00:59:02,875 --> 00:59:04,433
which is six days, I believe.
1020
00:59:04,543 --> 00:59:06,010
No, Leelu's a champ.
1021
00:59:06,111 --> 00:59:09,205
She just needed someone
to show her how to eat.
1022
00:59:10,482 --> 00:59:12,473
Now that's the kind
of whale behavioral science
1023
00:59:12,584 --> 00:59:14,916
they don't teach you
in whale behavioral science class.
1024
00:59:15,020 --> 00:59:16,681
So what's up, Dr. Shlivinowitz?
1025
00:59:16,789 --> 00:59:17,881
(SIGHING)
1026
00:59:17,990 --> 00:59:20,185
This is a little hard for me to say, Fry.
1027
00:59:20,459 --> 00:59:21,721
You see, it's...
1028
00:59:21,827 --> 00:59:24,887
It’s time we released Leelu
back into the wild.
1029
00:59:25,597 --> 00:59:28,464
I’m sorry, but the decision is final.
1030
00:59:28,567 --> 00:59:31,695
Plus, we need the tank
for the Loch Ness monster.
1031
00:59:32,871 --> 00:59:34,099
But that turned out to be a log
1032
00:59:34,206 --> 00:59:36,731
with a Halloween mask stapled to it.
1033
00:59:37,810 --> 00:59:40,278
Yes, well, it still draws a crowd.
1034
00:59:41,313 --> 00:59:45,044
I can't let this happen.
She'll never be happy without me.
1035
00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:57,225
I know you're broke and homeless,
1036
00:59:57,329 --> 01:00:00,059
but you still want
a swank wedding reception.
1037
01:00:00,165 --> 01:00:03,601
So I whipped you up
some real nice budget appetizers.
1038
01:00:04,970 --> 01:00:06,028
I can keep these down.
1039
01:00:06,138 --> 01:00:08,936
Okay. That's a big yes on the crud puffs.
1040
01:00:09,041 --> 01:00:11,032
Try the shlimp cocktail.
1041
01:00:11,810 --> 01:00:14,108
There must be some way
I can stop this wedding.
1042
01:00:14,213 --> 01:00:17,944
-What if I steal the wedding ring?
-Already taken care of.
1043
01:00:18,050 --> 01:00:20,348
You think that will be enough
to stop the ceremony?
1044
01:00:20,452 --> 01:00:24,388
Nope. I pulled the old switcheroo,
so they won't even know the difference.
1045
01:00:24,490 --> 01:00:25,582
Wait a minute.
1046
01:00:25,691 --> 01:00:28,717
I think the copy I made
actually cost more than this!
1047
01:00:28,827 --> 01:00:30,761
Cheap, lousy Lars.
1048
01:00:30,863 --> 01:00:34,924
Actually, this is extremely nice.
But I really went all-out on the copy.
1049
01:00:35,033 --> 01:00:36,933
lt was sort of my gift to them.
1050
01:00:37,035 --> 01:00:38,024
(SNIFFLING)
1051
01:00:38,136 --> 01:00:41,970
I can't let this happen.
She'll never be happy without me.
1052
01:00:48,413 --> 01:00:50,938
It’s not fair. We need each other.
1053
01:00:51,049 --> 01:00:54,849
Fry, you dumb sack.
I don't care about your problems at all.
1054
01:00:54,953 --> 01:00:56,284
(COUGHING)
1055
01:00:56,388 --> 01:00:59,653
-You need your blanket, Mr. Panucci.
-I don't even wanna be here.
1056
01:00:59,758 --> 01:01:01,658
I only came because you wheeled me.
1057
01:01:01,760 --> 01:01:03,921
But if that narwhal means so much to you,
1058
01:01:04,029 --> 01:01:05,519
you gotta do something.
1059
01:01:05,631 --> 01:01:08,191
I know, but I can't just
go chasing after her.
1060
01:01:08,300 --> 01:01:11,929
-That'd be nuts.
-Sometimes you gotta be a little nuts.
1061
01:01:12,037 --> 01:01:15,404
Let me introduce you to my cousin.
He owns a small freighter.
1062
01:01:15,507 --> 01:01:17,702
That's him right behind us.
1063
01:01:17,809 --> 01:01:19,106
Maybe you're right.
1064
01:01:19,211 --> 01:01:22,271
Sir, I’d like to engage your ship
for a trans-Arctic voyage
1065
01:01:22,381 --> 01:01:24,713
to capture a narwhal
and bring it back to my room.
1066
01:01:24,816 --> 01:01:28,513
-The man is nuts, Leroy.
-Professional whale keeper, eh?
1067
01:01:28,620 --> 01:01:31,851
I’ve carried your type before,
and we don't get along.
1068
01:01:31,957 --> 01:01:35,393
Oh, I agree with your values
and your goals and your methods,
1069
01:01:35,494 --> 01:01:38,520
but somehow we just never click
on a personal level.
1070
01:01:38,630 --> 01:01:42,361
I’m not a professional anymore.
Just a narwhal-loving private citizen.
1071
01:01:42,467 --> 01:01:43,729
Then I’m your man.
1072
01:01:43,835 --> 01:01:47,737
We'll take on three barrels
of fresh sausage and sail at dawn.
1073
01:01:56,114 --> 01:01:58,742
Welcome to the wedding!
1074
01:01:58,850 --> 01:02:00,909
It’s a foolproof plan.
1075
01:02:01,019 --> 01:02:04,853
They can't sign the wedding license
if I give them a pen with no ink.
1076
01:02:04,957 --> 01:02:05,981
(SMIRKING)
1077
01:02:06,091 --> 01:02:10,790
Yeah, once they try to sign that license,
all hell will break loose.
1078
01:02:11,597 --> 01:02:12,564
Oy vey.
1079
01:02:12,965 --> 01:02:14,091
Go on now, man.
1080
01:02:14,199 --> 01:02:16,463
Don't you know nothing
about zipping up a woman's frock?
1081
01:02:16,568 --> 01:02:19,435
It’s more my thing to zip them down.
1082
01:02:19,538 --> 01:02:20,937
(LAUGHING)
1083
01:02:21,039 --> 01:02:24,770
Get your clumsy, muscular hands
off my woman, Barbados.
1084
01:02:24,876 --> 01:02:26,673
Hermes! Your body!
1085
01:02:26,778 --> 01:02:29,144
I always said you were a little backward.
1086
01:02:29,247 --> 01:02:31,943
Well, I always said
you were a little forward.
1087
01:02:32,050 --> 01:02:33,415
With my wife!
1088
01:02:33,518 --> 01:02:35,986
ALL: Ooh!
1089
01:02:37,689 --> 01:02:40,157
Consider yourself bird-dogged.
1090
01:02:40,258 --> 01:02:43,091
That's my man! Take a boat, Barbados.
1091
01:02:43,195 --> 01:02:44,355
(GRUMBLING)
1092
01:02:44,463 --> 01:02:46,454
Brother, you gots to tell that sweet thing
1093
01:02:46,565 --> 01:02:48,760
your time-duplicate body is doomed.
1094
01:02:48,867 --> 01:02:52,030
Tomorrow morning, after the festivities.
1095
01:02:52,137 --> 01:02:53,434
Yow, baby.
1096
01:02:54,473 --> 01:02:59,035
(PLAYING WEDDING MARCH)
1097
01:03:00,646 --> 01:03:04,013
Our little girl is finally getting married.
1098
01:03:04,116 --> 01:03:06,243
And to a normal two-eyed human.
1099
01:03:06,551 --> 01:03:07,984
He's not good enough for her.
1100
01:03:08,086 --> 01:03:10,054
Leela deserves a guy with a dozen eyes.
1101
01:03:10,155 --> 01:03:12,988
Quit trying to fix her up with Fly Mutant.
1102
01:03:16,028 --> 01:03:17,188
Dearly liked,
1103
01:03:17,295 --> 01:03:20,822
we are gathered here
before one or more gods, or fewer,
1104
01:03:20,932 --> 01:03:23,833
to join this couple
in pretty good matrimony.
1105
01:03:23,935 --> 01:03:25,903
lf anyone objects to this union,
1106
01:03:26,004 --> 01:03:29,303
let them speak now
or forever hold their peace,
1107
01:03:29,408 --> 01:03:31,103
or do something else.
1108
01:03:31,209 --> 01:03:32,267
(SNICKERING)
1109
01:03:39,985 --> 01:03:41,976
It’s been two years, Fry.
1110
01:03:42,087 --> 01:03:45,523
We've caught 108 narwhals
and set them all free again.
1111
01:03:45,624 --> 01:03:48,491
-None of them were Leelu.
-But all of them were edible.
1112
01:03:48,593 --> 01:03:51,790
Can we at least eat that one?
I’m sick of sausage.
1113
01:03:51,930 --> 01:03:52,919
(GASPING)
1114
01:03:53,031 --> 01:03:55,693
I’d know
that modified extended tooth anywhere.
1115
01:03:55,801 --> 01:03:57,234
To the boats!
1116
01:03:58,203 --> 01:04:02,003
Leelu! Leelu! It’s me, Fry!
1117
01:04:02,274 --> 01:04:06,074
(GRUNTING)
1118
01:04:08,113 --> 01:04:10,081
Oh, I’ve missed you, too, Leelu.
1119
01:04:10,182 --> 01:04:13,674
But we'll never be apart again
because we care too much for each other.
1120
01:04:13,785 --> 01:04:14,843
Fire!
1121
01:04:18,123 --> 01:04:21,183
Now, if the couple will sign
the wedding license.
1122
01:04:28,900 --> 01:04:30,162
(EX CLAIMING)
1123
01:04:34,906 --> 01:04:37,204
(SCREAMING)
1124
01:04:41,113 --> 01:04:42,580
I warned him !
1125
01:04:42,681 --> 01:04:46,640
I warned him a time paradox duplicate
is always doomed.
1126
01:04:47,052 --> 01:04:49,782
-What?
-Oh, no, my man.
1127
01:04:49,888 --> 01:04:51,719
He's essentially dead again.
1128
01:04:51,823 --> 01:04:52,847
Relax, ma'am.
1129
01:04:52,958 --> 01:04:56,485
Your husband's original body
will be repaired within one week.
1130
01:04:56,595 --> 01:04:59,462
Not soon enough. Boy needs a daddy.
1131
01:04:59,564 --> 01:05:01,293
Cruel runnings, man.
1132
01:05:01,433 --> 01:05:03,628
(LAUGHING)
1133
01:05:04,136 --> 01:05:07,469
-Woopsy-doopsy, poopsy.
-Well, let's get on with it.
1134
01:05:07,572 --> 01:05:09,904
Don't let my doomed body
and my doomed marriage
1135
01:05:10,008 --> 01:05:11,532
stand in the way of your happiness.
1136
01:05:11,643 --> 01:05:13,167
No, it's not right.
1137
01:05:13,278 --> 01:05:16,770
We don't want our happy day tainted
by misfortune and tragedy, do we?
1138
01:05:16,882 --> 01:05:19,578
-I’m okay with it.
-No, it's not right.
1139
01:05:19,684 --> 01:05:20,878
The wedding is off.
1140
01:05:20,986 --> 01:05:22,578
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
1141
01:05:23,388 --> 01:05:24,946
Oh, my goodness!
1142
01:05:26,258 --> 01:05:27,282
(SNICKERING)
1143
01:05:27,392 --> 01:05:29,326
Finally, a happy ending.
1144
01:05:29,628 --> 01:05:33,587
(SOBBING)
1145
01:05:37,836 --> 01:05:41,363
ANNOUNCER ON TV.: And now it's time for
Everybody Loves Hypnotoad.
1146
01:05:41,506 --> 01:05:44,737
(MECHANICAL GRINDING)
1147
01:05:46,678 --> 01:05:50,205
Even in a depression,
the entertainment industry thrives.
1148
01:05:57,455 --> 01:05:58,786
Are you okay, Leela?
1149
01:05:58,890 --> 01:06:00,721
Yeah, I’m just a little down
1150
01:06:00,826 --> 01:06:03,624
'cause the only man
I’ll ever love left me at the altar.
1151
01:06:03,728 --> 01:06:06,720
-Plus I live in a dumpster.
-You stay out of my dumpster.
1152
01:06:06,832 --> 01:06:07,924
(HISSING)
1153
01:06:08,033 --> 01:06:10,627
ANNOUNCER ON TV.: We interrupt this
episode ofEverybody Loves Hypnotoad
1154
01:06:10,735 --> 01:06:14,466
to bring you a speciaI address
from Earth President Nixon.
1155
01:06:14,573 --> 01:06:16,939
PIease, Hypnotoad, it's beyond my controI.
1156
01:06:17,042 --> 01:06:19,272
No! Don't make me kiII myseIf!
1157
01:06:19,377 --> 01:06:20,469
(ANNOUNCER GROANING)
1158
01:06:20,912 --> 01:06:22,743
My feIIow Earthicans,
1159
01:06:22,848 --> 01:06:26,113
I've just received some reaIIy great news.
1160
01:06:26,218 --> 01:06:27,378
I’m about to close a deal
1161
01:06:27,485 --> 01:06:30,454
that will allow us to buy Earth back
from the scammers.
1162
01:06:30,555 --> 01:06:31,579
(ALL CHEERING)
1163
01:06:31,690 --> 01:06:33,487
That'll teach those scammers and me.
1164
01:06:33,592 --> 01:06:35,457
Just when things looked darkest,
1165
01:06:35,560 --> 01:06:38,723
I received an e-mail
from the Andromeda Galaxy.
1166
01:06:38,830 --> 01:06:42,891
lt seems we've won their
quadrillion-dollar family sweepstakes.
1167
01:06:43,001 --> 01:06:44,025
(ALL GROANING)
1168
01:06:44,135 --> 01:06:45,124
Oh, Lord.
1169
01:06:45,237 --> 01:06:46,761
And all I had to do was hand over
1170
01:06:46,872 --> 01:06:49,705
our last remaining land
and water as collateral.
1171
01:06:49,808 --> 01:06:50,866
So assuming all goes...
1172
01:06:50,976 --> 01:06:52,000
(AGNEW GRUNTING)
1173
01:06:52,110 --> 01:06:54,135
What's that, Agnew? A telegram?
1174
01:06:54,246 --> 01:06:55,304
(GRUNTING)
1175
01:06:55,814 --> 01:06:57,611
(EX CLAIMING)
1176
01:06:57,716 --> 01:07:01,117
There... Seems to have been some...
1177
01:07:01,219 --> 01:07:02,709
We've been scammed again, people.
1178
01:07:02,821 --> 01:07:06,814
Prepare to evacuate Earth.
I mean, New Scamedonia.
1179
01:07:09,895 --> 01:07:13,456
Na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na
1180
01:07:13,798 --> 01:07:15,425
Hey, hey, hey
1181
01:07:15,533 --> 01:07:17,467
We took your stuff
1182
01:07:17,569 --> 01:07:19,628
All aboard for Neptune!
1183
01:07:19,738 --> 01:07:22,229
Oh, I don't want to go to Neptune.
1184
01:07:22,340 --> 01:07:24,638
I’ll be cold and heavy.
1185
01:07:26,811 --> 01:07:28,972
Thanks for the planet, suckers.
1186
01:07:36,121 --> 01:07:38,487
(ALL GROANING)
1187
01:07:43,995 --> 01:07:46,930
(ALL SCREAMING)
1188
01:07:53,505 --> 01:07:57,373
It’s so cold, my processor is running
at peak efficiency.
1189
01:07:57,475 --> 01:07:59,238
What are you, a whining machine?
1190
01:07:59,344 --> 01:08:02,336
lf you want to worry about something,
worry about the yetis.
1191
01:08:02,447 --> 01:08:03,846
Yetis?
1192
01:08:03,982 --> 01:08:05,540
(YETIS HOWLING)
1193
01:08:05,650 --> 01:08:07,880
Oh, yetis.
1194
01:08:07,986 --> 01:08:11,422
Amy, you speak yeti.
What are they saying?
1195
01:08:11,523 --> 01:08:14,788
I’m not sure, but it sounds
like something to do with...
1196
01:08:14,893 --> 01:08:17,691
''Assaulting the interlopers.''
1197
01:08:19,230 --> 01:08:20,390
(SCREAMING)
1198
01:08:21,733 --> 01:08:22,791
(GROWLING)
1199
01:08:22,901 --> 01:08:23,890
(SHOUTING)
1200
01:08:24,002 --> 01:08:27,096
Don't mess with me,
you ice-crapping snow-honkies.
1201
01:08:27,205 --> 01:08:28,900
I just got dumped.
1202
01:08:29,941 --> 01:08:31,499
(SHOUTING)
1203
01:08:31,943 --> 01:08:36,039
Sweet yeti of the Serengeti,
she's gone crazy eddie in the head-y.
1204
01:08:36,147 --> 01:08:37,546
(SHOUTING)
1205
01:08:39,050 --> 01:08:41,484
(GRUNTING)
1206
01:08:46,558 --> 01:08:48,617
-ls that normal?
-No.
1207
01:08:48,727 --> 01:08:50,991
Perhaps if we were to cook
and eat her slightly...
1208
01:08:51,096 --> 01:08:52,120
Leave her alone.
1209
01:08:52,230 --> 01:08:54,824
She just needs me to cheer her up.
1210
01:08:54,933 --> 01:08:57,094
Wanna sword fight, girl?
1211
01:09:02,073 --> 01:09:04,769
That male narwhal seems
to be upsetting her.
1212
01:09:04,876 --> 01:09:08,471
Get us out of here, Captain.
Full fast ahead.
1213
01:09:08,580 --> 01:09:10,411
Damn whale keepers.
1214
01:09:22,861 --> 01:09:25,728
Santa ! We forgot he's based on Neptune.
1215
01:09:25,830 --> 01:09:28,697
Ho! Ho! Ho!
1216
01:09:29,834 --> 01:09:32,302
Oh, my heart's not in it.
1217
01:09:32,404 --> 01:09:36,067
I’m too depressed
for murder and mayhem.
1218
01:09:37,175 --> 01:09:39,905
Try some antidepressants.
They're Gummi.
1219
01:09:40,011 --> 01:09:41,239
What happened, Santa?
1220
01:09:41,346 --> 01:09:44,179
The scammers cheated me
out of my naughty list
1221
01:09:44,282 --> 01:09:46,182
to use for telemarketing.
1222
01:09:46,284 --> 01:09:49,276
Can you imagine the harm
they could do with that information?
1223
01:09:49,387 --> 01:09:51,287
I wanted to do that harm.
1224
01:09:51,389 --> 01:09:53,619
That's it. They've gone too far.
1225
01:09:53,725 --> 01:09:57,525
No more running and hiding.
It’s time to fight back.
1226
01:09:57,629 --> 01:10:00,189
Now, let's not resort to violence, Leela.
1227
01:10:00,298 --> 01:10:04,394
We're fighting back and you're helping us,
you fat holiday idiot.
1228
01:10:04,502 --> 01:10:05,628
(SOBBING)
1229
01:10:05,737 --> 01:10:06,761
That hurt.
1230
01:10:06,871 --> 01:10:08,930
You're on the naughty list.
1231
01:10:09,074 --> 01:10:11,440
(EX CLAIMING REPEATEDLY)
1232
01:10:18,889 --> 01:10:21,255
So that's our proposal napkin,
Mr. President.
1233
01:10:21,358 --> 01:10:24,850
We have just enough people
and ships to mount a ragtag attack.
1234
01:10:24,961 --> 01:10:25,950
You wish, missy.
1235
01:10:26,062 --> 01:10:28,121
Dog-danged scammers used
our money to build
1236
01:10:28,231 --> 01:10:31,530
a fleet of remote-controlled,
solid-gold Death Stars.
1237
01:10:33,069 --> 01:10:36,527
Ooh! I’d take one of those
with a side of chili fries.
1238
01:10:36,640 --> 01:10:38,437
We're hopelessly outgunned.
1239
01:10:38,541 --> 01:10:41,339
The force is with us, but that's about it.
1240
01:10:41,645 --> 01:10:45,809
But we have access
to a huge manufacturing complex.
1241
01:10:46,283 --> 01:10:48,615
I brought the eIves back from vacation
1242
01:10:48,718 --> 01:10:51,278
Chained them up
and caIIed my hoIiday friends
1243
01:10:51,388 --> 01:10:52,412
Kwanzabot
1244
01:10:52,522 --> 01:10:53,784
And the Chanukah zombie
1245
01:10:53,890 --> 01:10:56,518
Three mad, wise men
Bearing murder and frankincense
1246
01:10:56,626 --> 01:10:58,059
-Damn you
-Shut up
1247
01:10:58,161 --> 01:11:01,392
Now fetch those bunnies by the armfuI
1248
01:11:01,498 --> 01:11:03,261
-Says who?
-Says me
1249
01:11:03,366 --> 01:11:05,834
NapaIm makes them
sIightIy more harmfuI
1250
01:11:05,936 --> 01:11:07,995
No one here goes near that door
1251
01:11:08,104 --> 01:11:10,368
This toyshop's going to war
1252
01:11:11,107 --> 01:11:13,075
TaImud says
'"Be sIow to anger'"
1253
01:11:13,176 --> 01:11:15,940
Low-down scammers got me seeing red
1254
01:11:16,046 --> 01:11:18,014
Got my TIE fighter out of the hangar
1255
01:11:18,114 --> 01:11:21,106
Jump back, Jack
'Cause I'm Jewish and I'm undead
1256
01:11:21,217 --> 01:11:23,014
Ten hut!
1257
01:11:23,119 --> 01:11:25,986
DreidI, dreidI
I made it out of bIasting cIay
1258
01:11:26,089 --> 01:11:27,078
You're nuts
1259
01:11:27,190 --> 01:11:30,489
And when it's dry and ready
For mercy they wiII pay
1260
01:11:30,593 --> 01:11:32,493
I can't wait eight nights or more
1261
01:11:32,595 --> 01:11:34,620
This zombie's going to war
1262
01:11:34,731 --> 01:11:37,256
Check, check it out
Kwanzabot in the NeptizzIe-hizzIe
1263
01:11:37,367 --> 01:11:39,961
With my inhuman beat box
Busy buiIding missiIes
1264
01:11:40,070 --> 01:11:42,595
They're guided by these
cute dancing fairy figures
1265
01:11:42,706 --> 01:11:44,833
CarefuI, IittIe eIf
That's proximity-triggered
1266
01:11:44,941 --> 01:11:47,239
I'm fighting back for Kwanza
So the chiIdren won't miss it
1267
01:11:47,344 --> 01:11:49,778
I'm confused about its meaning
But I know it when they dis it
1268
01:11:49,879 --> 01:11:50,937
-So, Santa
-Yeah, K?
1269
01:11:51,047 --> 01:11:52,105
-CZ?
-Hey, hey
1270
01:11:52,215 --> 01:11:55,150
Let's sIay them pimps
Come on, pimp my sIeigh
1271
01:11:55,251 --> 01:11:57,242
Easy with that toy artiIIery
1272
01:11:57,354 --> 01:12:00,118
Torgo's powder's deadIy but unstabIe
1273
01:12:00,223 --> 01:12:03,056
-Can they sue for liability?
-Certainly not!
1274
01:12:03,159 --> 01:12:05,252
Use as much as you are abIe
1275
01:12:05,362 --> 01:12:06,829
This bites
1276
01:12:06,930 --> 01:12:09,899
You signed away your rights
when you were hired
1277
01:12:10,000 --> 01:12:11,126
-Now, Iet's fight
-Let's fight
1278
01:12:11,234 --> 01:12:12,201
Okay!
1279
01:12:12,302 --> 01:12:14,770
Chestnuts roasting, I'm gonna open fire
1280
01:12:14,871 --> 01:12:16,566
Prepare for gore gaIore
1281
01:12:16,673 --> 01:12:18,971
This trinity's going to war
1282
01:12:20,310 --> 01:12:22,676
(BELL JINGLING)
1283
01:12:25,915 --> 01:12:27,507
Troops, you are now equipped
1284
01:12:27,617 --> 01:12:30,415
with the finest weapons
magical elves can build.
1285
01:12:30,520 --> 01:12:31,646
As for the battle plan...
1286
01:12:31,755 --> 01:12:36,749
And now, to present the battle plan,
Commander Zapp Brannigan!
1287
01:12:36,860 --> 01:12:37,884
What?
1288
01:12:37,994 --> 01:12:38,961
(AMY CHEERING)
1289
01:12:39,062 --> 01:12:40,188
At ease, people.
1290
01:12:40,296 --> 01:12:43,129
I was redecorating
my undisclosed location,
1291
01:12:43,233 --> 01:12:46,498
when I received word
of an heroic invasion.
1292
01:12:46,603 --> 01:12:49,868
Kif, crouch down and shield my thighs
from the cold, for God's sake.
1293
01:12:49,973 --> 01:12:51,201
(GROANING)
1294
01:12:51,307 --> 01:12:53,468
We fight this battle, not for ourselves,
1295
01:12:53,576 --> 01:12:56,704
but for our children
and our children's children.
1296
01:12:56,813 --> 01:12:59,976
Which is why I’m forming
a children's brigade.
1297
01:13:00,083 --> 01:13:02,847
Will the following youths
please step forward?
1298
01:13:03,086 --> 01:13:04,815
Cubert Farnsworth.
1299
01:13:04,921 --> 01:13:08,413
-Here, sir!
-My boy. Oh, God, no!
1300
01:13:08,591 --> 01:13:10,422
-Dwight Slim.
-Here.
1301
01:13:10,560 --> 01:13:15,463
You took his name? Oh, God, no!
In several ways!
1302
01:13:24,207 --> 01:13:28,041
Assuming the 15th pile of children
buys us a few seconds,
1303
01:13:28,144 --> 01:13:30,704
we will then execute maneuver 45.
1304
01:13:30,814 --> 01:13:32,748
Followed by maneuver 44.
1305
01:13:32,882 --> 01:13:35,009
-Forty-six.
-Oh, great.
1306
01:13:35,118 --> 01:13:37,780
Now I have to start back at the beginning
with maneuver two.
1307
01:13:37,887 --> 01:13:38,876
One.
1308
01:13:38,988 --> 01:13:41,286
AdmiraI, wiII we stop attacking
at any point
1309
01:13:41,391 --> 01:13:44,224
or is this one of those
phony-baloney feel-good wars
1310
01:13:44,327 --> 01:13:45,624
Iike the war on drugs?
1311
01:13:45,728 --> 01:13:49,255
-What's your name, smart mouth?
-Lars FiIImore.
1312
01:13:50,166 --> 01:13:53,431
The lovely Leela's
on-again, off-again paramour.
1313
01:13:53,536 --> 01:13:57,233
Perhaps a suicide mission would knock
the insubordination out of you.
1314
01:13:57,340 --> 01:13:58,602
Yes, yes, yes.
1315
01:13:58,708 --> 01:14:01,734
-We're approaching Earth, sir.
-Who?
1316
01:14:01,845 --> 01:14:05,178
Oh, planet Earth.
The big blue velour marble.
1317
01:14:05,281 --> 01:14:07,112
All commanders stand by.
1318
01:14:07,217 --> 01:14:11,449
Prepare to transfer battle control
to the main duper-computer on my mark!
1319
01:14:16,960 --> 01:14:20,123
ZAPP.: Ten, nine, eight...
1320
01:14:20,296 --> 01:14:24,130
(ZAPP AND KlF SCREAMING)
1321
01:14:24,467 --> 01:14:25,456
(GROANING)
1322
01:14:25,568 --> 01:14:27,661
Does anybody mind if I take command?
1323
01:14:27,770 --> 01:14:29,328
-No.
-Nos.
1324
01:14:29,439 --> 01:14:30,701
-Nah.
-Nope.
1325
01:14:30,807 --> 01:14:33,105
-No, Miss Turanga.
-No, I do not.
1326
01:14:33,209 --> 01:14:34,471
-No.
-It’s cool.
1327
01:14:35,378 --> 01:14:39,872
All right.
Unit one, acquire target A and fire!
1328
01:14:57,734 --> 01:14:59,725
Yes! Nailed the children's ship.
1329
01:14:59,836 --> 01:15:01,827
(ALL LAUGHING)
1330
01:15:05,041 --> 01:15:08,807
LEELA.: Unit 10, Target H, 16-K.
Niner, niner, go Ieft!
1331
01:15:09,112 --> 01:15:10,374
I mean right.
1332
01:15:11,247 --> 01:15:12,305
55-U.
1333
01:15:12,415 --> 01:15:13,677
8-R, 2-V.
1334
01:15:13,816 --> 01:15:16,080
-Bingo!
-Cheating son of a...
1335
01:15:21,658 --> 01:15:24,354
Whoa ! Whoa ! Whoa !
1336
01:15:28,464 --> 01:15:31,160
It’s hopeless!
I can't coordinate this many ships!
1337
01:15:31,267 --> 01:15:33,258
HERMES: Perhaps I can help!
1338
01:15:34,604 --> 01:15:38,131
Professor, can you wire my head
directly into the battle grid?
1339
01:15:38,241 --> 01:15:41,404
I can wire anything directly into anything.
1340
01:15:41,511 --> 01:15:43,445
I’m the professor!
1341
01:15:43,546 --> 01:15:46,913
Then prepare to see
a bureaucrat's brain in action.
1342
01:15:48,484 --> 01:15:51,976
(HUMMING FUTURAMA THEME)
1343
01:16:15,645 --> 01:16:18,478
Finally, I get to save the Earth
with deadly lasers
1344
01:16:18,581 --> 01:16:20,776
instead of deadly slide shows.
1345
01:16:23,853 --> 01:16:27,414
(EX CLAIMING)
1346
01:16:35,431 --> 01:16:37,331
He's champing for a clamping!
1347
01:16:59,322 --> 01:17:02,587
(MUSIC BOX TUNE TINKLING)
1348
01:17:06,763 --> 01:17:07,752
Kwa-zang!
1349
01:17:07,864 --> 01:17:08,831
(ALL CHEERING)
1350
01:17:08,931 --> 01:17:12,059
I did it!
I saved Earth and won back my woman.
1351
01:17:12,168 --> 01:17:15,262
-Right, woman?
-Oh, Hermes, I’ve been such a fool.
1352
01:17:15,371 --> 01:17:18,465
Truth be,
I married you for your sexy potato body,
1353
01:17:18,574 --> 01:17:21,771
but I’m staying with you
for your sexy potato head.
1354
01:17:22,979 --> 01:17:26,506
You haven't seen
the last of Barbados Slim !
1355
01:17:26,616 --> 01:17:28,675
Now, goodbye forever.
1356
01:17:32,455 --> 01:17:34,719
Nice attack, doo-doo heads.
1357
01:17:34,824 --> 01:17:37,486
Too bad we have one Iast trick
up our sIeeve.
1358
01:17:37,593 --> 01:17:38,821
I doubt that.
1359
01:17:39,028 --> 01:17:41,326
Remember this, Farnsworth?
1360
01:17:41,564 --> 01:17:44,158
Farnsworth? That's me!
1361
01:17:44,467 --> 01:17:45,525
(FARNSWORTH GASPING)
1362
01:17:45,635 --> 01:17:47,466
My doomsday device!
1363
01:17:52,709 --> 01:17:54,472
So it was the scammers!
1364
01:17:54,577 --> 01:17:58,206
They sawed off my hand
and stole the doomsday device.
1365
01:17:58,314 --> 01:18:00,612
lt wasn't them.
1366
01:18:00,717 --> 01:18:03,208
lt was me, Bender.
1367
01:18:03,319 --> 01:18:05,378
The master criminal!
1368
01:18:06,456 --> 01:18:07,946
So what'II it be?
1369
01:18:08,057 --> 01:18:10,321
-UnconditionaI surrender?
-Never!
1370
01:18:10,426 --> 01:18:12,986
-Or totaI destruction?
-Also never!
1371
01:18:13,096 --> 01:18:16,361
You have 30 seconds.
Make up your minds.
1372
01:18:16,466 --> 01:18:17,933
(ECHOING) Never!
1373
01:18:21,771 --> 01:18:24,399
People, I’m sorry.
1374
01:18:24,507 --> 01:18:27,408
You've never before
heard me say those words,
1375
01:18:27,510 --> 01:18:30,673
or even the individual letters
that make them up.
1376
01:18:31,013 --> 01:18:34,608
But I am.
And with a huge amount of modesty,
1377
01:18:34,751 --> 01:18:37,083
I humbly beg your forgiveness.
1378
01:18:38,988 --> 01:18:40,421
(ALL GASPING)
1379
01:18:40,523 --> 01:18:43,356
Shut up and keep looking apologized to.
1380
01:18:46,562 --> 01:18:47,551
(HUMMING)
1381
01:18:51,768 --> 01:18:55,465
Uh-oh. I have a worrisome shriveling
sensation in my sprunjer.
1382
01:18:59,075 --> 01:19:01,543
(ALL SCREAMING)
1383
01:19:06,315 --> 01:19:08,112
-AMY: Yay! Bender!
-All right!
1384
01:19:09,385 --> 01:19:13,321
Bender, how the Hulk did you end up
with the doomsday device?
1385
01:19:13,423 --> 01:19:14,583
(CHUCKLING)
1386
01:19:14,690 --> 01:19:17,352
I was working the long con all along.
1387
01:19:19,896 --> 01:19:23,525
BENDER.: WhiIe sawing off the professor's
hand with an extremeIy duII saw,
1388
01:19:23,633 --> 01:19:24,827
I had some time to think.
1389
01:19:24,934 --> 01:19:28,927
So I asked myseIf,
'"Who couId use a doomsday device more?
1390
01:19:29,038 --> 01:19:31,563
'"The scammers or me, Bender?'"
1391
01:19:31,674 --> 01:19:34,609
After severaI minutes of sawing,
I knew the answer.
1392
01:19:34,710 --> 01:19:36,143
Me, Bender.
1393
01:19:37,647 --> 01:19:40,172
So I retrieved the dummy satcheI,
1394
01:19:40,283 --> 01:19:41,750
(GIGGLING)
1395
01:19:42,151 --> 01:19:44,676
and as soon as I was out
of the scammer's controI,
1396
01:19:44,787 --> 01:19:47,119
I puIIed the oId switcheroo.
1397
01:19:47,890 --> 01:19:51,382
And that's how I saved Earth
and am the greatest.
1398
01:19:54,730 --> 01:20:00,828
Bender the robot, I’m proud to present you
Earth's highest award for swindling.
1399
01:20:00,937 --> 01:20:03,269
The Dirty Double-Cross.
1400
01:20:03,372 --> 01:20:06,239
I'II aIways treasure it
and immediateIy hock it.
1401
01:20:06,342 --> 01:20:07,809
(CROWD CHEERING)
1402
01:20:07,910 --> 01:20:09,605
There, your body's good as new.
1403
01:20:09,712 --> 01:20:12,647
Just pop in an executive suppository
every few...
1404
01:20:12,748 --> 01:20:13,874
(GASPING)
1405
01:20:14,550 --> 01:20:17,075
(SOBBING)
1406
01:20:17,320 --> 01:20:19,652
-What is it?
-Nothing.
1407
01:20:19,755 --> 01:20:21,814
It’s supposed to be a celebration, Leela.
1408
01:20:21,924 --> 01:20:23,050
I mean, come on.
1409
01:20:23,326 --> 01:20:25,021
Whimmy-wham-wham-whazle!
1410
01:20:25,528 --> 01:20:28,258
I can't help it. I was gonna be married.
1411
01:20:28,364 --> 01:20:29,661
I was so happy.
1412
01:20:29,765 --> 01:20:32,563
Well, maybe you'll meet
someone else someday.
1413
01:20:32,668 --> 01:20:35,102
No, you don't understand.
1414
01:20:35,204 --> 01:20:37,638
Lars is the only man I’ll ever love.
1415
01:20:37,740 --> 01:20:39,435
I know it in my heart.
1416
01:20:39,542 --> 01:20:40,702
(SOBBING)
1417
01:20:45,681 --> 01:20:47,808
You remember when we first met?
1418
01:20:48,618 --> 01:20:52,782
lt was right there in the cryogenic lab,
eight years ago today.
1419
01:20:52,889 --> 01:20:55,858
Meet me there in five minutes.
It’s important.
1420
01:20:57,627 --> 01:20:58,992
(BLOWING)
1421
01:21:04,400 --> 01:21:05,992
(MOANING)
1422
01:21:06,836 --> 01:21:08,827
Why are you so sad, Leelu?
1423
01:21:11,407 --> 01:21:12,567
Him again?
1424
01:21:12,675 --> 01:21:15,075
(GRUNTING)
1425
01:21:16,212 --> 01:21:19,181
Wait a second, are you two...
1426
01:21:19,282 --> 01:21:20,840
(MOANING)
1427
01:21:28,190 --> 01:21:33,150
Atanarjuat, Fufu, come here!
We have to set Leelu free.
1428
01:21:33,262 --> 01:21:36,231
Dang. I never should have quit
my job at the casino.
1429
01:21:36,332 --> 01:21:39,529
Me, neither.
But she needs what'll make her happy,
1430
01:21:39,635 --> 01:21:41,193
not what'll make me happy.
1431
01:21:48,511 --> 01:21:51,776
(GRUNTING)
1432
01:21:55,885 --> 01:21:58,945
(BOTH MOANING)
1433
01:21:59,789 --> 01:22:01,347
Goodbye, Leelu.
1434
01:22:01,457 --> 01:22:03,448
(SOBBING)
1435
01:22:09,165 --> 01:22:11,156
I don't much know about frozen heads,
1436
01:22:11,267 --> 01:22:13,132
but, of course,
if it's Mahatma Gandhi, I’ll...
1437
01:22:13,235 --> 01:22:14,896
-Leela?
-Lars?
1438
01:22:15,004 --> 01:22:16,904
I... I really have to go, I...
1439
01:22:17,006 --> 01:22:20,737
Fry, was this an idiotic trick
to get Lars and me back together?
1440
01:22:20,843 --> 01:22:21,867
Quite idiotic.
1441
01:22:21,978 --> 01:22:25,345
But you don't need to be an idiot
to see that you two belong together.
1442
01:22:25,448 --> 01:22:28,144
And, Leela,
I want what'll make you happy,
1443
01:22:28,250 --> 01:22:30,013
not what'll make me happy.
1444
01:22:30,119 --> 01:22:34,852
I’m sorry, I really am,
but Leela and I just can't be married.
1445
01:22:34,957 --> 01:22:38,654
Why not? You obviously love each other.
What are you, cousins?
1446
01:22:38,761 --> 01:22:42,219
Fry, you deserve to know the truth.
It’s because...
1447
01:22:42,331 --> 01:22:43,423
(BOTH EX CLAIMING)
1448
01:22:43,532 --> 01:22:44,590
Nobody move!
1449
01:22:44,700 --> 01:22:47,533
Nudar, how did you survive
the doom blast?
1450
01:22:47,637 --> 01:22:51,664
My doom-proof platinum vest absorbed
most of the radiation.
1451
01:22:51,774 --> 01:22:54,299
In retrospect,
I wish I’d been wearing doom-proof pants,
1452
01:22:54,410 --> 01:22:56,469
but you know us nudists.
1453
01:22:56,579 --> 01:22:59,173
-Now give me the time code!
-I don't have it!
1454
01:22:59,281 --> 01:23:02,512
-Nibbler heat-blasted it off my butt.
-Not you.
1455
01:23:02,618 --> 01:23:04,381
-You!
-Lars?
1456
01:23:04,487 --> 01:23:07,854
He doesn't have it. He never had it.
Fry had it!
1457
01:23:07,957 --> 01:23:11,825
But Nibbler heat-blasted it off my butt!
I want to stress that part.
1458
01:23:11,927 --> 01:23:15,863
My throbbing sprunjer says otherwise.
Now where is it?
1459
01:23:15,965 --> 01:23:18,661
I’m not afraid of you
or your expensive gun.
1460
01:23:18,768 --> 01:23:20,998
-Go ahead and shoot.
-Oh, yeah?
1461
01:23:21,103 --> 01:23:23,333
Then what if I kill the woman you love?
1462
01:23:23,439 --> 01:23:27,068
Don't you understand, numb-neck?
He doesn't love me!
1463
01:23:28,744 --> 01:23:30,735
I’ve always loved you.
1464
01:23:31,180 --> 01:23:33,842
Don't hurt her. I’ll give you the code.
1465
01:23:38,220 --> 01:23:42,919
-What the...
-Four, three, two, one,
1466
01:23:43,025 --> 01:23:44,322
boom !
1467
01:23:44,427 --> 01:23:46,190
(LAUGHING)
1468
01:23:49,732 --> 01:23:51,290
(EX CLAIMING)
1469
01:23:52,134 --> 01:23:53,863
Lars, no!
1470
01:24:00,676 --> 01:24:01,734
(EX CLAIMING)
1471
01:24:23,599 --> 01:24:25,260
(BENDER SCREAMING)
1472
01:24:27,603 --> 01:24:30,163
It’s enough just to know you're happy.
1473
01:24:31,340 --> 01:24:32,398
You, too.
1474
01:24:32,508 --> 01:24:33,497
(SNIFFLING)
1475
01:24:33,609 --> 01:24:36,407
It’s enough to know
you're happy with Lars.
1476
01:24:37,146 --> 01:24:39,478
Fry, old buddy! It’s me! Bender!
1477
01:24:40,449 --> 01:24:41,939
(EX CLAIMING)
1478
01:24:42,551 --> 01:24:43,779
My hair!
1479
01:24:44,820 --> 01:24:46,117
My larynx!
1480
01:24:49,859 --> 01:24:51,622
I’m Lars?
1481
01:24:52,728 --> 01:24:53,752
I’m Lars!
1482
01:24:55,097 --> 01:24:58,260
Wait for me, Leela !
I’ll be there in a thousand years.
1483
01:25:04,607 --> 01:25:06,632
(30 CENTURYMAN PLAYING)
1484
01:25:07,409 --> 01:25:10,936
I'II save my bread
And take it with me
1485
01:25:16,752 --> 01:25:20,449
Shame you won't be there
To see me
1486
01:25:21,490 --> 01:25:24,789
Shaking hands
with CharIes de GauIIe
1487
01:25:25,728 --> 01:25:30,097
You can freeze
Like a 30th-century man
1488
01:25:33,068 --> 01:25:35,127
So I got a job at the Head Museum
1489
01:25:35,237 --> 01:25:39,071
and waited for the wonderfuI day
when LeeIa wouId arrive.
1490
01:25:39,175 --> 01:25:43,339
Everything was perfect
untiI Hermes expIoded at our wedding.
1491
01:25:43,445 --> 01:25:46,744
That's when I Iearned that,
as a time paradox dupIicate,
1492
01:25:46,849 --> 01:25:48,680
I, too, was doomed.
1493
01:25:48,784 --> 01:25:51,275
I couIdn't put LeeIa through that.
1494
01:25:51,387 --> 01:25:54,515
So I caIIed it off. I'm sorry, LeeIa.
1495
01:25:54,623 --> 01:25:55,612
(SNIFFLING)
1496
01:25:55,724 --> 01:25:56,918
I understand.
1497
01:25:57,459 --> 01:26:00,519
That concIudes
another siIIy-wiIIy video wiII.
1498
01:26:03,732 --> 01:26:05,597
He was a good man, Leela.
1499
01:26:05,701 --> 01:26:07,896
Yeah, you were.
1500
01:26:09,271 --> 01:26:14,004
Well, I guess that wraps everything up
in a nice, paradox-free bow.
1501
01:26:14,109 --> 01:26:17,010
-Not quite, my wrinkly brother.
-Right on.
1502
01:26:17,112 --> 01:26:19,444
In order for any of this
to make any sense at all,
1503
01:26:19,548 --> 01:26:22,517
someone must make
one final trip back in time
1504
01:26:22,618 --> 01:26:25,451
to put the code
on Fry's ass in the first place.
1505
01:26:26,455 --> 01:26:29,015
Sounds like a job for me, Bender.
1506
01:26:32,361 --> 01:26:33,953
Zero, zero, one, one, zero, zero...
1507
01:26:34,063 --> 01:26:35,621
(RECITING TIME CODE QUICKLY)
1508
01:26:40,236 --> 01:26:41,601
Mission accomplished!
1509
01:26:41,704 --> 01:26:44,867
-You put the time code on my ass?
-Someone's ass.
1510
01:26:44,974 --> 01:26:46,168
Oh, and guess what?
1511
01:26:46,275 --> 01:26:50,336
I met all these really cool guys with
treasure down in the limestone cavern,
1512
01:26:50,446 --> 01:26:51,913
so I invited them to stick around
1513
01:26:52,014 --> 01:26:55,575
instead of coming up
when they were logically supposed to.
1514
01:27:00,155 --> 01:27:01,247
(WHIMPERING)
1515
01:27:04,693 --> 01:27:08,754
No! No!
Everyone out of the universe! Quick!
1516
01:27:12,034 --> 01:27:14,093
What's the worst that can happen?
1517
01:27:16,505 --> 01:27:17,494
(EX CLAIMING)
1518
01:27:19,475 --> 01:27:20,499
(EX CLAIMING)
1519
01:27:22,478 --> 01:27:23,502
(EX CLAIMING)
1520
01:27:23,612 --> 01:27:24,636
(EX CLAIMING)
1521
01:27:32,688 --> 01:27:34,383
Well, we're boned.
1522
01:27:39,361 --> 01:27:41,420
(FUTURAMA THEMEPLAYING)
1523
01:27:41,530 --> 01:27:43,896
One, two
One, two, three
1524
01:28:07,256 --> 01:28:09,190
AII rise
Attention
1525
01:28:16,532 --> 01:28:18,124
Twenty-four
I'm gonna get twenty four
1526
01:28:18,233 --> 01:28:20,793
I'm gonna get 24th century
on his ass
1527
01:28:39,788 --> 01:28:42,951
(MECHANICAL GRINDING)
1528
01:28:42,952 --> 01:28:51,352
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